Hopeless // Calum Hood

Chapter 2

As I was sitting on the plane I was thinking back to my goodbyes with my best friends.

Eve understood why I had to go, she was shattered but she understood. There were a lot of tears, a lot of 'I love you's' and a lot of 'I will miss you's'.

"Promise we will talk everyday" she had said with her accent.
But what if that won't be possible, what if we can't talk everyday and we eventually just gave up on each other?

And what about Calum? I knew we loved each other, but distance can do strange things to people. I was just hoping that it wouldn't change us.

Luke refused to cry. He said I would be back and that everything would be normal again. It would be like I never left he said. But what if my Mum loves it there in England, and she never wants to leave? What if London becomes our permanent home?

Ashton and Michael let out a few tears but I told them to stay strong for me and that I would come and visit and that we would talk as often as possible. It seemed to calm them down but I could tell Calum wasn't buying it.

The truth was it would be difficult to talk often with the time difference and I wouldn't ever have enough money to visit unless it was for Christmas and that would be to go and visit family.

Could I maintain my close relationships with these people when I'm only seeing them once a year?

----

In England, one thousand and thirty days before..

I loved when I could reach Calum on the phone and as he said hello, I could hear the music he was listening to in the background. That music was the sound of him without me. How he'd surround himself when I'm not there, which was all the time.

I missed him a lot, it had been a year since I last saw him. We would talk often but things were definetly different.

The 'I love yous' and 'I love you mores' became 'I love yous' and 'you toos'.
The 'I miss yous' and 'I miss you to the moon and backs' became 'I miss yous' and 'you toos'.

I believed he still loved me, I just think that the struggle of not being about to see me was more powerful.
Eve told me that Cal was struggling. She said she had heard him crying a few times when he thought no one could hear.
But whenever I talk to her about him lately she just seems off, she seems to brush it off and change the subject quickly. I don't if I should be worried..

I cried a lot. In any sort of silence the tears would fall unrestrained. Just thinking about the people I left behind made my heart break into millions of tiny pieces.

Eve said she had planned to come visit me in a few months. You couldn't ever understand how happy that made me, seeing her face will be one of the happiest days of my life.

----

One thousand and twenty five days before..

I tried to call Calum today, it went straight to voice mail. We haven't talked in over a week and I guess that was normal but I was craving his voice more than ever.

I tried a few more times but it went straight to voice mail every time.

This was strange.

If I call and he doesn't answer I'll wait a while and call back and he would answer almost instantly. So either he's asleep, too busy to talk to me or he's ignoring me. And all I could think about was what if he was ignoring me.

What if he didn't love me anymore? Now that he can't see me and physically be with me he doesn't even want to bother with us?

No.

He did love me, he loved me so much.

But I still couldn't push the thought out of my head.

I was always holding on to people and they were always leaving..

-----

Helloooo

Just a short chapter today but there will be another one up very soon :)))

I know this is boring by I had to write something while she's in england

Please remember to comment and vote thank youuuu xoxoxox

(Picture attached is how I picture Poppy's Mum)