MLP Transcripts

Dragon Quest

[digging sounds]Twilight Sparkle: C'mon, Fluttershy, it'll be fun!Fluttershy: There's nothing fun about dragons! Scary, yes! Fun, no!Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy, the great dragon migration happens only once in a generation! Do you really wanna pass up a chance like that?Fluttershy: Now that you put it that way, yes!Twilight Sparkle: Aw, Fluttershy, we just don't want you to miss out.Fluttershy: Miss out on what? Dragons? Big, scaly, fire-breathing dragons?Twilight Sparkle: Well... yeah!Fluttershy: Thanks, but... no thanks!Rainbow Dash: Look, Fluttershy, I watched that boring butterfly migration with you, so now it's your turn to watch the dragon migration with me! You owe me!Fluttershy: I... said... no!Rainbow Dash: Yeaagh! Ugh!Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]Fluttershy: [high-pitched growling] [whimpers]Rainbow Dash: Okay, I guess I'll let you off the hook this time.[]Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] I don't see any dragons.Applejack: [hushed] Me neither.Pinkie Pie: Me neither neither.Rainbow Dash: Shoot! You don't think we missed them, do you?Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, I don't think so. We're just a little early, and I'm glad we are. This way, we can watch every moment of the migration without bringing any unwanted attention to ourselves!Rarity: Yoo-hoo! Well?[squeaking][party horns]Rarity: What do you think? Am I the toast of the trench or what?Applejack: [hushed] You'll be toast alright, when the dragons see you parading around in that getup.Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] You look very nice, Rarity, but could you maybe look nice down here in the trench with us?Rarity: Nice is an understatement. I look fabulous! Who says camouflage has to be drab?Pinkie Pie: [hushed] Ahoy, maties! Dragons ho!Main cast: Oooh... ahhhh!Twilight Sparkle: Wow, amazing!Rainbow Dash: Pfft, pretty lame move. Is that all they've got?[dragon roaring]Applejack: [hushed] What do ya think of that 'move', Rainbow Dash? Still think they're lame?Rainbow Dash: [hushed] Uh, not so much. The word 'fierce' comes to mind.Rarity: [hushed] And 'formidable'.Pinkie Pie: [hushed] And 'super-duper scary'!Spike: Yeah. Us dragons are definitely a force to be reckoned with.Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Yeah, right, Spike. That's one of the scariest aprons I've ever seen!Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]Spike: What's wrong with wearing an apron? You won't be laughing when you spill blueberries all over your scales— feathers. That's one tough stain!Rainbow Dash: One tough stain against one lame dragon. [laughs]Rarity: You leave him alone, Rainbow Dash! Spike's style is unique. He doesn't have to look like other dragons.Twilight Sparkle: Or act like them.Rarity: My little Spikey-wikey is perfect the way he is.Spike: I don't act like other dragons?Pinkie Pie: Oh, not even close!Applejack: But why would you want to, Spike?Rarity: Yes. You've got something those dreadfully fierce dragons can only dream of.Spike: What's that?Rarity: The cutest widdle chubby cheeks! Ooooo!Spike: Cute?! Dragons aren't supposed to be cute! Right?Rarity: Oh, sweetie, you are turning the most delightful shade of red. It is most becoming.Spike: Rrrgh!Rarity: Oh, isn't he adorable when he waddles off in anger?Spike: Waddle?! Rrrrrggggh!Spike: What am I? Where am I from? Who am I supposed to be?Twilight Sparkle: Uuugh! I don't know! For the last time, Spike, you were given to me as an egg. I don't know who found you or where they found you.Spike: Seriously? That's all you know?Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Spike.Spike: That doesn't tell me anything about who I am! I need answers! I feel like I'm... I'm looking at a complete stranger. Oh!Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. Why don't we do some late-night research? See what we can find out.Spike: Really? You'd do that?Twilight Sparkle: Of course! I'm sure we can find something.Twilight Sparkle: Nothing. Nothing in this one either!Spike: Nothing at all about dragons? This is getting ridiculous!Twilight Sparkle: I know! It's hard to believe, but ponies know next to nothing about dragons. Apparently they're too rare and too scary to try to talk to or study!Spike: I wonder if dragons cry...Twilight Sparkle: Aw, Spike.Spike: It's okay, Twilight. I'm gonna discover who I am if it's the last thing I do!Rarity: Yoo-hoo!Rainbow Dash: Hey, guys!Spike: Waugh!Rarity: Good morning!Rainbow Dash: Ya wanna join us for breakfast?Twilight Sparkle: That sounds great. I'm famished.Spike: Count me out. I've gotta get an early start!Rarity: An early start?Spike: Yes! I'm going on a quest of self-discovery! I need to learn what it means to be a dragon! And the only way I'm gonna do that is to join the dragon migration!Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash: What?!?Rainbow Dash: Spike, that's nonsense talk! I know that you're a dragon, but those dragons mean business! They're big, and tough, and scary...Spike: And I'm small, and meek... and I like to wear aprons. See? This is exactly why I need to spend time with them.Rainbow Dash: All I'm saying is that you could get hurt.Rarity: Darling, this time I really do have to agree with Rainbow Dash. I don't want those big, ugly, nasty dragons to hurt one little scale on your cutesy-wutesy head!Spike: I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind.Rarity: Oh, uh, quick, do something! Stop him before it's too late!Spike: Ngh! Hey! Give it back!Twilight Sparkle: Hold it!Spike: Whoa!Rainbow Dash: Aaagh!Spike: Really?Rainbow Dash: Don't tell me you think he should go?Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Spike. I couldn't answer your questions. My books couldn't either. I understand why you want to look elsewhere. I truly believe you need to go on this quest. And we have no right to stop you.Rarity: I suppose not.Rainbow Dash: I still say you're nutty, but hey, I've done lots of nutty things.Rarity, Spike and Twilight Sparkle: We know.Rainbow Dash: [under her breath] Rrgh.Twilight Sparkle: Well then, I guess this is goodbye, Spike. We can't wait to hear about it when you return.Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we hope your trip–Twilight Sparkle: Quest.Rainbow Dash: –your quest answers some of your pesky "Who am I?" questions.Spike: Thanks, everypony. I know it will.Rarity: Goodbye, Spikey-wikey!Rainbow Dash: Go get 'em, big guy!Twilight Sparkle: We have faith in you!Rarity: [through her grin] We're following him, right?Twilight Sparkle: [through her grin] Of course.[wind blowing][rain pouring][dragon roaring][teacup clinking]Spike: Ugh!Spike: Nngh...[dragons roaring]Spike: [gulps][distant shouting]Spike: Alright, teenage dragons! Now that's more my speed. And size.Twilight Sparkle: [sounds of exertion]Rainbow Dash: I'm telling you, we'll never pass for a real dragon!Rarity: Oh, pish-posh! This costume is fabulous, one of my finer creations.Twilight Sparkle: Shh! [hushed] We'll never pass if they hear three voices coming out of one dragon! Now come on, let's go![dragons cheering]Spike: Um, excuse me? Uh, hi. I'm Spike.Fume: You sure your name is Spike and not Shrimp?![dragons laughing]Spike: No, it's Spike! I'm not, I mean, I'm sure about that..."Clump": You look more like a Peewee to me.[dragons laughing]Garble: Hey guys, c'mon, seriously. Leave him alone or he might fly away. That is, uh, if he had any wings! [laughs][dragons laughing]"Clump": You fly in on your mommy's back during the migration?Spike: Not exactly...Fume: No, no, can't you see baby Spike just hatched? I bet he still sucks his claw at night!Spike: No, I haven't sucked my claw in months![dragons laughing]Garble: Well, if you weren't just hatched, how come we haven't seen you around before?Spike: Oh, well, y'see, I live in Ponyville and–Garble: Hahaha! Ponyville? That explains it! I knew there was something vaguely pony-ish about you! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were part pony!Spike: Who, me? I'm not part pony! I'm all dragon, see? Raar!Garble: Or maybe you're a pony in a dragon costume.[dragons laughing]Fume: A pony in a dragon costume...! [laughs]Twilight Sparkle: [deep voice] Aheh... yeah... hilarious.Spike: Nnh, I am a real dragon!Garble: Oh, yeah? Prove it.Spike: Well... how?Garble: By acting like one! Who's up for a little belching contest?[dragons cheering]"Fizzle": [belches]Fume: [belches]"Clump": [belches][dragons cheering]"Clump": [coughs]Garble: You think you can beat that, Peewee?Spike: [gulps] [belches]Teenage dragons: Huh?Garble: From the desk of Princess Celestia. Dear Spike, please te– Ha! Get this, guys! Spike's pen-pals with a namby-pamby pony princess![dragons laughing]Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] How can he just throw that away?! That letter could be something important!Rainbow Dash: We can't worry about that now, Twilight. We're here to help Spike!Twilight Sparkle: I know, I know!Rainbow Dash: [strained noise]Twilight Sparkle: There's no reason to disrespect Princess Celestia that way!Garble: Maybe tail wrestling is more your speed.Spike: Uh...Teenage dragons: Yeah!Garble: Ready... go!Backdraft and Charcoal: [sounds of exertion]Garble: The winner![dragons cheering]Spike: Good old tail wrestling...Rarity: We can't let little Spikey-wikey wrestle one of them! He'll get clobbered!Twilight Sparkle: Let's go! [deep voice] I challenge Spike to a tail wrestle!Garble: Who's this weirdo?Fume: I think he's Crackle's cousin.Crackle: BWAAGH!Garble: Oh, that would explain it. Ready? Go!Spike: [sounds of exertion]Garble: Spike's the winner![dragons cheering]Garble: Nice going, little Spike! Maybe you are a dragon after all!Spike: Yeah! Maybe I am!Rarity: Rainbow Dash, I can't believe your silly plan actually worked. Ow.Spike: Alright, who's next?Garble: Getting a little cocky, huh? I like that. So how about you wrestle... him! Go!Spike: Whooooooooa!Garble: So, Spike, you haven't exactly proven yourself as a dragon yet, have you?Spike: But... I get an A for effort?Garble: Huh, maybe. Let's see how you do in this next contest.Spike: Whaaaaa! Oof! Wha! Oah! Oof![dragons laughing]Garble: King of the hoard![dragons cheering]Spike: This is my chance.Fume: [chuckling]Rainbow Dash: Not so fast!Twilight Sparkle: Oof![pinching noise]"Clump" and Garble: Whoa!Spike: King of the ho- whoa! Oof! Uh! Nuh! Oof!Garble: Looks like this is another fail for you, little Spike. Can't wait to watch you fail at lava cannonball, too.Spike: [gulps]Garble: Whoever makes the biggest lava splash is the ultimate dragon! Geronimo![splash]Spike: Nuh!Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Spike's on his own this time.[dragons cheering]"Clump": Cannonball!Spike: Guh!Garble: What's wrong, Spike? You afraid the lava will hurt your soft pony hide?[dragons laughing]Spike: [gulps] [screams][thwack]Teenage dragons: Oooh...Spike: Ugh... was I... that bad?Garble: No, dude, that was awesome! No pony could live through a belly flop like that! [chuckles] You're one tough little dragon.Teenage dragons: [general approval]Charcoal: [snorts]Garble: Spike, by belly flopping so hard, you have proven yourself worthy. I hereby dub you 'rookie dragon', and will now perform the initiation ritual. Rrrrgh. [chuckles] Now let's party dragon style![dragons cheering][dragon roars]Spike: Man, was that a great party.Garble: Great? Huh, maybe by Ponyville standards. Stick with us, Spike. We still got plenty to teach you about being a dragon.Spike: I'm not going anywhere. The way I feel right now, I could hang out with you guys forever.Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: Forever?!Spike: [sighs]Rarity: Spikey-wikey is going to stay with these awful dragons? Forever?Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, this is terrible!Rainbow Dash: I should've stopped him back at the library when I had the chance!Twilight Sparkle: No, Rainbow Dash, this is all my fault! I encouraged him to go!Garble: Y'know, Spike, I think you just might be ready for a real dragon raid.[dragons cheering]Garble: There's a nest full of phoenix eggs nearby, and we're gonna swipe 'em!"Clump": Aren't you totally psyched to go on this raid?Spike: Oh yeah, I'm excited. I mean, I'm psyched.Garble: Alright then. Let's fly!Spike: Uh, sorry, guys! I guess I'll meet you back here at the crater! After the whole raid thing's over? We'll totally hang then! Whoahoa!Rainbow Dash: Oh no, they took Spike! We've gotta go after them!Rarity: [screams]Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Rainbow Dash, stop! We can't fly!Rarity: And you're ruining my fabulous costume!Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, but we gotta help Spike!Twilight Sparkle: Well, we're just gonna have to hoof it!Garble: Alright, Spike. Since you're our rookie dragon, you get to lure the parents away from the nest.Spike: Heh... lucky me...Garble: Well go on, then!Spike: Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Phoenix! I was hoping I could have a word with you? Um, I'd, um, like to ask you some questions actually...Garble: [hushed] We haven't got all day, Spike!Spike: Hey, you bird brains! Come and get me![phoenix caws]Spike: [yelps]Garble: What the...[phoenix chicks chirping]Fume: The eggs have hatched."Clump": What do we do now?Garble: We take the hatchlings, of course![phoenix chicks screeching][phoenix chicks blowing raspberries]Garble: Get 'em!Spike: [continues yelping][phoenix chicks screeching]Garble: Ohh... get them![phoenixes screeching]Garble: [chuckles] Nnnghh...Teenage dragons: Ugh!Garble: Nnngh, they got away! I hate that![crash]Teenage dragons: Oof!Spike: Huh, what have we got here? What happened?Garble: They got away! Hey! You stole an egg?Spike: Uh...Garble: Well, I guess the raid wasn't a total waste after all."Clump" and Fume: [cheering]Garble: Nice going, Spike."Clump": Well, what are you waiting for, Spike? Smash it!Spike: Smash the egg?"Clump": Yeah!Fume: Yeah, throw it on the ground as hard as you can!Teenage dragons: Yeah! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!Spike: No! It's just a defenseless egg, like I was! And I'm not gonna let you hurt it!Garble: What did you say?Spike: I said no.Garble: No one says no to me. [growls]Rainbow Dash: Nopony's gonna lay a claw on him!Twilight Sparkle: That's right!Rarity: Fighting's not really my thing, I'm more into fashion, but I'll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head![dragons laughing]Garble: Ooh, scary, hehe! Spike, are these namby-pamby ponies your friends?Spike: Yes, they are. And they're better friends than you could ever be. Now, if you don't back off, you'll see what us ponies do when confronted by a huge group of jerky dragons.Garble: Oh, yeah? [snorts] What's that?Spike: Run away!Garble: [growls]Twilight Sparkle: Nyuh![crash]Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike and Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]Spike: Phew, that was a close one. Thanks, you guys.Twilight Sparkle: Of course. What are friends for?Spike: You're more than friends. You're my family.Rarity: [squeaks]Spike: Dear Princess Celestia,Seeing the great dragon migration made me wonder what it meant to be a dragon. But now I realize that who I am is not the same as what I am. I may have been born a dragon, but Equestria and my pony friends have taught me how to be kind, loyal, and true! I'm proud to call Ponyville my home, and to have my pony friends as my family.Yours truly,Spike[egg cracking][phoenix chick chirping]Spike: Aww. [chuckles] Hey, welcome to the family, Peewee! Stick with me. I've got plenty to teach you about being a pony.