Perfect Love

Chapter 9

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."*

Karina set down her worn Bible on the bed beside her. She sighed heavily when she saw that she could no longer see her feet over her gigantic belly. A recent photo of her had leaked online, prompting a torrent of negative, fat-shaming comments. Her appearance was picked apart, from her weight to the dark circles under her eyes. It seemed as if no one had anything good to say about her these days. Well, not no one. There was one fan who always seemed to know the right thing to say.

Lover118 always posted lovely words of encouragement for her. Karina had written all of Lover's comments in a journal, and she read the words over and over again.

"Stop hating! Karina is the vessel for a miracle."

"Karina's body is doing its damn job! Leave her be!"

"When was the last time any of you haters listened to her voice? Let's talk about her abilities, not her abs!"

Lover118 was like a port in a storm of negativity. She often wondered about Lover's identity, but had failed, as of yet, to elicit any identifying information.

Karina heard a knock on her door. Bon-Hwa didn't open it, but merely spoke from the other side. "I have an appointment. I'll be back later," he said enigmatically.

Karina rose to her feet as quickly as she could, but by the time she got to the door, Bon-Hwa was already gone. Another day by herself. Just her and Baby. She sighed. He had been civil to her, but all of the former tenderness was gone from his tone now. He wasn't wrong. Every day, she realized more and more how deeply she had hurt him. He had been clear that he, now, intended to end the marriage after the contract expired. She didn't blame him, but recently, she had imagined what life might have been like with him. She had no doubt that he would have been a terrific father to her baby. But now, she was going to be stuck raising Baby alone, or worse, yet, surrendering custody to G Dragon.

There were so many moments when she had wanted to reach out and touch Bon-Hwa's face, to apologize for all the harm she had caused him. But his dead expression always stopped her in her tracks. It seemed as if he had closed his heart to her for good, and nothing she could say would change that now. She had made her bed. And now, she was going to have to lie in it.

She wondered where he had gone today. Every day seemed to bring a new excuse to leave the house. What she did not know was that in a small café in an unremarkable neighborhood in Seoul, Bon-Hwa had set an appointment with G Dragon.

As Bon-Hwa waited, he wondered if what he was about to do was even worth his time. But then, he scolded himself silently with the thought that, even if Karina would never love him, she deserved to live her life without G Dragon constantly interfering. He justified his actions by saying that he was doing this primarily for the baby, although he knew that was not entirely true.

G Dragon entered the café, causing the bell on the door to ring. He sauntered over to Bon-Hwa's table and flopped down in a chair, looking bored before their conversation could even begin.

"What's this about?" G Dragon demanded. "I'm a busy man."

"As am I," Bon-Hwa assured him.

"Oh, I can only imagine how busy you've been getting with Karina," he responded crassly.

Bon-Hwa buried the desire to punch his rival, and instead, got to the point of the meeting. "Drop the custody suit," he demanded calmly.

"Why should I?" G Dragon countered. "I want my paternal rights. I don't want some other man raising my kid," he complained.

"Listen, I'm going to get right to the crux of this issue," Bon-Hwa assured him. "You want parental rights, but your lifestyle is not conducive to raising a baby. So, I'm asking you to drop your suit. Let Karina raise this baby the way she wants it to be raised."

"See, you say this stuff, but I can't take you seriously," G Dragon dismissed the man across the table from him with a wave of his hand.

Bon-Hwa opened something on his phone, and he showed it to G Dragon. GD's eye twitched almost imperceptibly.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, not able to feign as much indifference as before.

"Karina's phone," Bon-Hwa replied. "And she's got plenty more where that came from."

Bon-Hwa closed out the window on his phone that showed G Dragon lying on the floor with a joint in his hand. GD had weathered drug scandals before, but this pic was new and would undoubtedly stir the pot yet again.

"Drop the suit. Karina is willing to offer you supervised visitation rights," Bon-Hwa said.

"Forget it," G Dragon. "I'm not interested in visiting my kid with strangers around."

Bon-Hwa nodded. "Well, that only proves that you are doing this to hurt Karina. It has nothing to do with wanting to spend time with your child." He stood and approached GD, standing toe-to-toe with him. His intense eyes showed that he was dead serious. "Drop the suit," he demanded as he threw money on the table to pay for their coffees. With that, he walked out of the café.

When he arrived at the house, Karina was waiting for him at the door.

"You're never going to believe this!" she gushed. "GD dropped the suit! I just got a call from my lawyer. Nobody seems to know why he dropped it. He just suddenly had a change of heart."

Bon-Hwa smiled wryly. He decided not to tell Karina what he had done. Despite the hurt he still carried because of that night of passion that they shared, he didn't want anything bad to happen to her or the baby. He was invested more than he wanted to be, but it was too late to turn back. When he had to walk away, he would. But he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

"Oh, and something else," Karina broke into his thoughts. "At the doctor's office, they confirmed my estimated due date is January 20th."

"Oh, that's good," Bon-Hwa replied. "Only two days away from my birthday," he whispered almost inaudibly.

"Really?" Karina replied. "Well, maybe Baby will be born on your birthday," she predicted.

"Is that something you would be happy about?" he asked her with that now-familiar sadness in his eyes.

"Of course, I would be happy about it," Karina responded. "You're like my best friend right now."

"Like your best friend," he repeated with no emotion. Karina didn't know what to say. She had apologized many times for that night. She had even considered softening her stance about their relationship, but she wasn't sure if it was too late. She had to admit that she missed the old Bon-Hwa with his easy smile and deep laugh.

She went to her room and opened her computer to see if Lover118 had posted anything new. Karina scrolled through dozens of hate posts until she found one from Lover118. It said simply, "Karina deserves to be loved as she is, imperfections and all. Now, all that she needs is to believe it for herself."

Karina let out a little gasp. "118?" she thought. "1/18. January 18th!" At that moment, she knew that he had not let the flame die out. He still loved her. There was still a chance for her after all.

· 1 John 4:18, New International Version