steven fernandez love story

chapter 12

SPOV:
S:I have two questions..
maya had a worried look on her face,i wonder why
M:uhh what are the questions?
S: well first what does nick mean when he said that he didn't want you to go back to the way you were?
M:oh well uhh... I used to be depressed
S:what! how come you never told me?
M:I don't know I didn't want you to worry about me..
S:of course im going to worry about you,you're my girlfriend I have to worry about you
M: oh well ha now you know next question?
I can tell she didn't want to talk about it so I kinda just left it alone but we will eventually have a conversation about this
S:oh uhh nick said you needed to tell me something
M:oh yea I started cutting again do you wanna go eat?
S:what the hell maya! I thought you stopped a long time ago??
M:im sorry steven... I just can't help it sometimes
I softened my voice
S: what makes you do this to yourself? is it me?
M:oh no no you are not reason it's just I don't find myself "pretty" or "skinny" everyone tells me I am but I don't think I am, i can never see what anyone else see's and because of a lot of stuff that happened with my family
S:maya you are the most beautiful girl i've ever seen,you are perfect just the way you are..and what happened with your family?
M:thank you but I just don't see that.. a lot but im just not ready to talk about it.
S:it's ok I understand but please try and stop I don't like it when you hurt yourself :(
M:I'll try but it'll be hard trust me
S: I know it will but please just try..for me?
M: *sighs* ok I'll try but no promises
S:ok as long as you're trying
MPOV:
well that was a great conversation wasn't it? steven came up to me and hugged me,his hands around my waist and mine around his neck
he pulled away and looked me in the eyes
S:I love you so much maya
M:I love you too steven
he leaned in and kissed me it wasn't rough or aggressive and was slow and passionate I liked it ;)
when we pulled away for air steven looked down at my arms..
M:do you want to see them?
he nodded his head.. honestly I didn't think they looked bad. I rolled up my sleeves and he was shocked.
S:oh my god
M:what?
S:th-there's so many..
he honestly looked like he wanted to cry
M:hm not really its been worse
S:what? this is a lot and you're saying there's been way more?
M:yea it's not only on my arms it's also on my thighs and sometimes I give myself bruises
I know you probably think I'm all fucked up but that's how I am so.. I don't know what to tell you
S:I never knew it was this bad,bruises?
M:yea like I get a hairbrush and I just hit it against my leg..
S:who knows about this?
M:so far you,nick,alex and one of my other close friends but that's it
S:ohh,have you ever tried to get help for this?
M: umm no not really like I can't tell my mom because she'll freak out I mean nick and alex have tried to help me but I don't know I guess I never listen..
S: i-i just don't know what to say
M:you're probably disgusted by now.
I was looking down and looking at my fingers
S:what! never I love you no matter what ok maya? don't ever forget that
I was starting to tear up honestly talking about this gets me really emotional
M: I love you too
he came closer to me and lifted up my chin and just kissed me, god his lips are so soft
this slowly turned into a makeout session he licked my bottom lip asking for entrance but I denied
S:aw
M:there's something else I need to tell you
S:what?
M:I also hate to eat because im so fat so I just skip meals, ha I haven't eaten a FULL meal since like last week
S:what! are you trying to kill yourself!?
M:uhh
S:nevermind don't answer that
I just sat there quietly
S:let's go
M:where are we going?
S:somewhere, lets just go
M:fine
we walked out of my house and we started walking I feel like steven will treat me differently now like more worried and cautious which is what I didn't want
M: steven what are we doing here?
S:we are going to eat
we were infront of in n out
M:steven i-i can't
S:you have to now come on
we went inside and he ordered me a cheeseburger and he got a double double
we went to go sit down at a booth and I just sat there looking at my food while steven was eating
S:c'mon maya,eat please
M:i'll try
honestly when I eat I feel like I'm going to throw up and then I feel really bad about myself
u took one bite and it was just..ugh I couldn't
M:please steven I can't
I swear I was going to start crying
S: *sighs* fine but we are going to work on this ok?
M:ok ok
we went back to my house and went straight to my room,
S:are you ready for school tomorrow?
M:nope I do not want to wake up early
S: me neither..atleast I'll have you with me
he smiled,ugh his smile makes me melt
I was starting to fall asleep so I gave him a peck on the lips and said goodnight.
I fell asleep with my leg around him and him hugging me💟.

a/n
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im starting to make my chapters longer, u like? good thanks for reading lovelies<3