MLP Transcripts

It's about time

Spike: [sighs] I made it for you, Rarity. Why, yes, it is an ice cream house. Chocolate fudge shingles... rocky road garage...[hoof-steps echoing]Spike: Huh? Twilight?Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Hi, Spike.Spike: It's the middle of the night! Why are you pacing like this?Twilight Sparkle: Frankly, I don't know how you can sleep at a time like this!Spike: Three A.M.?Twilight Sparkle: It's awful, it's horrible, it's tragic!Spike: Eh... I don't understand. What's wrong?Twilight Sparkle: Here. Now do you see what's wrong?Spike: We forgot to celebrate Arbor Day?Twilight Sparkle: No, the problem is I just finished planning my schedule for the month, but I forgot to leave time to plan for next month! Don't you see? There's no time in my schedule to put together another schedule! I could move my meeting with the Ponyville Hay Board to the following Tuesday, but then I have to reschedule my lunch with Pinkie Pie, and you know what a nightmare she is with scheduling. This is an absolute disaster. My whole year could be thrown off!Spike: And I woke up from an ice cream dream for this...[]Twilight Sparkle: Oh, my gosh, I think I did it! If I can find a way to read "The Art of Invisibility Spells" and "Thornhoof's Brief History of Canterlot" at the same time, that could leave me a half-hour scheduling window! Huh?[magic crackling, wind blowing]Twilight Sparkle: What's going on? [yelps]Future Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, you've got to listen to me!Twilight Sparkle: Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!Future Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!Twilight Sparkle: You're from the future?!Future Twilight Sparkle: That's right, now listen–Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you? The future must be awful.Future Twilight Sparkle: Please! I don't have much time!Twilight Sparkle: Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?Future Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I'm from next Tuesday morning, but that's not important right now!Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?Future Twilight Sparkle: The time spells are in the Canterlot archives. But that's not–Twilight Sparkle: Really? Where? I've never seen them.Future Twilight Sparkle: They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to–Twilight Sparkle: Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions– [muffled voice]Future Twilight Sparkle: I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't–[magic crackling]Twilight Sparkle: Future Twilight? Oh no! What was she trying to warn me about? Her clothes, her mane, that scar... Oh, what a mess she is! ...I mean, I am... or I will be... [gasps] She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future! [gasps]Pinkie Pie: C'mon, Fluttershy! The party can't start until the party supplies get there!Fluttershy: [grunts] Happy to... help... but... can I carry... the balloons next time?[crash]Fluttershy: Oh!Twilight Sparkle: Listen, everypony! I've got something really important to say!Ponies: [laughing]Twilight Sparkle: This is no laughing matter! We have a crisis on our hooves!Ponies: [gasping]Twilight Sparkle: I've just been visited by myself from the future!Ponies: [laughing]Twilight Sparkle: This isn't a joke! My future self tried to warn me about a horrible disaster that's going to occur sometime before next Tuesday morning!Applejack: What kind of disaster?Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I got sucked back into the future before I could explain!Pinkie Pie: Run for your liiiiiiiife!Rarity: What ever should we do, Twilight? How do we stop the disaster if we don't know what it is?Twilight Sparkle: We'll just have to work together to make sure we're safe. Rainbow Dash, you and the other Pegasi spread out over Equestria, and look for any kind of problem that could lead to a disaster, and I mean anything.Rainbow Dash: You got it!Twilight Sparkle: Everypony else–Pinkie Pie: [screaming] Anypony else wanna panic with me? No? [resumes screaming]Twilight Sparkle: Everypony else, time to disaster-proof Equestria![cement squelching][screw squeaking]Big McIntosh: Eeyup.[splash]Twilight Sparkle: Done, and done, and done. Applejack, what about the Everfree Forest?Applejack: The perimeter's clear.Twilight Sparkle: Great.Rainbow Dash: And my team gave the all clear from Fillydelphia to Las Pegasus.Twilight Sparkle: Excellent. Well, we've done everything on the list, but still... Future Twilight looked like she'd been through a horrible ordeal. I just have this nagging feeling we should be looking for something bigger than loose bolts and leaky pipes.[Cerberus roaring]Pinkie Pie: Okay, everypony, follow my lead. [screams]Ponies: [screaming]Spike: What is that thing?!Twilight Sparkle: That's Cerberus! He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus. But if he's here, then all the ancient evil creatures that have been imprisoned there could escape and destroy Equestria!Spike: Destroy Equestria?!Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Isn't it great? Hey, Cerberus! You look like you could use some obedience training! Magic obedience training![Cerberus roaring]Twilight Sparkle: Huh?Fluttershy: Who's the cute widdle three-headed dog?Twilight Sparkle: Wow, I knew you were good with animals, but this is amazing!Fluttershy: Aww, he's just a big furry guy who got out of his yard, that's all. Right, Cerberus? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?Pinkie Pie: [screaming]Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie.Pinkie Pie: [stops screaming] Yes, Twilight?Twilight Sparkle: Do you have a ball I can borrow?Pinkie Pie: I have balls stashed all over Ponyville, in case of ball emergency.Twilight Sparkle: [sing-song voice] Hey, Cerberus! Look what I have![Cerberus panting]Twilight Sparkle: I'll be back as soon as I've returned him to the gates of Tartarus. Once he's back at home, there'll be no disaster.[rooster crowing]Spike: [yawns] I wish Twilight would go on epic adventures more often. Best night's sleep I've had in weeks.[door opening and closing]Spike: Hey, Twilight. How'd it go with Cerberus?Twilight Sparkle: Great. I got him back before any of the evil creatures could escape.Spike: Hurrh... hu– [belches]Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Oh no!Spike: What's the big deal, it's just a 'lost dog' flyer. I guess the Princess hasn't heard we found Cerberus yet.Twilight Sparkle: It's not that, it's this!Spike: A paper cut? Come on, Twilight, you really need to toughen up. Just clean it out and you'll be fine.Twilight Sparkle: The cut's in the exact same spot as the scar on future Twilight's cheek! We haven't changed the future at all! The disaster is still coming!Twilight Sparkle: If the disaster wasn't caused by Cerberus getting loose, then what could it possibly be?Spike: [laughs] I dunno, but maybe you ought to give the pacing a rest. You've worn a groove into the floor!Twilight Sparkle: I don't have time for another one of your lectures, Spike! This is serious!Spike: My lectures?Twilight Sparkle: I did everything I could think of to change the future. But it didn't work. So maybe it's not what I do... Maybe it's what I don't do!Spike: Huh?Twilight Sparkle: If I stand right here and don't move a muscle until next Tuesday, I can't possibly do whatever it is that future Twilight wanted to warn me not to do!Spike: Really? So... no matter what happens, you're not gonna move a muscle, huh? Then maybe you won't mind if I... eat an entire tub of ice cream![ice cream splatting]Spike: Mmm! [muffled] So good! [eating noisily]Twilight Sparkle: [through gritted teeth] Spike, stop! Think of the stomach ache!Spike: [chuckles] Stomach ache, huh? That's future Spike's problem.[knocking]Rainbow Dash: Hey, Twilight, another Pegasus just got back from Baltimare with an all-clear and– [laughs] What's going on? Aren't you gonna stop him?Spike: She sure isn't! In fact, she's not gonna move 'til next Tuesday! She thinks it'll prevent the disaster from happening!Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Oh, this is too rich. [gasps] Hey, Twilight! There's a mouse right behind you!Rainbow Dash and Spike: [laughing]Spike: Wait, wait, wait, let me try! Whoa-oa– [belches][whoomph]Rainbow Dash: Oh no!Twilight Sparkle: What happened?Spike: I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! It was a total accident!Twilight Sparkle: Show me.Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... I'm not so sure that's a–Twilight Sparkle: Show me! Oh no! This is the same mane cut as future Twilight!Rainbow Dash: Y'know... it really doesn't look too bad...Twilight Sparkle: I don't care how it looks! It's just another sign that the future hasn't changed! Not doing anything didn't work either! Oh, I wish there was a way to know what was going to happen so I could stop it!Spike: You wanna see the future? I might know somepony who can help!Twilight Sparkle: What's this?Spike: It's Madame Pinkie's place.Twilight Sparkle: Madame Pinkie?Pinkie Pie: [spookily] Come... Enter the chamber of Madame Pinkie Pie... For the answers you seek, let us consult the mystical orb of fate's destiny... [normal] Do you like my mystical orb of fate's destiny? I just got it. Cool, huh?Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, uh... best one I've seen.Pinkie Pie: [spookily] Look deep into the crystal ball... for soon it will reveal all! Ah, yes, I see something... It is a vision of the future... I see... you, Twilight. You will get a really cool birthday present next year...Twilight Sparkle: Yes, and?Pinkie Pie: That's it.Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure?Pinkie Pie: Yep. Cool birthday present.Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I need your Pinkie Sense to tell me what the impending disaster is that future Twilight was trying to warn me about!Pinkie Pie: Oh, my fortunetelling has nothing to do with my Pinkie Sense, silly. It's only good for vague and immediate events.[crack]Pinkie Pie: Like that, see? Where did that even come from?Pinkie Pie: Lalalalalalala, lalalala... Gosh, I haven't seen Twilight since the flowerpot incident. Hope she still isn't mad. Uhhhh...[papers rustling]Twilight Sparkle: Off by point zero two from yesterday. Carry the fifteen... Negative azimuth on the fourteenth moon...Spike: Hey Pinkie.Pinkie Pie: Twilight's really serious about finding out about that cool birthday present, isn't she?Spike: Who cares? As long as I can keep eating ice cream. Sorry, future Spike.Pinkie Pie: [to Twilight] Are... you okay?Twilight Sparkle: Ah, Pinkie, I'm glad you're here. Can you help me recalibrate the apertures on the nine-and-quarter catadioptric telescopes?Pinkie Pie: Sure!Twilight Sparkle: So I was thinking, after I came to see Madame Pinkie and the flowerpot landed on my head—see the bandage? Just like the bandage from the future...Pinkie Pie: Nice!Twilight Sparkle: I had an epiphany after that flowerpot. Doing things didn't work, not doing things didn't work, and I couldn't predict the future either, so I only had one other choice. Monitor everything.Pinkie Pie: Makes sense to me!Twilight Sparkle: That way no matter what happens in the future, I'll be ready! I thought I saw something last night in the Horsehead Nebula, but after staring at it for three straight hours I realized, I was wrong!Pinkie Pie: Three hours? But when did you sleep?Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I didn't sleep. I haven't slept since future Twilight was here. There are only three days left until next Tuesday, I can sleep all I want after that!Spike: You've been awake too long, Twilight.Pinkie Pie: Yeah. Tuesday's not three days from now, Tuesday's tomorrow!Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Pinkie, did you finish recalibrating the apertures on the nine-and-quarter-inch catadioptric telescopes?Pinkie Pie: I have no idea!Twilight Sparkle: Ah! My eye!Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight, I have eye patches stashed all over Ponyville, in case of eye patch emergency. There! Now you look like a pirate! A sleepy pirate, with a really weird mane cut.Twilight Sparkle: The eye patch...! Another sign! Nearly all the signs have come true! I haven't done a thing to prevent the catastrophe! If Tuesday's tomorrow, and the disaster happens by Tuesday morning, then there's only one solution. I'll just have to... stop time![train chugging]Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Okay, the Canterlot archives are right over there. Let's move!Spike: Uhh... I don't think we need to sneak around, Twilight. It's not illegal to walk around Canterlot.Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Guard! C'mon, you guys! [exhales] That was close.Spike: I dunno why we have to wear these things, either.Pinkie Pie: Aren't we wearing them for fun?Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, there's nothing fun about this!Pinkie Pie: Oh... Are you sure?Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Focus, guys! The only way to prevent this disaster is to stop time! Time spells are kept in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing, the most secure section of the archives. That's why we're sneaking around!Pinkie Pie: Awesome! That sounds fun!Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, it's not fun!Pinkie Pie: Aww.[rustling][ripping sound]Pinkie Pie: I still don't understand how sneaking into the archives is gonna help her find out about her birthday present.Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] The coast is clear. Now slowly lift me into the window so we can– AH!Spike: [sighs] Let's get this over with.[splat]Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Okay, if my calculations are correct, the Star Swirl the Bearded wing should be right... here.Spike: Uh, Twilight?Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] What is it, Spike?Spike: Isn't this where we came in?Pinkie Pie: Cool! Can we climb in the window again? That was super fun!Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. It's supposed to be right here... How are we supposed to find it now?Pinkie Pie: Maybe we should ask somepony in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing?[orchestral twang][angelic choir]Twilight Sparkle: Huh. How'd I miss that? Look at all those priceless magic scrolls. There are more than I ever imagined!Pinkie Pie: Twilight, the guard!Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] What do we do, what do we do?!Guard: Hey, Twilight, haven't seen you in a while. Let me open that for ya.[gate squeaking]Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles nervously] Thanks!Twilight Sparkle: Oh no![splat]Spike: Oof!Pinkie Pie: Oh!Twilight Sparkle: Look! I look just like future Twilight... The last sign has come true!Pinkie Pie: And that's bad, right?Twilight Sparkle: Come on! It's almost Tuesday morning! The disaster could happen at any moment!Spike: But how do we find the time-stopping spell? There must be a million scrolls here!Twilight Sparkle: I. Don't. Know![birds singing]Spike: Twilight, it's over! It's officially Tuesday morning.Twilight Sparkle: Nnngh, no! Tuesday morning, the disaster! Incoming!Spike: I dunno, Twilight. I don't see any disasters. Looks like a pretty nice day.Princess Celestia: Good morning, Twilight. Love the new hairstyle. Well, happy Tuesday!Twilight Sparkle: Why isn't anypony surprised to see me sneaking around in here?! Is it possible there never was a disaster? That I've just been making myself frantic over nothing?!Spike: I don't get it. If future Twilight wasn't warning you about a disaster, then what was she trying to tell you?Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] I don't know. But I do know one thing. I look ridiculous.Spike and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]Spike: Yeah, you do!Twilight Sparkle: And it's all because I couldn't stop worrying and let the future handle itself! Well, not anymore. From now on, I'm gonna solve problems as they come, and stop worrying about every little thing!Spike: That's great! Does that mean there won't be any more late night pacing?Twilight Sparkle: No more late night pacing. If only I had learned this lesson a week ago, we wouldn't have had to go through all this.Pinkie Pie: Twilight, Twilight, I found something! It doesn't stop time, but it lets you go back in time. It says you can go back once, and it only lasts for a few moments. Does that help?Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you're a genius!Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!Twilight Sparkle: Now I can go back and tell past Twilight that she doesn't need to go berserk with worry about a disaster that's never gonna come![magic crackling]Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, you've got to listen to me!Past Twilight Sparkle: Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!Past Twilight Sparkle: You're from the future?!Twilight Sparkle: That's right, now listen–Past Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you? The future must be awful.Twilight Sparkle: Please! I don't have much time!Past Twilight Sparkle: Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I'm from next Tuesday morning, but that's not important right now!Past Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?Twilight Sparkle: The time spells are in the Canterlot archives. But that's not–Past Twilight Sparkle: Really? Where? I've never seen them.Twilight Sparkle: They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to–Past Twilight Sparkle: Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions– [muffled voice]Twilight Sparkle: I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't–[magic crackling]Twilight Sparkle: –waste your time... worrying... about... Ugh! I can't believe I just did that!Pinkie Pie: Did you tell her about the cool birthday present?Twilight Sparkle: Remember last week when future Twilight came to warn me about something? That was me trying to warn myself not to worry so much! Now I'm gonna spend the next week freaking out about a disaster that doesn't even exist! Ugh...Pinkie Pie: Ah, don't worry about it. It's past Twilight's problem now.Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Huh, I guess you're right, Pinkie.Spike: [stomach growls] Ohhh... my stomach... I, I think it's all that ice cream... I thought the stomach ache would be future Spike's problem... but now I am future Spike. Ohh...Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]Twilight Sparkle: Come on, future Spike. Let's get you home.