Frozen By Love (A Stoki Fic) {UNDER EDITING}

Chapter 18

Loki's POV

Love.

Did he just say he loves me?

I sputter for a moment, my guard completely down, his words not fully registering with my brain. "W-what?"

"Loki, I love you."

That word again. Love.

I'm so overwhelmed with this strange feeling encompassing my chest it feels like I'm going to explode. I drop Cap's hand, walking a few steps away, a small pace starting as I clutch my chest, unsure of what my body is going through.

I feel Steve at my side as I take the seat closest to me, needing to sit down, my chest pounding harder and harder, the rush of blood filling my ears, interferring with any other sound wave needing to enter my eardrum.

I put my head down in my lap, thinking this will help, but all it does is make more blood rush to my face, making me dizzy. I stand again, this time Steve and Thor are there by my side, offering voicelessly to help their mouths moving but no sound is being decoded by my brain.

Only one word swims in my brain.

Love.

Is this the feeling that clutches me now? Its' claws deep inside me, surpressing the beast inside? Forcing me to think, feel: things I haven't done in years since New York? Is this the cause of the nause surfacing from my stomach? Is this a different feelnig from last night?

"I thought I 'loved' him last night, but this...this feeling is truly it, isn't it?"

"What are you saying Loki? Is everything ok?" Steve's voice makes me blink, focusing on him, clicking the connection I must've said my last thought out loud.

I grit my teeth, attemtpnig to bring my defense back up, colden and steel myself again, but it won't work. I look at the heaven in this blond man's eyes, the ruffle of his soft sun kissed golden hair, the tight muscly olive skin, sweaty and rough against mine, his lips, promising me another tomorrow, a future, the gentleness in his touch from his fingertips, and I drop. I drop hard, the cold floor reaching my denim covered knees as I fall apart at this man's feet, Thor behind him, a background ornament.

My armor is gone.

I am defeated.

I am loved.

And,

I look up at Steve Rogers, Captain America, and I know I've found him. The beautiful petals of a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree, fully bloom in early spring, it's leaves free in the warming wind, holding on to winter for just a little longer. Like me, hodling on to the winter of hatred for years, never letting anyone inside my cage of ice, letting love freeze and die within me, knwoing nothing but hatred and cold for those who imprisoned me, for making me become what I had become.

But the warm air of Steve bristled my petals and made me bloom, warming my heart, unfreezing the frozen love deep witin my soul. I don't love this man because he can physically please me, but because he opened up my cage and let me bloom, and loving me all the way.

Seeing him hurt, hurt me farther than anyone could hurt me physically. Seeing him with labored breathing, his chest rising and fallnig so slowly, worried me, my heart ached for him to be ok. I waited by his side, my mind never wavering to finish the job or leave. I guess that's when I knew.

Warm tears begin to flood down my cheeks as the others flood in, checking in on the situation, but I don't care, my eyes are fully on Rogers as I go through this in my head.

So much to say, and so much time to say it.

For we'll have a lifetime together.

A smile plays on my lips condradicting my tears. I feel the skin around my eyes crinkling, the heat of memories with Steve flooding through my mind.

There is oh so much to say, more as I think of it.

But there's only one that needs to be said right now, no matter who is in the room with us. It's between us, a profoud bond, a tree to it's roots, and I'm no longer afraid to say it.

Thank you Steve. Thank you for actually taking the time to notice me, be with me and waste your good time on me. I'm glad I got to know you, and I hope to spend the rest of my life with you. You've not only freed me, but melted my frozen love.

All this translates to the only words that sputter from my mouth.

"I love you too."