Thoughts of an Aspiring Gentleman

Woah are you gayh? (Advice)

This may just be the most important gay Pride month in America; the Supreme Court might nearly, undoubtedly, rule in favor of gay marriage. Though LGBT+ people still suffer discrimination in many nations, I'm happy to say that the U.S has turned many leaves in favor of human equality in general.

Whenever I think of pride, I think of the endless struggles of countless people still oppressed for whatever reason. Social status. Biological sex. Even appearance.

With every good comes the bad; we can be proud, but where is the line where we're being ridiculous?

Show pride for who you are wherever you go; no matter what day, month, or year it is we should be proud of who we are and what we stand for.

Gay pride symbols are excellent. Haha I dare say, based on unanimous claim, that gay and straight sex is excellent too. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Attending a gay pride parade was a great experience for me. It was great to see student GSAs, churches, and companies show their support for LGBT+ equality. Children were there, too and it was all well.

Now there were some people who made it not so great; but that is everywhere you go, whether at school or at home. People will be perverse, inappropriate, "stupid." Thank goodness these were few and far between but still, their loudness could be heard.

The very end was tragic. As if it was the ultimate declaration of gay pride, a float tail ended the parade with male strippers with hardly any clothes. All the cars and floats that passed through were completely appropriate for the setting. This one wasn't.

The next day, the float was sensationalized as the figure of Gay Pride within the city we resided in. No, that wasn't the exact news report, but there were more pictures of that float circulating in media than there were of any of the others.

We have an issue at hand. My aunt hadn't attended the parade and assumed it was very adult; in reality, it really wasn't at all. The tone was kid-friendly but that float spoiled it.

Another example of this form of "gay pride" is how Virgin Airlines "celebrated" it. They asked their customers on their Twitter whether they were a top or bottom, and tagged #PrideMonth along with it.

This isn't how we celebrate LGBT+ people or diversity in general. We don't sensationalize the sexual intimacy between any two gay, or straight individuals.

For one, sex is a very trivial aspect of being gay/bi/straight. For example, when you were young, you naturally knew you were straight. You were attracted to the opposite gender. Even elementary school kids have crushes, but we wouldn't say they're "sexually attracted to men/women." I did, even, and I didn't even understand why but I just knew who I liked.

This attraction kids have is emotional, but also based on looks yes. But even as teenagers and adults, we don't look for qualities that make a good sex partner even if we were looking for the same gender when we do date. Sexual attraction isn't the key component to saying you're straight. Sexuality is complexed, and although sexual feelings trail along with it, the majority of it isn't about sex. I believe it's broader than that.

So why should we trivialize homosexuality or any sexuality to a simple sexual attraction? We don't search for spouses or soul mates this way.

Gay Pride month should focus on the positives; the love, compassion, and respect between two people in love. Sexuality needs to be complimented with the appreciation of physical attributes of the human body in a non-sexual, romantic, or even artistic perspective.

This world has all the sex it needs; finding out your sexuality doesn't rely solely on sexual attraction. Some people don't understand this and others do. I hear stories of how watching gay/lesbian porn was the "test" to prove one's sexuality. This is so, so wrong. Scientifically, this is a very inaccurate test (pm me for the link to the study lol). Plus, the porn industry is a destructive force itself that almost seems to innovate the oppression of people (for more info on statistics of porn-related sex trafficking, search Against the New Drug, very eye-opening website).

I hear this a lot on personal stories. Granted, many were young and naive when they did "test" their sexuality but some weren't so young.

For me, porn and sex had nothing to do with finding out my own preference. I (literally) had dreams, I had feelings, I had experiences like anyone else; and none of that involved sexual encounters at all. It truly was a self-discovery without the need of interference by external forces. Only you can know if you're gay, just like anything else. Only you know if you like tea or coffee more.

As of today, I identify as both gay and pansexual; to me, they have two connotations. Try not to follow the stereotypes and carve your own meaning within a word.

Don't let your insecurities blind your perspective of life like I did. Time will bring you the gift of knowing. And that's with anything.