It's Different Now (A Niall Horan story)

The pain ran the every inch in my body. Feeling my head and heart. Red covered my wrist dripping to the floor. More and more red filling the floor, but I kept going. Swipe after swipe. The razor growing deeper and deeper.

"Why isn't it working!?" I cried out still feeling the pain of living within me. I clasped in the red, it mixing with my tears. I laid there, feeling pain inside and out. It just wasn't working anymore. Cutting wasn't enough.

I tried to push myself off the chilling floor, but my arms fell limp failing me. So I just laid there in my own tears and blood hoping I could die. But I know that would be to good to be true.

**** FLASHBACK ****

I was sitting in the back of my moms car feeling the wind run through my straight blonde hair. It had finally grown out after the surgery just one year and a half ago. I looked in front of me seeing my mom and dad being cute as ever.

"I wish I could have a relation ship like y'all's." I signed, admiring both of their perfect faces.

Their laughter filed the car. "You know you will. Your gorgeous and all the boys see it." My mom continued. "You won't have any trouble finding a boyfriend soon. My mom winked at me before looking over to my dad. He's jaw was clenched.

"Lily won't have a boyfriend until she's thirty." My dad said sternly. My mom and I glanced at each other trying not to laugh because he was serious. We knew that was coming. He hates the fact that I will get married and be all grown up in the future.

"Oh hush." My mom shushed playfully hitting his shoulder. "Let's just get Llily to the hospital."

Once a month I have to go to the doctor to make sure I don't have another brain tumor. I haven't had sense the first.. But yet again it's only been two years.

I smiled at my mom feeling complete happiness. Sure I had a brain tumor at age 13 and live in stupid Jackson, Mississippi, but I had everything I could ask for. So I just need to be thank- a scream preced the air pulling out of deep thought. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. Suddenly I felt something jut into my side. I felt and heard cracking, snapping and screaming. The air was knocked out of my chest as something else hit the car.

I was stuck between two car doors. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath, I couldn't see. Everything was silent.

***

My eyes opened fluttering a bit. Everything was white, and the light was stinging my smokey blue eyes. I tried to get up, but nothing would move. The only thing my body did was hurt.

A sharp pain suddenly erupted though out my ribs causing me gasp. I couldn't breath. I couldn't move. The pain continued getting worse and with every sharp intake of breath I could take.

Finally I felt my self scream. Causing even more pain. "AHHHHH!" I screamed again hoping someone or something would help me. Although, I didn't even know where I was.

I heard a crash as the door flung open making a dent in the wall. Millions of people started flooding in. Some in scrubs and some had flashing cameras.

I gasped as something hit the foot of the bed. The pain started surging through my body once more.

"Get out!" A man with a deep voice screamed. Suddenly the sea of people was declining. Now only three men and me remained.

"Are you in pain?" Well no shit Sherlock. I couldn't speak so all I did was shake my head yes. His eyes were filled with worry and pity.

"Stop." I chocked out feeling unconscious begin to take over.

"What?" He asked confused but stunned.

"Stop.. L-looking at me like that." I whispered suddenly seeing only black.

***

I opened my eyes to the same bright light. But this time I felt nothing. No pain. I looked around sitting up slightly.

The deep voiced man came into the room smiling wildly.

"Hi. I'm doctor Jefferson, but you can call me Jack." He said sweetly. "I believed we stabilize you." He smiled while hanging me a glass of water. I took a sip of the cool smoothing water. It felt as if I hasn't drank anything for months. "Any pain?" He questioned looking down at his clipboard.

"No." I said with ease.

"Good, good." He mumbled checking a few things off.

"Yeah, uh what exactly happened?" I asked not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

"Well.." He trailed off looking away from me. "You were in a car wreck, you entire rib cage shattered and.. You.. Umm. You've been in a comma for 5 months."

*** End of flashback ***

I opened my eyes now only feeling the pain inside. I saw my ugly old fan hanging from the roof, looking as if its going to fall. I hated this room. I've been here in London for two years with my aunt and uncle. I had to move here when my parents died in that car wreck.

Suddenly I felt something wet fall on my small hand. I quickly whipped my face. I didn't even realized I was crying.

I got up quickly and rushed to the bathroom. I cluched the sink feeling dizzy. Sometimes I feel like an old lady. I can't get up to fast or ill get dizzy and I have to take two pills every morning.

I looked up at the mirror. I toke a few steps back upon seeing my self. Mascara was dripping all down my face, there was a tad bit of dried blood in my hair and on my face, my eyes were puffy and red. Need list to say, I look awful.

I quickly stripped, pulling off all my clothes piece by piece, and stepped into the warm shower water. Filling the droplets of water relaxed my muscles and calmed me. I scrubbed my face and my hair before stepping on the old towel I set down outside the shower. I quickly changed into my jeans and my favorite shirt. I had to go to work with Lexie today. We were radio broadcasters for the radio station BBC.

I reached for the door but It swung open hitting me right in the forehead sending me to the floor.