Scars to Your Beautiful (New)

Failure Isn't an Option?

ROOK POV

Our small group got back to the village midmorning. Those who accompanied us had been due back after their rotation and hadn't minded the extra duty. After taking care of Blaze, I grabbed my bags and headed home, not surprised to find it empty when I got there. Heading directly to my desk, I emptied everything I'd taken from the bunker, including a solar lantern I pilfered on my way out.

Oops. At least I left the music player I saw alone. And the black carbon steel 40" Honshu single-hand sword I spotted in the armory. And the rolling toolbox with like a bazillion drawers and every tool I'd ever want. And the welding kit. And...and...Indra should have never brought me to the Pentagon bunker.

Hopefully, I'd be able to curb my cravings when I went back. Hopefully.

Did I mention the suit of armor that would've been every medieval knight's wet dream?

I shook myself from my post-Pentagon bunker high and focused on the task I'd been given. Learn, design, and build tek that could potentially benefit Trikru and the Kongeda. I set the solar lantern on the windowsill above my desk to charge, opened the binder with what I needed, and started reading.

Contrary to the village's belief, I didn't know everything about tek. Everything that I'd built since coming to Tondc had been simple machines. Small gears and pistons while applying basic physics. Well, basic to me with my Skaikru education. And while it all was easy for me to learn, I knew that there was still much I didn't know. Technically, I'd only had a year and some months of formal training while still learning a lot on my own.

I understood electricity and how all the pieces worked, but I had never gotten the chance to work physically on electronic systems or wiring. Jake Griffin had been a brilliant man and had done his best to encourage me to learn and think outside the box. But he had also been adamant about learning theory and taking small steps regarding practical applications. Working on the dropship had been my first real foray into the work I would've done if I hadn't been arrested.

And after that clusterfuck, I was bound and determined to get this right. I knew that if these ideas didn't pan out, Indra wouldn't hold it against me. I knew that, but even though I'd done a lot of healing and my self-confidence had grown, I still feared failing. Of proving my parents right. It was an ugly fear that still reared its head every time I delved into something new, something unknown and unfamiliar.

Hell, I still felt it in my relationship with Ava. That my insecurities would be too much somewhere down the line, and she would grow tired and leave me.

It was a constant battle, but I was slowly winning the war against a lifetime of vitriol.

But right now, as I read and took notes, those little voices were niggling in the back of my mind, causing me to double and triple-check to ensure I got things right. And like on the Ark under Jake's tutelage, it became my sole focus, and I blocked everything else out.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been at my desk when Ava returned. I was engrossed in figuring out dimensions and areas of effect, scribbling and drawing, and working out equations; my mind entirely focused on what was in front of me. I only noticed when the scent of woodsmoke and ink mixed with Ava's jasmine shampoo wafted across my nose.

My reaction was instant. I felt my body relax as I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled her scent. I relaxed even further when she pressed against my back and wrapped her arms around me. I tilted my head, exposing my neck, and was rewarded with lips and a gentle nip that made me softly moan. My hand finally stilling.

"Hei," I whispered, smiling with my eyes still closed, content in her arms.

"Hei, ai meizen pakstoka," Ava returned, her breath against my neck giving me a full-body shiver. "I missed you."