Thoughts of an Aspiring Gentleman

Pronouns (opinion)

Pronouns are important, even though they may not seem to be. It's a matter of respect and acknowledgement of a person's identity.

I've had people brush my request to be referred as "he" aside, like it was foolish, or unnecessary. It didn't really matter whether I was called a "she" or "he," I was still "Mikah." Which is true; but being transgender isn't simply changing the clothes you wear. It's coming to terms with the gender you always were but never knew you were. I used to be afraid to admit that I identified as male and now I can happily continue my life as a transman.

In some cases, I'm okay with someone calling me a "she." In these cases, it's my family who's known me for 16 years as a girl and never saw the confused boy trying to figure out who he was inside. I'm still trying to find myself as a human being and self-discovery crosses into several aspects of one's life.
There are also instances where I'm misgendered [which is referring to someone as the wrong gender or pronoun] upon accident; this is perfectly fine. Sometimes I may gently correct them out of courtesy, but I can never be angry with someone who is showing an effort to refer to me by the correct pronoun, "he."

Using the correct pronoun bridges a gap; it allows a transgender to feel comfortable in their own skin around the person they've "come out," to. I really appreciate when someone puts effort to refer to me as a "he," even if it's only on occasion or sometimes. That lets me know they're trying and that I can be fully myself around that person.

Having the pronoun of my gender is like celebrating that realization. When transgenders "transition," (the point in their lives where they express their true gender identity and embrace it), using pronouns is a part of that. To me, referring to myself as a "guy," or a "boy," is a celebration of what I've known but didn't know. Knowing myself as a boy has definitely improved my life and I know more of who I am than I did.

You can say it doesn't matter; you can say, "I'll just call you by your name." Often that's not the case - you can't keep avoiding a pronoun, at some point you have to use the word "he," or "she." I would hope you would put effort to refer to me as a "he," or even, "they."

Transition is a tedious process; you worry and feel insecure when you finally dress how you want to dress or that people think you're "weird." Eventually that all goes away and all that's left is pride. This is a part of who I am and I have struggled for years trying to understand these feelings, trying to be rid of them.... I've accepted the fact that I can't.

Now that I can finally cope with my gender dysphoria and use that as my strength as a proud transman, I can leave the girl I was in the past. Leave the girl that I was forcing myself to be alone in peace.

I can only hope people who know and love me can leave that girl in the past too.