Sapphire Witch - Under Editing to make it easier to read

Lockhart's Classes and Quidditch

 ~Lockhart~

Gilderoy Lockhart paces before the class. Hermione and the girls hang on his every word, while Harry and Ron eye the large, covered cage rattling mysteriously on his desk. Lockhart: "Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher-" Y/n: "Severus Snape!" Lockhart: "No-" Y/n: "Remus Lupin?!" Lockhart: "No!" Y/n: "The Pink toad woman?!" Lockhart: "Who?" Y/n: "Umbridge. Barty Crouch Jr!" Lockhart: "He's in Azkaban!" Y/n: "Dumbledore is returning to teach?! OOOO- Grindlewald!" Lockhart: "No! Quiet! Me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most- Charming-Smile Award -- But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" Lockhart awaits laughter. A few students smile weakly. Y/n: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Draco snorts at Y/ns antics. Lockhart: "I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done." Y/n: "We don't get a choice on which books we buy or not." Lockhart: "Please. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in..." Lockhart begins to circulate papers. Harry and Ron examine the questions. Ron whispers to Harry. Ron: "Look at these questions. They're all about him." Y/n: "I know all the answers. Want them?" Ron: "Yes." Harry: "We need to purposely get some wrong." Ron: "Good idea." Lockhart: "You have thirty minutes. Start --now!" Harry: "What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?'" Y/n: "Lilac." Ron: "'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?" Y/n: "Banishing the Bogle-Banshee." Hermione: "What are you three doing?" Y/n: "Do you want to join? I know all the answers." Hermione: "Sure." Y/n: "Get one wrong so it doesn't look like we're cheating." Hermione: "Genius. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret Ambition?" Y/n: "To rid the world of evil and pull a Fleamont Potter." Harry: "Huh?" Y/n: "Create and sell hair products." Ron: "How many times did Lockhart win the smile comp-" Y/n: "5. Jan. 36, and harmony between muggles and non-muggles." As quills begin to dart across pages, Y/n rolls her eyes. Lockhart rifles through the completed exams. Lockhart: "Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered my favorite color is lilac. But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. And Ms. Potter got every question right. Good girls-" Y/n: "You can't overpower Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and Scalp Treatment. Two drops tame even the most bothersome barnet!" Random Student: "Woah! I just got Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and Scalp Treatment." Y/n: "Thank you for supporting my and Harry's grandfather's potion!" Hermione beams. Lockhart's expression suddenly darkens. Lockhart: " Now... be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourself facing your own worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here..." With a showman's flair, Lockhart turns slowly to the cage. Lockhart: "I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them." A pale Neville draws back. Harry and Ron lean forward. Lockhart lets the tension build, then whips off the cover. Inside the cage are several electric blue creatures. Eight inches tall, with pointed faces and wings, they rattle the bars and pull bizarre faces at the students. Seamus: "Cornish pixies?" Lockhart: "Freshly caught Cornish pixies." Unable to control himself, Seamus snorts with laughter. Lockhart: "Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnegan, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now!" Lockhart flings open the cage. Instantly, the pixies rocket about, spraying the students with ink bottles, breaking beakers, and shredding books. Two seize Neville by the ears, lift him into the air, and begin to circle the ceiling. Lockhart: "Come on now, round them up, round them up. They're only pixies. (brandishing his wand) Peskipiski Pesternomi!" The spell has absolutely no effect. A particularly obnoxious pixie makes a face, seizes Lockhart's wand, and tosses it out the window. Lockhart joins the stampede to the door. Lockhart: "I'll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." Slamming the door, he's gone. Harry, Ron, Y/n, and Hermione stand blinking. Ron swats a pixie gnawing his ear. Ron: "What do we do now?" Y/n smacks a pixie away from her. Hermione: (raising her wand) "Immobilus!" The pixies freeze in midair. Neville falls and plops onto Lockhart's desk, shaken but unhurt. He looks at Hermione. Neville: "Why is it always me?" Y/n: "Dunno."

~ Seventh-floor ~

Fresh from the pixies, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Y/n, and Neville walk. Hair askew. Robes shredded. Y/n: "That's why I didn't wear my robes." Ron: "Can you believe him?" Hermione: "I'm sure Professor Lockhart just wanted to give us some hands-on experience." Regulus: "You lot look like you've been hit by a truck." Y/n: "Lockhart." Regulus pats her head before walking off. Harry: "Hands-on? Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing." Hermione: "Rubbish. Read his books. You'll see all the amazing things he's done." Ron: "He says he's done."

~Courtyard~

The Gryffindor Quidditch team -- Harry, Fred, George, y/n, Alicia Spinnet, and Angelina Johnson-- trail Oliver Wood through the courtyard, toward the distant Quidditch pitch. Several students are outside, studying. Wood: "I spent the summer devising a whole new Quidditch program. We're going to train earlier, harder, and longer! (squinting) What the... I don't believe it!" Y/n: "It's a coop!" Crossing the courtyard from the other side are seven boys in green robes, also carrying broomsticks. At their lead is Marcus Flint, trollish Slytherin Captain. Ron, sitting at a table with Hermione looks up. Ron: "Uh-oh. I smell trouble." Wood: "Clear out, Flint! I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today." Flint: "Easy, Wood. I've got a note." As Wood snatches the parchment from Flint's hand, Ron and Hermione come up to join the others. Wood: "'I, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." Y/n: "Who! Who am I teaching next!" arcus laughs at Y/n's excitement. Adrian: "You're going to be mad." Wood: (looking up) "Yo\u've got a new Seeker? Who?" A pasty-faced boy pushes to the front. It's... Malfoy. Harry: "Draco?" Y/n: "I have a one-strike policy Pucey." Adrain: "Flint told him." Draco: "That's right. And that's not all that's new this year..." As one, the seven Slytherins hold out seven brand-new gleaming broomsticks. The Gryffindors look stunned. Ron: "Those are Nimbus Two Thousand Ones." Y/n shows Adrian her new broom with her initials carved into it. Adrian: "A Nimbus 2001!" Y/n: "Almost was 2000. Since I had walked into the house shouting: compared to Voldemort Grindlewald isn't as bad." Adrian: "Y/n Natayla Maximoff!" Y/n: "It's true! He didn't care about blood status, he did what he did to help wizards and witches of all statuses." Flint: "A generous gift from Draco's father." Draco: "That's right, Weasley. You see, unlike some, my father can afford to buy the best." Hermione: "At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent." Y/n: "No! Terenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!" Terence: "Huh?" Y/n sobs. Y/n: "He was so close!" Adrian: "She's upset because you were replaced." Draco: "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood." Y/n punches Draco straight in the nose, breaking it. Adrian: "Woah! Woah! Woah." Adrian holds Y/n back before she could get herself expelled. Adrian sees Cedric. Adrian: "Cedric! Terence! Some help!" Cedric and Terence run up and help hold her back. Cedric: "Run Malfoy. And run fast." Everyone reacts as if Malfoy has said something horrific-- everyone; save Harry, who looks puzzled. Instantly, Fred and George fly for Draco's throat. Oliver Wood holds them back. Wood: "Save it for the match." Y/n is still struggling. Y/n: "I'll curse him up the wazoo!" Terence is holding her back with one arm around her collar bone and the other around her waist. Cedric then maneuvers himself in front of her and grabs her waist while Adrian pushes her back his hand flat against right under her collar.   Adrian: "Run and hide Malfoy!" Cedric: "We can't hold her back forever. Ow!" Terence: "She's going to gut you alive for this!" Y/n kicked Cedric in the shin. Y/n: "I swear to Merlin!" Ron: "You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! (whips out his wand) Eat slugs!" Ron points his cracked wand at Malfoy. PFFT! -- a bolt of green light scissors out the wrong end, hitting Ron himself in the stomach. As he drops to the grass, Hermione runs to him. Hermione: "Ron! Say something!" Ron opens his mouth and... belches. Hermione draws back and watches a trio of slugs dribble out his mouth. The Slytherins crow with laughter. Angrily, Ron rises, only to belch again. Fascinated, Colin Creevey runs up with his camera. Colin: "Wow! Can you hold him still, Harry?!" Y/n escapes. Cedric, Terence, and Adrian: "Shoot!" They scramble to grab her again. She points her wand at Malfoy. Y/n: "VENTUS!" (VEN-tuss) Shoots a jet of spiraling wind from the caster's wand. Malfoy: "Ahhhh!" Y/n: "MIMBLE WIMBLE!" (Tongue-Tying Curse) The Gryffindor team laughs. Harry: "Get out of the way, Colin! (to Hermione) Let's take him to Hagrid. He'll know what to do."