Only Time Will Tell - A Peaky Blinders Story

Chapter 4 - Never drinking again

"Fucking hell." Cass groans as she plops down on a chair and the kitchen table. She gently leans down and rests her head on the table, ignoring the smirk her aunt is sending her. "I told you to take it easy." Polly reminds her as she pours them both some tea. "Tell that to my brothers next time. I don't even know what we ended up drinking by the docks, but it was fucking disgusting. I never want to go out with them ever again." Cass replies, making her aunt laugh. "What time is it, anyway?" She then asks, not sure if it's sunrise or sunset. "It's almost half past 6, love. You slept all day." Polly replies, laughing when Cass shoots up in shock before rubbing her head in regret.

The pair sit in silence for a while, Cass being grateful for the tea which is soothing her nausea. It's not long before the gossip in Pol starts to break free. "So, were there any nice men in London?" the older between the two asks with a smirk. "They were ok, I guess. I wasn't really looking." Cass says, scrunching her nose at the thought. "You can't tell me you're still waiting for this mysterious Alfred to come along. Cass, it's been such a long time. You can't pin your all of your hopes on finding him." Polly says with a sigh. "I can't move on, Pol." Cass replies, tears building in her eyes. "You're going to have to someday. You deserve to have a family of your own." Polly argues, a new thought entering her mind.

"Speaking of, how long has it been for you?" Polly then asks, narrowing her eyes towards her niece playfully. "What do you mean, Pol?" Cass asks, dreading the answer. "You know... How long has it been since you've been with a man?" Polly reiterates, holding her laugh when Cass looks at her in shock. It takes Cass a moment to think about it, and that's already a bad sign in Polly's eyes.

"7 years. I think." Cass eventually replies sheepishly, making her aunt gasp. "7 bloody years? How the fuck have you managed to go that long?" Polly says in shock. "I don't know, Pol. There was the war, then everything that happened with Kimber, and the boys are all too protective for me to even think about looking for someone in that way. It's not really crossed my mind." Cass says, shrugging innocently. "Jesus Christ, Cass. You need to start putting yourself first." Polly says. That's when the realisation hits her.

"Wait a minute..." She says, taking Cass's hand in full seriousness, "You didn't do it with Alfred?" She then almost shrieks. Cass immediately shushes her aunt in case anyone was hanging around and could hear. "It was never a good time." Cass replies, almost sadly as she remembers all of the times her and Alfred's meetings were cut short. "Never a good bloody time? Cass, you're too sweet for your own good. Not everything has to be romantic." Polly argues. "He wanted it to be, though. He's the one that wanted to wait. Neither of us knew if we were going to survive, and it was too much pressure for it to be a fleeting moment in the mud behind the hospital." Cass says, trying to make her aunt understand.

Polly is taken back for a moment. She's never heard of a man who wanted to wait. In all of her experiences, men only want one thing. Never could she have imagined that someone could care for a woman enough to wait all of that time. It's a new concept for her to fathom.

"That's why you want to wait for him, isn't it? He really cared about you." Polly says, her eyes filling with sympathy. All Cass can do is nod. She doesn't care if she has to wait another 30 years to find Alfred, as long as she does. Her livelihood depends on this search, and she'll be damned if she moves on before she knows the truth. "Well, let's make sure you find him then." Polly then says in a hopeful tone. Neither of them want to mention the fact that it might be a pointless search. He could be dead for all they knew, even still in France, but they were now both determined to not believe that.

"Well, I'm glad that conversation is over." Tommy says in the doorway after a few minutes of silence, making both of the women jump. "How long were you standing there?" Cass says, clearly mortified. "About 7 years." Tommy replies with a smirk. Cass instantly groans and places her head in her hands. "Don't worry, Cass. I won't tell anyone. In fact, I might just remove the information from my head completely. It's not exactly a conversation I want to remember hearing." Tommy reassures, laughing when Polly does. "Thank fuck for that." Cass replies.

"Want something to eat?" Polly asks them both, changing the conversation. "Yes please." The siblings reply in unison. Tommy sits next to his sister at the table, sending an unsure look into her eyes. "You'll find him, Cass." He whispers, making sure their aunt doesn't hear his kind words. "I hope so." Cass whispers in reply with a small smile before shaking it off completely and offering to help cook.

Tommy watches his sister as she and their aunt make food for the family. He can't help but feel bad for her. Not about the amount of time she's been waiting, but for the reasons she's been holding herself back. She's been keeping herself busy because of him. He asked for her help regarding the business. He was the prompt for her killing Kimber. He was even the reason she signed up for the war – although he would never tell anyone that he practically begged for her to join him the day he found out he was drafted. It was all his fault that she had been so lonely the last few years. She deserved to feel loved, and he was going to make sure that happened. Even if it killed him.