Living the Dream

Three

     The holidays were a great time to rest and recharge. Wes and I really got to spend a lot of time together. He seems to be doing well with the idea of me touring this year. It's the third week of January, and tonight is the night that my second album will be released. There's a feeling in my chest that I can't ignore. I can't tell if it's excitement or anxiety, but it feels like the high that inspired me to chase this dream in the first place. There's a pit in my stomach though, because I can't help but wonder if there's a single person out there other than me who is actually awaiting the release of this album.

     I wish I could say I poured everything I had into this album, but the truth is that I didn't. The truth is that I wish I could have poured everything I had into this album, but my management did not allow me to. I wish I could have created a more authentic country sound. I wish I could have included songs written exclusively by me. Above all, I wish I knew why my songs were not good enough to be included on this record. I wonder if any of my audience will know that this work just isn't me. 

      In the past month or so, Morgan and Hardy have been helping quite a bit with the album. I've gotten to know both of them well enough that I feel comfortable touring with them now. I think we're going to have a really great time. 

     Wes and I are getting ready to go to the album release party that Joseph is throwing for me at some club I've never been to. I'm wearing a navy blue long sleeve dress that hugs my figure with my hair slicked back into a high ponytail. 

     "Babe, what do you want me to wear?" Wes asks. 

     "I don't care!"

     "Well, I don't want to embarrass you."

     "You aren't going to. I'm wearing navy. Just wear something that goes with that." I put the finishing touches on my makeup and then come out of the bathroom. Wes is wearing a pair of navy dress pants with a white collared button down. 

     "You look good," I smile. I put my hands on his chest and give him a warm, passionate kiss. 

     "Are you excited?" he asks.

     "I'm tryin' to be," I say quietly.

     "I love you, Natalie."

     "I love you more." 

     Wes wraps me in a warm embrace, kissing me softly once again and running his hands over my back. His touch immediately calms my nerves and I sink into him, kissing him deeper as I tug on his collar to bring him even closer to me. He drives me backwards towards the wall of my bedroom and makes his way down to my neck with his lips. I start to breathe a little heavier as he fumbles with the zipper on the back of my dress.

     "What time is it?" I breathe, hoping we won't be too late to my own party.

     "Does it matter?" 

~

     By the time we walk through the doors of the club, I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. People I've never met from the label are swarming around me, congratulating me. I'm receiving hugs, high fives, and kisses on cheeks. Wes follows closely behind me as I make my way through the crowd, thanking everyone for coming. I grip his hand. 

     I look at the bar. I want a drink, just to take the edge off. My thoughts are interrupted by Wes's family greeting me. I say hello to his mother, father, and sister as they all give me hugs and congratulate me. I didn't expect Wes's family to be here, but I do really appreciate that they came. I stand and make small talk for a few minutes. We see them very often, so there isn't much to catch up on, but I still want to make the gesture before I make my way through the rest of the crowd.