Perfect Love

Chapter 7

"Do you mind turning around?" Karina asked as Bon-Hwa stared at her in a daze.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," he said, turning quickly to let Karina change into the paper gown. When she had changed and lay down on the exam table with a paper sheet over her legs, Bon-Hwa finally turned around.

The ultrasound technician entered the room, sporting a pair of scrubs with penguins on them. "So, are we excited?" she asked them both.

"Absolutely!" Bon-Hwa answered. Karina merely smiled at the thought that he sounded more invested that she was. It wasn't that she didn't want the baby. It was just that it was hard having to leave aespa. Her bump was too big to hide anymore with creative costuming. Mr. Oh had informed her after their last concert that her hiatus was beginning immediately. She had spent the last three days just moping around the house in her bathrobe, unable to take an interest in anything.

But today, she had gotten dressed and was here now, doing her best to stay present to the experience of getting her first ultrasound.

"Do you guys want to know the sex?" the tech asked as she spread cold gel on Karina's belly.

"For sure!" Bon-Hwa spoke up.

"I don't know, Honey," Karina said, emphasizing the word "Honey" unnecessarily. "We haven't really talked about it," she reminded him.

"Yeah, but don't you want to go shopping and start planning for the baby?" he asked, hardly able to contain his enthusiasm.

The truth was, Karina wasn't interested in walking through endless stores, looking at basinets and onesies. She knew the reality of this baby was going to hit her eventually, but up until now, she had been too busy with aespa to really think much about it.

Did she want to know the sex? What if it was a boy? What if he looked like G Dragon? Her mind began to race to all the possibilities that seemed increasingly more distasteful the more she thought about it.

"No, it's fine," Bon-Hwa said. "If you want it to be a surprise, then we'll wait. No problem."

"Well, we'll have the information here at the office. You can always call in and find out if you change your mind," the tech offered. She began to run the sensor over Karina's belly. Karina was surprised by the amount of pressure the tech was putting on the sensor. In some spots, it was particularly uncomfortable, like over her bladder. She willed herself not to pee. She hated to admit it, but sometimes she felt a bit resentful about the fact that she was no longer certain of what her body would do in any given situation. She felt like she had been invaded by an alien, and part of her wanted her body back. But she scolded herself with the thought that she was hardly the first woman to ever suffer through a pregnancy and she certainly wouldn't be the last. When she saw how happy her mom and Bon-Hwa were, she felt guilty about her uncharitable thoughts toward the creature that lived in her belly.

"Oh, here we've got a nice straight spine," the tech said, moving the cursor on the screen close to the exemplary spine and snapping a picture with the mouse. "I'm just going to see if baby will roll over and let me see the sex." She pushed the sensor hard into the side of Karina's belly. "Baby's being shy," she said. She pushed against the other side of Karina's belly and the baby finally rolled over.

"Oh, there I got a good look," she said. Bon-Hwa squinted at the screen, but for the life of him, he couldn't see any evidence of the sex. The tech moved the sensor upward. "Oh, look, I'm going to get a good picture of the face for you to take home with you," she said as the baby's face came into view. It was amazing to see the tiny features of a unique little person.

"Looks like Baby has Daddy's nose," the tech observed, smiling at Bon-Hwa, who just smiled back excitedly, almost as if he had forgotten that this wasn't his baby.

"Ooo!" the tech squealed. "Looks like we've got a soccer player here. Baby just kicked really hard. I think Baby has had enough of my poking around," she theorized. "Here, Daddy," she said, taking Bon-Hwa's hand and placing it on Karina's belly. "Did you feel that?" she asked as Bon-Hwa's eyes grew wide.

"I did! Oh, my gosh! Baby kicked my hand! I felt it!" he gushed. "Did you feel that, Honey?" he asked Karina.

"Yes, it all happened inside of me," Karina replied dully.

When the tech had printed out the pictures and left the room, Bon-Hwa turned around again to let Karina get dressed.

"Do you want to go out for tteokbokki?" Bon-Hwa asked her.

"No, I just want to go home. I'm worn out," she replied.

When they arrived at the house, Karina did lie down. In fact, she didn't even get up for dinner. Bon-Hwa had taken her dinner to her room and force-fed her a few bites. After that, he left her alone. Eventually, Bon-Hwa had gone to bed himself.

He lay alone in the darkness and thought about Karina. They had shared a kiss, but nothing had happened since then. He reminded himself daily that Karina didn't see him as a husband at all. He knew he was getting in too deep. He wanted her to be his. He wanted the baby she carried to be his as well, but there was no way to go back in time and make it so. He silently vowed to start pulling away emotionally from both of them before it was too late. But just as he made that inner vow, he heard the door creak as it opened. He looked up, shocked to see Karina standing in a beam of moonlight that was streaming through the window.

"What's up?" he asked, rubbing his eyes to assure himself that it really was her standing by his bedside.

"Baby won't stop kicking and I can't sleep," Karina complained. "And I don't know why, but I'm feeling all weepy," she said just before she began to cry. The tears dripped silently off of her chin.

Bon-Hwa sat up in bed. "Come here," he said, extending his arms to her. Karina lay down on the bed with her back to him as sobs wracked her body. He sat beside her for a moment, not knowing what to do next. Eventually, he lay down beside her and spooned against her. Karina made no attempt to move. She let him wrap his left arm and left leg over her. He caressed her belly, and still, she made no objection.

"Baby," he called out toward her belly. "Mommy's tired. She wants to go to bed," he gently chided. "It's time to go sleepy," he cooed as he stroked Karina's belly. His ministrations had been meant to put the baby to sleep, but suddenly, Karina rolled over and faced him. His wide eyes took in the sight of her face, so close to his. He felt as if he couldn't breathe as he swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. He rested his hands on her hips as his labored breathing touched her face.

Karina knew when a man wanted her. This wasn't her first rodeo. And this man wanted her desperately. She felt it in her soul and against her leg. It felt good to be wanted, especially now, with her big belly and wider hips. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why he would want her in her current state, but he clearly did.

Karina kissed him first, but he immediately responded, passionately pulling her closer. He kissed down her neck and between her breasts. She wriggled out of her nightgown. He gasped when he saw her, a vision of womanhood. He trailed kisses down her bulging belly. He stopped at her belly button, licking her where the baby had just kicked. She took his hand and led it to her breast, which felt swollen under his touch.

"I can't believe this is happening," he whispered. And Karina let him finish what he had started as she reveled in the feeling of being wanted again.