in the middle of the night

the confession confusion

By the time Charles finished all his duties for the day, the multiple photoshoots and what seemed like a thousand interviews- he was exhausted. Everyone had the same question, what do you feel? What is your goal going forward? Is there a seat for you in formula 1? How would your father think of this? Charles was done with everything. He just wanted to get back to his room and talk to his boyfriend

He almost forgot about the little argument he and max got into. It wasn't the first time they'd had a row about their relationship. Charles didn't want to hide anymore. He and max had grown up racing together. Max saw him through thick and thin, not by his side but he was there. He texted Charles when he won his first race, came to visit his motorhome after learning about Jules' death, and gave Charles a shoulder to cry on. That year was particularly hard as Charles was not performing in formula Renault to the level he and his sponsors had expected. The Carlin academy was rumored to drop some drivers that year and Charles' name had come up regularly. It was only with Max's and his dad's help that Charles was able to get over his inhibitions and slump to go and outperform in formula Renault, moving onto f2.

When max was leaving formula 3, Charles decided to confess his feelings.

Until then, they had just been friends, but Charles knew he needed max. he liked him in a way exclusive to partners and he was willing to take the risk for max and their friendship, even though it was something which once gone wrong, could never be recovered.

He was a shaking mess. He had come as part of the f2 series to Barcelona and found max at the pit wall during the press conference day- Thursday. He was all alone while the rest of the teams were testing and preparing for the first race of the season- Australia. Max and Charles didn't have any overlapping weekends or races all of 2014 and had gotten used to staying in contact by calling and meeting during sponsor events and FIA ceremonies. 2015 was the same, they had no overlapping races that year either and this caused Charles extra anxiety- what if he says no, what if he doesn't want to do long distance, and worst of all – what if he hates me for being gay and liking him.

Max saw him wandering down the paddock and called out for his friend, "charlieeee I'm right here!", causing Charles to snap out of his trance and walk towards max. he tried his best to seem normal and confident, attempting to walk in a straight line, keeping his back straight and shoulders broad, with a dimpled smile plastered on his pubescent face, but none of that worked in front of max. He instantly sensed there was something wrong and the teenager was positively distraught.

"Charles? Are you ok? What's wrong with my fav Frenchie?" max knew saying that would help Charles loosen up and he hated being called French. "Max just shut up with the French bullshit you Belgian prick." Charles shook off some of his nerves and broke into a genuine grin, feeling more relaxed in the presence of his friend.

"max, I want to tell you something and I don't know how to say it-"Charles started only to be interrupted by a wide-eyed max who slapped his palm across Charles' mouth. "Ouch, that hurt maxy" Charles cried only to be silenced again. "Charles, before you say anything I want to tell you something. Pierre told me how you talk to him about how close we are and how you like our friendship so much, I love our friendship too Charles, but I don't want us to be friends anymore." Max's words stung Charles like a thousand arrows causing him to lose his balance and stumble back into a wall of toro Rosso tires. Max pulled a dazed Charles with him behind his motor home, but Charles was still not responding. "Charlie, Charlie please look at me ok. The only reason I don't want us to stay friends is because I love you, not like bros love each other, but like how parents love each other. No, wait what am I saying. Uh, I'm fucking this up. What I mean is that – I love you and I want us to be your boyfriend if you will let me"

This was the last thing in the world Charles was expecting, his eyes blurry with tears shoulders slumped, hand holding on to max for dear life as he heard the words- I love you. That snapped Charles out of his temporary trance, and he stood there like a deer in headlights for about a minute, just staring and the blondes face

"Now come on Charlie, I didn't think I'm that ugly man" Max chuckled, trying to diffuse the situation. It did the trick and max was all but shocked when he was engulfed by a sobbing Monegasque, his entire framing trembling and crying in maxs shoulder, and holding on to him for dear life.

"Maxy I love you too" was all max could make out among a string of broken sobs coming from his best friend, collapsed in his arms.

This marked the beginning of their relationship.

{AN- HEY GUYS! THANKS FOR 40 READS WOW! i really hope you are enjoying my book and do let me know in the comments if you want more of these flashbacks or if I should just move along to the main plot! don't forget to let me know what u think so far! :) }