LEGENDARIUM|| 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗗|| #Wattys2022

Ika-labing Limang Kabanata

Ngumiti ako ng pagak.

Ako'y nasa terrace ng palasyo ng aking kapatid. It's full of gemstones and crystals. Who would have known that the underworld is such a wonderful place?

As I settled, I noticed my sister's stare. I gave her a questioning stare.

"What's wrong? Something on my face?" I asked her. Umiling lang naman siya.

What is it then? Why is she staring at me as if I did something wrong?

She was sitting in front of me, legs crossed, as if she's inspecting something. It made me a lot more conscious. If you're wondering why I'm not cold or nonchalant, it is because she is my sister, and this is her home. To me, home has always been a person. She's home.

"Can you tell me why you're marrying a man who you don't love?" she asked me straight up.

I chuckled at her bluntness. As always, she's Vweusky Shivani, she doesn't do sugar coating. I guess that's where I got my coldness from. But to answer her question, I'll just tell her the truth. There's no sense in lying to her of course. She's my sister after all.

"I have to marry him to make the court stronger." I answered her.

Nagulat ako ng bigla siyang tumawa, yung tawa na parang hindi makapaniwala sa aking turan.

"Via, stop kidding around. You don't need to marry a prince for power. He's not even half of ours. Stop pretending and cut it off." she said.

I looked down, not knowing what to tell her. That's what I was thinking of—

"You still love him. You're using this marriage as an excuse to yourself that you've moved on. Yet you haven't. You're convincing yourself that it's for your people when it's for you. To fool yourself that until all these years—"

I cut her off, feeling the ache of my heart.

"Siya parin." sagot ko.

Looking down as if I was ashamed that I did. Because I am, we've ended for years now, but I still love him. He still lingers in my mind, he still takes over my system, I shouldn't be thinking of it because of this war that's coming. Yet I can't help it. I wish my heart and brain would stop, but I couldn't. It won't listen to me.

Warm hands wrapped around me, I was surprised as she kissed my forehead. Just like before whenever I'm sad, or scared, that's what she does. She calms me down in every way possible.

"Via, it's okay to miss him.." she said softly.

And that's where it started, my tears fell down, I let out a sob. She knows, she always knows. She's the person I go to for help, and she's the person who knows my pain more than anyone else.

"I just don't get it ate.. I'm trying.." I told her.

As my tears fell down, my whole being cried to my sister. I just couldn't take it all at once. Everything was like it happened yesterday. We ended things nicely, and maybe that's the reason why I always wanted to come back to him. Mas masakit kung ayos kayong naghiwalay, dahil hindi mo alam kung saan ka nagkamali, saan kayo nagkamali, dahil parehas niyong mahal ang isa't isa.

"Shhh.. I know you're trying, Via. But the harder you're trying, the harder it won't go away." she said as she hugged me tighter.

I sobbed louder, feeling my heart breaking once again,

"I just want my heart to stop loving him.. but it never stops.." I cried.

It never stops wanting him, it never stops thinking about him. Everything is always about him.