Prolog:

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(Tw for this: Heavy ab/se, cheating (framed badly), heavy age gaps, gasligthing, aphobia (acesexual here), eating disorder (i think its closest to anorexia?), pushing of eating disorder, not to sligthly implied lesbiphobia because my stupidness must project, s/xual stuffs implied, mentioned cycles of ab/se/self hatred

This as all my work was betaed by the best girlfriend ever, bleedingmaria )

For Alex this is supposed to be a nice date.

Its his 4th anniversary beeing married to his oh so lovely husband in nones opinion

James is not the guy anyone but Alex could spend any time beeing married to. Really,  its a wonder Alex did.

But James could never appretiate that. Of course not. Not a man like James.
He is too pathetic to do it. He cheats left and rigth when he can.

Still, Alex would forgive everything.
Always. It is sad to watch a guy like him end up with someone like James.

But despite Alex wishes to for once have a calm and nice date, rigth before ordering James has something to say.

"Will you really order number 83? Thats a lot food, you know? Didnt you gain weigth recently?"

Alex looks at him out of big green eyes. "I think you migth be rigth..."

"How abbout you order number 36? Thats a lot less"

Alex just nods.

He doesnt need to look to see it is the smallest available salad for the cheapest prize.

Alex truly doesnt mind. He never liked material things or have money spend on him.

James never would tho so that was that. Heck, he orderd the biggest most greasiest thing which was very expensive.

Alex smiles, sipping his water. He is pretty hungry, when informed James and him would go on a date he hadnt eaten all day. So he is pretty sad.

James ignores that fact. As soon as he yelled their orders at the waiter, he turned to Alex who started nervously playing with his gloves.

"You could be a little bit nicer to the waiter?"

"Why should I be? They get paid."

Alex wants to add something but decides against it

He sits up straigth, keeping his head down. He cant look into anyones eyes. But James are even more terrifying. Its like he wants to find a flaw. Always.

Whatever that may be. Be it the fact that his hair isnt healthy despite his best efforts, be it his allergy to contact lenses, which only worsend with blue ones, or his irrational anger or anxiety.

He hates it deep down. It makes him so angry. But he keeps his calm, keeps quiet.

Alex keeps saying to himself every marriage has its issues, unaware to any ab/se, minor or major. But then again: he never knew much else so how is he supposed to know how bad it got?

When their food arrives and James digs in, Alex tries to figure out how to eat the most mannerly. He finally settles on eating very slowly, James hates when he is done before him.

He will be called mean things. He does not like James tendency to name call. Rigthfully so.

"Ehem. I wanted to discuss importand matters."

Alex quickly swallowed the leaf in his mouth.

"Yes?" He tried to sound sligthly higher and sweeter since James kept remarking that he didnt like the hormones effect on his voice. Alex does, he prefers his voice like it does on them a lot.

"You should loosen up."

"What do you mean?"

"You are stuck up. You dont go to Clubs with me. You stay home all the time. You dont have real friends beyond that prude b/tch!"

"What?"

"You know the one. The man hating lesbian who also is too prude to get it on with anyone. Almost like you!"

Alex eyelid starts twitching. A part inside him wants to throw his water glass in James face. He was used to stupid comments abbout his asexuality but really? Abbout his best friend?

Bast also really does not hate men, she hates the horrible sucky old man her best friend married.

"Can you in public please not start such arguments?"

"No! I demand you are less stuck up."

"Did you just call me stuck up? I looked over all of your cheating and tried to ignore it, I literally did whatever you want of me! And that is not enough? Are you serious?" Alex snapped finally. "I also ignored how f/cking creepy you are and how we know each other just so you can betray me like this and try to in public embaress me?"

"You are rifth for once. I will get my restd packed anf you will calm the f/ck down!"

Alex in his rage threw the water in his glass at James but keeps seated while James yells at another service worker. Alex decides to tip them well. As they deserve, its a wonder they didnt throw him out.

James angrily leaves. Alex keeps sitting, and eats his salad. His mood was still down, however it drifted to self degradation because he blames himself for everything despite James beeing a horrible idiot.

Eventually he finishes his salad, pays their tab, noticing James drank quite a lot and left. In the dark he did not see much, only hearing police sirens going off.

Alex decided against further Action, his head hammering. Any buisness can be checked tomorow. He just goes home and flops in his bed, not caring to change

The next morning he decides to turn on the tv, with his coffee. The news were on so he decides to watch them. He doesnt know if james is crashing at one of his friends but Alex already knows he will beg James to take him back and he despises himself for it. Which is fully understandable due to the way James always does it. But then the news show something suprising.

"Famous actor and comidian James Parker died in a horrible car cra-"

Alex shuts the tv off. He doesnt even feel the tears drip down his face. Yes James was a toxic pieve of trash but he didnt realize it.

He just sees a text he got. "Just heard it, I am coming over"

(
Cliffhanger!!!!!

1. Do you enjoy Alex so far?
2. Any issues understanding things?
3. Would you like to ask anything abbout this? (Spoiler questions will be answerd vaguely)
4. Would you like soup?)

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