The Mortal Instruments | Shadowhunters

02. Horrible Poetry and Unrequited Love

"And just why," Daphne said, exasperated, "do we have to do this again?"

"Because," Jace said. "Hodge said we had to check on the mundie and bring her back to the institute."

"No, Hodge said you had to go check on the mundie and bring her back." Daphne corrected. "He never said I had to suffer through this boring mission too."

"Ah," Jace said, "but as my parabatai, it is your duty to experience every horrible, heinous task I must suffer through with me. It was in the job description."

"I don't remember reading that part in the Shadowhunter's Codex," Daphne deadpanned.

"You should have read it more clearly then." Jace clicked his tongue. "How irresponsible of you."

"I would like to resign—"

"You know you can't exactly resign from being a parabatai. It's 'till death do we part', my love."

"Then I would like to politely and respectfully kill myself—"

"Shut up and just come along already," Jace groaned.

Daphne gave him a sour look. "Why don't you call Alec to go with you? Isabelle and I were going to go shopping together in the afternoon."

Jace rolled his eyes. "He refused to go. Something about not wanting to see the nasty mundie again—which is ridiculous, since we're supposed to be bringing her back, so he'll see her anyway."

Daphne stared. "Then why don't I just refuse as well?"

Jace blinked at her. "Uh, because then you wouldn't get the honor of spending time with yours truy?"

Daphne rolled her eyes. "I need you to give me reasons to go, not more incentive to stay away."

Jace scowled. "You fucking turd—"

"Take that back before I shove your face down the toilet and flush it." Daphne warned.

"—because you are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the honor of setting my eyes on, and the only way I could possibly survive such a tedious mission would be if I were graced with your presence the entire time." Jace said, with faux charm. "Is that better?"

"Much," Daphne snarked. "Fine, you self-imposing ass; I'll get changed, just give me five minutes. I'll meet you downstairs."

Jace blew the girl a kiss. "I knew you'd give in. Thanks, love."

Daphne let out a long suffering sigh. 

___

Indeed, the moment they reached their destination, Daphne decided she wanted to kill herself.

Hell, before they even got there, Daphne was already considering throwing herself off the nearest building available, and in New York there were plenty to choose from. Did it surprise her at all, that while on their way to the building where they knew Clary'd be (thanks to Downworlder sources), Jace got into a fight with a duck? Daphne didn't even know what the poor thing was doing around here, but the moment Jace saw it, he was determined to murder it.

"It followed me." He insisted, after Daphne barely managed to drag him away. "It realized I had been feeding it its brethren, and came to find me and seek revenge."

"By the Angel, Jace," Daphne groaned, "I will never understand you and your vendetta against ducks."

"Ducks are evil incarnate," Jace insisted. "And one day you will understand."

Daphne sighed. "You're going to be be the death of me one day, you irritating buffoon."

"Buffoon?" Jace gaped at her. "I am not a buffoon. An asshole, perhaps, but never a buffoon."