Scars to Your Beautiful (New)

Healing

There was a downside to recovering from injuries. I needed less sleep as I got better, and my energy levels started to rise again. I became acutely aware that until now, I was always moving or doing something. But due to my injuries and the fact that I was naked...like seriously, not a stitch of clothing on me unless you counted the bandages that wrapped around my legs, stomach, and whatever the hell was immobilizing my left arm...I guess I should be grateful that Nyko hadn't put me in a diaper...at least, I hoped he hadn't...that would've been embarrassing as all get out...like, seriously...wide-eyed, here...I was bedridden.

Anyway, fuck, my mind rambled.

Being awake and stuck in bed with nothing to do quickly led to being bored. Hoping to endear myself to the large healer, I asked him about whatever he was doing. Nyko immediately perked up like no one had ever asked him that before, shocking me with his eagerness, and he started explaining what he was doing. Telling me about the plants and how he prepared them until they were needed. He told me why this or that plant was best for this or that ailment and if it was better to use them as tea, elixir, or salve. Nyko showed me step-by-step how to prepare the medicine and how the application affected the body using my captive state.

It was fascinating to learn because I never knew plants could have that many uses. But even more so was that not many had adverse side effects compared to the medicine on the Ark. Though that didn't mean there still weren't addictive properties to some of the plants. Poppies were still around, and the Grounders had something called jobi nuts that caused hallucinations.

Learning about the medicinal plants did have an unforeseen realization. It made me acutely aware that Clarke could greatly benefit from what I was taught. I felt guilty that I had the opportunity when the blonde needed it more than I did. And that both she and Nyko could collaborate and exchange medical information that would benefit both our people. When I mentioned my thoughts to the bearded giant, he too expressed his regrets that he could not also teach Clarke. That, unfortunately, did not make me feel any better, and I still felt like I was taking an opportunity away from someone more deserving.

But there was nothing I could do to change the current situation between our people, so I had to let it go. As guilty as I felt, I remained attentive and listened to what Nyko taught me.

Throughout our conversations, there were times when the language barrier became pronounced. Where words in Nyko's language didn't have an English equivalent, or he couldn't adequately explain for my understanding. So, after a conversation with Indra, Nyko started to teach me their language, Trigedasleng. I was surprised by how quickly I picked it up, and our conversations became longer and more in-depth as the days passed.

Though I was leery of the people I now felt indebted to, I felt no qualms about telling Nyko everything I knew about my people and where we came from. I wouldn't say that I necessarily bad-mouthed my people, but I certainly didn't paint them in a bright light. I couldn't, not after how I was treated all my life. I could tell by the tenseness in Nyko's body language that the things I told him didn't sit well with him, but gratefully, he never pushed for more information. He let me tell him in my own time. It was nice to be heard for once, and some of the weight I had always carried with me lifted the more I opened up.

There was another reason I was so open about my people besides getting things off my chest. It was about survival and metaphorically getting my foot in the door. If I proved myself helpful with providing information, I might be given a chance to prove myself useful in other ways and, therefore, stay alive. I'd already lived past my expiration date and wanted to keep it that way. And who knows, maybe survival would turn into something else.

I wasn't foolish or naïve enough to believe that I was safe. Indra would occasionally stop by, checking on my progress and questioning me about my people. I remained truthful with my answers without an ounce of guilt. Why wouldn't I when it felt as if my people had turned their backs on me a long time ago? A feeling that had persisted once we landed, even with my so-called friends' attention. I wondered if they had noticed I wasn't there anymore, and it hurt to think that they probably hadn't.