Perfect Love

Chapter 5

When the first light of dawn began creeping through the windows, Karina heard the door. Bon-Hwa had finally returned, and none too soon, because Karina had vowed internally to call the police and report him missing if he had not turned up. He walked slowly toward her; each step requiring will power.

"I'm glad you're back," Karina said finally to fill the silence.

Bon-Hwa nodded. "I realized that I'm not a quitter. I made a promise and I'm going to fulfill it the best I can," he said.

"Look, I was just shocked by your confession," Karina clarified. "I have been thinking about it all night, and I think we can still salvage this as long as you can promise me not to act on your feelings."

"I think I can do that," he replied. "Now that you know, maybe we can be more mindful about not making this harder for me than it already is."

"Deal," Karina said, holding up her hand for a high-five. With that awkwardness out in the open, they were finally able to move on. They decided to make breakfast together. They worked well as a team without needing a lot of verbal communication. They just seemed to sense each other's movements. Karina beat some eggs while Bon-Hwa heated a pan with butter. When the eggs were beaten, she handed them to him and he began to cook them slowly, over low heat to preserve the creamy texture of the eggs.

Later, as they sat in companionable silence, eating their eggs, they heard a knock on the door.

"It's probably my mom again," Karina said as she stood and walked to the door. She never bothered to look through the peephole, but rather just opened the door quickly, expecting to see her mother on the other side. What she saw, however, was decidedly not her mother, but G Dragon looking stylish, as always, in a pair of strategically ripped jeans and a Nike T-shirt emblazoned with their logo, "Just Do It." Karina gasped and stepped backward, leading G Dragon to believe she was inviting him in. He sauntered into her new home and looked about approvingly until he saw Bon-Hwa in the kitchen.

"I see you've moved on quickly enough," he said, staring at Bon-Hwa with contempt. "You know," he continued. "I was watching an interview yesterday in which you said the most fascinating thing." He paused to measure her reaction. Seeing no change in her face, he continued. "I heard you say you were pregnant. Now it seems to me that I might be the father," he posited. "And if I am, I want parental rights," he concluded.

"What would make you think you were the father?" Karina asked, hoping to not have to reveal the truth.

"Well, as I recall, we had a lot of sex." He looked at Bon-Hwa pointedly and repeated, "A lot of sex." Bon-Hwa did not respond, but merely began washing the dishes aggressively.

"I don't know," Karina replied. "I've tried to repress those memories," she quipped.

"Good one," G Dragon replied, clearly not amused. "You know this new attitude of yours is not cute," he said.

"I shouldn't have to be cute all the time to be loved," Karina said, in a moment of surprising clarity. She had never really articulated that sentiment before, but she realized that it was something that had been growing inside of her.

"Look, you're upset," G Dragon replied. "I get that. I'll admit I was wrong for dating Jennie while I was dating you," he said, in what was more a statement of fact than an apology.

"You didn't have any problem with your relationship with Jennie being public knowledge, but you kept me a secret from everyone. And I was so blinded by you that I let you do it," Karina shot back.

"Come on, Karina. Grow up," G Dragon countered. "You know that adult relationships are complex. I loved Jennie and I loved you at the same time. It happens, okay?"

"Actually, no, it's not okay," Karina replied. "Jennie was your girlfriend, and I was your side piece. And the thing I can't understand is why I let it happen. Why didn't I have more self-respect than to let you mess with me like that?" she asked rhetorically.

"Listen, I have no desire to relitigate the past, here," G Dragon replied. "I just want you to know that I'm going to demand a DNA test to see if I'm the father."

Karina looked at Bon-Hwa who had finished washing the dishes and was now watching her, trying to gauge if or when he should intervene. He nodded at Karina, attempting to give her strength through his eyes.

"You don't have to go through with the test," Karina answered, finally convinced of the impossibility of her ruse. "The baby is yours," she admitted. "But I would really appreciate you keeping quiet about it. For the sake of my family, I would prefer that they thought I got pregnant after I got married."

"Listen, I'm going to be a father. I'm super psyched about it. I don't know why you want me to let you continue lying to everyone in your life," he responded.

"It's easy for you to just be happy to be a dad, but I'm the one who is gonna get crucified in the press. Everyone's gonna call me a homewrecker for 'stealing' you from Jennie. I'm gonna be the slut that got pregnant to the wrong guy," she concluded. "Listen, you have weathered scandal after scandal and somehow managed to rise above them, but do you really think it will go that same for me? If you think women and men are treated the same by the media, you're out of your mind," she concluded.

"Well, I want parental rights," G Dragon stated again, ignoring what he considered to be another feminist rant.

"Do you really think I'm going to let my baby grow up around your drug-fueled parties, being kept awake until all hours of the night by your musician friends?" she asked, her voice rising in pitch and intensity.

"I wouldn't do drugs in front of the kid," G Dragon defended. "What kind of a person do you think I am?"

"Not the kind I want co-parenting my child," Karina replied.

"So, this guy is better than me?" G Dragon scoffed. "Who is this guy? He's a nobody. And you're saying you would pick him to raise the kid over his real father?"

"That's right," Karina said, suddenly filled with confidence. "I choose him," she said emphatically. "I'd choose him a hundred times over you."

G Dragon walked out the still-open door, turning to say, "This isn't over!" before slamming the door behind himself. Karina stood beside the door, visibly shaking.

Bon-Hwa approached her slowly, holding out his arms in a clear offer of help. Karina found herself accepting his embrace despite her misgivings. She just needed someone to remind her how to breathe again. G Dragon always brought out this intense vulnerability in her, making her feel like a small child in his presence.

"I looked up to Oppa so much," she whispered against Bon-Hwa's muscled chest. He stroked her hair gently, rocking her from side to side as he repeated the comforting words, "I know."

"It's just that I saw him as a kind of god. He was the king of K-pop in my mind, and the fact that he even looked my way seemed so unbelievable. I knew all about Jennie when I got involved with him, but I naively thought I could get him to love only me. That was dumb, wasn't it?" she asked, never expecting an answer.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I can picture lovely only you. Maybe G Dragon's the one with the problem, not you," he continued. "Maybe he's the crazy bastard who didn't know what he had."

Karina snuggled as close as she possibly could to Bon-Hwa, knowing, even as she did it, that it was unfair to him. But she needed what he was offering, unequivocal support and non-comparing love.