As I Am| A Chris Brown Story

Chapter Three-Damage

Essence's POV
"Momma. You'll never believe what happened to me. I made the dance team, mom." I squealed to my mom on FaceTime. My mom cheered with excitement. She's always so supportive of everything that I do. I was laying across my hotel bed while Jazlyn took a shower.

"So what are you going to do baby? You need to have a plan before signing any contract." I paused and gave my mom a pleading look. "What the hell Essence! Do not tell me you took the offer before thinking about what you are going to do about your job, your classes, where are you going to stay little girl? Did you think about any of that." She's right. I didn't plan anything because I honestly didn't think that he would pick me. I thought that this was just going to be a weekend getaway with my best friend and it would be a big "I told you so." Moment. I was so wrong. I pouted and listened to her scold me. This is so not me, I never do anything without planning my next move. I guess I got so carried away that I forgot about my life at home.

"I'm sorry Mama. I wasn't thinking. He lives in LA mom, I'm going to have to move there after the tour is over. I have a good three months. Until then, I'll save as much money as I can while touring. I won't splurge or anything. I have a few thousand dollars in my savings too. It's money I've been saving since high school. I know it was last minute but I think this would be a great opportunity for me. I can do this momma! This has always been my dream, to dance. Nursing was just a more realistic route for me. Dance is my passion mom, I've been doing it since I was three." My mom sighed and nodded her head. "Go for it baby. Just make a plan. How about you come home and for the next few days we will plan out everything. You know your father and I will help you until you get on your feet. Just be careful. Entertainers are not always what they seem. Don't fall for the trap. Do what you are paid to do and move along. It's not worth the heartache. You hear me girl?" I smiled at her as tears streamed down my face.

"Yes momma, I hear you. Rehearsal starts tomorrow but the tour doesn't start until next month. I should have a few days to come down and we can plan everything. I love you so much momma." She blew kisses at me before saying her goodbyes.

"But baby, one more thing." My mom said with a concerned look on her face. "Yes momma?"
"How the hell did O'Ryan allow you to audition for Chris Brown?" My heart dropped. Shit. I forgot all about my boyfriend. He's going to kill me. He'll never let me do it.

"I don't know Ma. We're not together right now. He..hit me again. I told him that I needed a break last week. He's back on campus and won't be home until next week. What the hell am I going to do?" I broke down. I'm so miserable with him, he would never let me go on tour with Chris. When he finds out I went to the audition without telling him, he's going to fuck me up.

"Well, you have to do what's best for you baby. You know I hate him but until you've had enough, you will continue to allow him to hurt you. One day, you will learn." My mom's words stuck with me the entire night. I've really gotten myself into some shit now.

Braxton: Good evening ladies! Please get a good night's rest and be on the stage, ready to rehearse at 7am sharp. Best of luck to you both.

I immediately began to feel knots in my stomach. How am I going to sleep now? "Are you okay?" Jazlyn came and sat beside me on the bed. I began to break down and she pulled me into a hug. "I just want to feel free. I don't want to have to do what's expected of me. I don't want to live my life the way my parents or my boyfriends wants me to live my life. How the hell am I supposed to tell O'Ryan that I am going on tour with Chris Brown?" I huffed in frustration. Dance has always been a way to cope with reality. I learned to tell my story with my body and have the audience understand me better than words could ever express.

"You can't keep letting that man walk all over you. He hits you, you leave him, he comes with a sob story and lies and you fall for it every time. When are you going to realize that you are worth so much more? You have to stand your ground or you will never make it anywhere in life. Make him respect you." I nodded and wiped my tears. "Or you could leave his ass and just be with Chris." She slyly added that part in there. I snickered and playfully punched her shoulder. "You would like that wouldn't you?" We laughed and binge watched Grey's Anatomy until the sun went down.