My Hockey Love

You're Not Ready

I loved having Andrew be around me. I loved it a lot. Something had definitely changed since he got kicked off the team. He was definitely not the same guy. I mean don't get me wrong, I loved Andrew, but he had changed. I had to help him. Its been two months since everything had happened.

I hopped in my truck and slammed the door. I was going into town to pick up some feed and trying not to fall asleep. I didn't sleep very well. It was storming all night and so we were up late trying to get the animals into the barn and the horses were all in a dither. The moments that I did get a chance to rest, I had weird dreams about Andrew and his hockey team. I parked my truck and went into the ranching store. I slapped down some money for the feed and went to help the guys to load it into the truck. I thanked them and hopped into the truck. I drove down the road until I passed the ice rink. In a snap decision, I turned my wheel to the right and entered the parking lot. Throwing my truck into park, I stormed into the coaches office. He was at his desk looking at a game plan.

"I would like to talk to you." I stated authoritatively. He looked up and gestured to the seat. I didn't sit. I was going to make this quick. "Andrew loves hockey so much. Ever since was left the team he has been a totally different person. He doesn't know what to do with his time anymore. He is so discouraged. Hockey was everything to him. I know that he brought this upon himself but still, he needs to be here practicing with you guys whenever he can. This is his whole life." I stopped and looked to see what the coach was thinking/doing.

"Listen. Jenna is it?" I nodded " I know that you care very much about Andrew. I understand that he was the best player on my team. I understand every angle of this situation. But he beat up one of his own. Not only that, he walked away from the biggest game in the season. We lost that game because of him. I would so love to have him on the team again, but I don't know how the boys will take it. It's up to them. Not me." Again. I nodded. I would talk to the boys. I stormed into the locker rooms. 

"Andrew needs this time. Will you take him back?" I pleaded. I avoided Ashton's eyes. The boys huddled together. 

"We would love to, but he abandoned us in the biggest game of the season. We will always be there for him as friends, but as teammates, I don't know if we can rely on him again," 

"Oh. Okay." I left the locker room. 

*** 

The next day I was ready to face Andrew. I hadn't slept at all last night. He sat down next to me on the couch and looked at me.

"Jenna? Are you okay." I shook my head.

"I love you. These two months have been great. But I don't think you're ready for this. In some weird way you resent me, because I made you lose the most important thing in your life. You need time to deal and process this all. Whether that's finding a way to get the boys to take you back or moving on and forgetting your hockey life. But I can tell you, you need to focus on you and not on me. I think we should take a break so you can work on you."

"No, that's not what I want. You're the only reason I made it through losing the most important thing in my life. And now I'm losing the next important thing. This is unbelievable," he got up and left. Grabbed his jacket off the couch and ran outside before his tears spilled over.