Hopeless // Calum Hood

Chapter 1

One thousand three hundred and ninety five days before..

Poppy's POV
I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved.
I woke up into a nightmare.

"Poppy get up!" I heard my mother's voice boom through the house.
"Alright!" I yelled back in despair.

Today is the day that I left for England.
I left my entire life behind, Calum, my friends, school and many other not so important things but they still seem to matter greatly to me. More than they ever had before.
There are times when the actual experience of leaving something makes me wish desperately that I could stay, and then there are times when the leaving reminds me a hundred times over why exactly I had to leave in the first place.

Just under a year ago my father died. He was in a car accident driving to the airport to come back home after he had been on a business trip interstate.

He had a strange obsession with England. Don't ask me why. He always wanted to go there, it was his greatest ambition in life.
We had plenty of money saved up so we could go on a 2 month trip to England. But Dad passed away before he could ever make it there. And I guess that's really the whole reason we are moving, for my Father, because it's what he would have wanted.

But I was scared. I had never been so unsure of something in my life. I knew that we needed to go, and I understood and respected my Mum for making the decision but the danger is that in that move towards new horizons and far directions, I may lose what I have now and not find anything except loneliness.

We hopped into the car and made our way to the airport. I was expecting to see all the boys there, including Calum. And I knew that Yvette (pronounced eve-ett) would be there, 100%.

Yvette is my bestest friend in the entire world, we are inseperable. She moved to Australia from France when she 9 and I immediately befriended her. I had always wanted a friend from another country.
She still has her accent and its quite thick, she has dark hair almost black and piercing green eyes. Every girl in our school envies her beauty, she is the most beautiful person I know and that is not an exaggeration.

As we're driving to the airport all I can feel is guilt. I feel terrible about leaving Calum. I promised him I never would.

His mother left when he was young, and I promised him that I would never be like her. But here I am on my way to the airport, to leave him..

"Wait! Turn around now!" I screamed at my mother almost causing a car accident.
"What? Why?" She yelled back.
"Mum I forget to put it on! I need it turn around!" I shouted with tears prickly at the corners of my eyes.

"Okay! Okay! We'll go back and get it, its alright Poppy, everything is alright" she assured me.

I slowed down my breathing and relaxed although I couldn't help the tears that were falling down my face. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and closed my eyes.

Everything will be okay.

I ran back inside with no hesitation, I ran up the stairs missing a few.
I went into the bathroom and grabbed the dainty piece of silver that was sitting next to the sink.

How could I forget to put this necklace on before I left? Its the only piece of jewellery I ever wear and it's so important to me, how the hell could I forget it?

There are two charms on it, one thin piece of pure silver shaped as a love heart that has four words imprinted onto it, it read 'you're my everything - Calum xo'
He had given me this on my 15th birthday last year, at that point we had officially been together for a year.

The other charm on it is a locket shaped as a love heart also. There is a picture of my father inside and RIP is imprinted onto the back.
This necklace means so much to me and I don't know what I would do if I lost it.

After checking in our luggage we headed to the terminal. I was thankful to see Calum, Michael, Luke and Ashton all standing there looking gloomy. And of course Yvette, she looked so sad, the saddest I had ever seen her.

Before I could think my legs were moving the fastest they had ever moved. I was running, sprinting, I leaped into Calum. His strong arms wrapped around my torso. I held the back of his head with one hand and placed my other on his back.
I could feel him crying into the crook of my neck.

I had only ever seen Calum cry once. We were 11 and he broke down completely while he was talking about how his mum left. It had never hurt so much to see anyone cry, ever.

I could feel the tears that had fallen from his sleep deprived eyes slide down my collar bone.

I lifted Calum's face to mine and spoke calmly although I was crying heavily, "Everybody has to leave baby, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons" I tried smiling sincerely but honestly my heart was breaking looking into his chocolate eyes.

"No Poppy, you can't leave," his words were broken and fragile. I could practically hear his heart shattering into millions of pieces.

"I'm sorry Calum, I have no choice," I told him gently.

As much as I didn't want to go, deep down I knew it was for the best.

"Baby, please," he cried, "I'm hopeless without you"

This is the moment that I lost all control. The tears were were falling and there was no stopping them, I was shaking and my heart was aching.

But I needed to be strong. I need to be strong for myself and for Calum. I tried to pull myself together but it just wasn't working. Calum rapped his arms around my torso again and I felt all my problems float away until I heard Calum speak so softly.

"Stay"

"Calum please don't make this any harder for me than it already is, you know I don't want to leave but I don't have a choice!" My voice was breaking and I was becoming weaker.

"I love you" I said.
But I didn't only say the words, I sent the message through my fingers and into his, through his arm and into his heart.

"I love you and I'm so sorry that i'm leaving you."

We both cried some more until our eyes were dry and stinging. We said our final goodbyes and drifted in different directions.

I love him so, so much. And the fact that im leaving him for who knows how long breaks my heart more than you could ever imagine.

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A/N

The picture I have attached is how I picture Yvette :)

If you're reading this thank you so much, there is a lot more to come so please stay tuned :))))

Love you all xo