All Of You

Emotions

Ken
Looking back on that month, I think I should have stored Amara in between my ribs so that they'd have to rip me open in order to take her away, but maybe her skin that had the color of molten gold was actually too precious and impossible for me to hold on. There's a place near my heart that's still patiently waiting for her, even though she's long gone.
I did try to hold on to her though. After she danced, and I kissed her, I took her for a picnic in a beautiful park nearby. I got her the foods she liked in a basket and a checkered tablecloth for us to sit on. My fairy goddess fit among the flowers like that field had been missing a puzzle piece for ages. She had a way of completing any scene she set her foot in.
"Why are you silent?"
How could I tell her that every time she opened her mouth, she broke me, then put me back together? How could I tell her that she was the only reason I was this vulnerable? How could I tell her she was what makes me weak, but also what made me want to be strong?
I sat behind her without saying a word, held on to her like she was the lifeline that kept me tethered in this life i'm living, because even though she'd been physically away for so long, she was still my anchor, and she'll always be. The silence that was around us enveloped us with the words we wouldn't dare say, but the one that hung the most was an imminent and inescapable "Goodbye".

Amara
I've always hated Ken's silence. It terrified me. The reason behind my fear was a story that takes me back almost a year.
Since Ken and I talked daily, it was a surprise that one day he'd simply not answer me, so I called again, with him rejecting my call, and texting that he was busy. I didn't think too much into it, until I saw an image he was tagged in on facebook. I didn't pay attention to all the people in the image, nor did I see where they were, for my eyes darted immediately to Ken's arm wrapped around his friend from college. As my fingers froze hovering over the screen, my emotions froze also. What was I supposed to feel? Nothing. It shouldn't be my concern, so I tried to act as if it wasn't my concern. That was when I had my first nervous breakdown, and when I bought the first pack of cigarettes. He was supposed to come save me, but he never did.
Two months later, when he stopped dating her I presume, he started talking to me again as if nothing had happened, so I pretended I hadn't spent a while in the hospital, and went on loving him as always. However, today's silence was different. He wasn't silent because he wanted to run away. On the contrary, it felt as if he was silent because he didn't even want the waves of our voices to come between us.

Ken
As I held Amara between my arms, I realized that I was terrified of how much I love her. I knew I had broken her before, and I wouldn't trust myself not to break her again. I'm an idiot, and she's a goddess. In what universe would I deserve her? Her friend had told me accidentally about Amara's hospital visit when I started dating that girl from college. I'm not about to pretend I wasn't into that girl. She was beautiful, smart, fun, and to be honest, I wanted any kind of relationship that didn't leave me crying every night, but two months in, I realized I was trying to change Flora into another version of Amara, so I told her that it was me, not her, and for once, that wasn't a lie a guy told a girl.