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feel free to use as a starter!
guilt was quite the funny and unusual thing. max had experienced her fair share of it throughout her life, even if her sarcastic front was to pretend she had no remorse or regrets for the things she said and did. she definitely did. but even stranger was the survivor guilt. flashbacks and nightmares and visions of billy dying before her eyes over and over and over again. because of her. she could have ran to him, she could have helped him, she could have saved him. hell, if she was even the slightest bit a decent sister, she should have noticed something was wrong with him way before she did. this ate her alive with guilt. how she contributed to billy's death and just let him die. but somehow, it wasn't even the worst of it. worse than the survivor guilt was the guilt over grieving. max had hated billy. he made her life hell and he was a piece of shit. admitting that she had sometimes prayed for him to die? she had no right to grieve her stepbrother. to push her friends away in the name of the grief and wallow in self pity like she was. she felt guilty for surviving, yes, but she felt much worse for acting like this truly hurt her, when she didn't deserve to feel this grief.
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hi interrupting your regularly scheduled angst to pop this quick psa in! i'd like to give some partial credit to vicious [ ahoytrps] for a bit of how these starters / little oneshots are set up and organized! definitely trying my best to give them (and my entire smbq) their own spark, but also it's important to give credit where it is due and i definitely drew some inspiration from their amazing && beautiful smbq for steve :)
