i don't need you; xiao

~five~

(Y/N)'s POV:

This feels strangely nostalgic. Have I done this with someone before?

A hand grew closer to me and removed a piece of hair that was dangling in front of my face that blocked my view. I was met with a pair of ocean eyes and warm smile, the hand still hovering over my face.

"Are you thinking about something girlie? Is it me, perhaps?" I shooed his hand away from me slightly chuckling.

"No, of someone else." I teased. He pouts a little before sadly nibbling on a cookie. I try my best to ignore the penetrating glare's Xiao gives us, but it bothers me to the point where Childe realizes I'm uncomfortable.

"Is everything okay? Do you want to be somewhere else?" He asks me as he stares at Zhongli and Xiao, who haven't moved from the same spot.

"No, it's fine. He'll follow us regardless of where we go." I respond back and glance at my watch. "It's about time we head in."

"Darn, I wish this would've lasted forever." He takes my hand and places a kiss on it. "You can go on, I will stay back and clean. I would take you back to class, but I'm afraid Xiao will try and kill me."

I stand up on both feet and see that he seems to refrain from grinning. He continues to look at Xiao, but I couldn't care less, because I'm confident Xiao can beat anyone to a pulp, just like he did with that last guy.

Wait, what?

A memory of a boy with purple hair causes my head to start throbbing. I wince and land on my knees, placing my hand on my forehead where the pain is at.

Childe notices and quickly comes to my aid, but Xiao, on the other hand, dashes towards me, and scoops me up in his arms. He glares at Childe before disappearing.

With each time he teleports, my head pounds even more. I see Xiao sparring with a purple-haired boy as I sit with...two girls who seem to be cheering him on. What sort of memory is this?

"Put...me down." With every wincing word that I say, the throbbing became worse, and the memory continued to play in my mind.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" He gently places me down to what seems to be the roof of the school. I rest my head on his lap and continue this hell of a headache. When the memory is finally over, the throbbing has stopped. I exhale the breath I was holding through the pain and tiredly look at Xiao. His face stayed expressionless, yet I could feel the concern draining from his body. I never understood why I could feel his emotions, like if I were the one feeling them.

"I'm fine. Let me rest here for a bit." I stare at the sky for a bit and then close my eyes, enjoying the small breeze of the wind blowing on my face. Whatever the hell that was, I will talk about it with Albedo, my cousin.

I remembered when I first met him when I was a toddler. He picked me up, arms fully extended and with a straight face he asked my father, "can I run some tests on her?" Father quickly snatched me away, a very well concerned expression plastered on his face. "No! Not my little child!"

I chuckle at the nostalgic video that played in my mind. But I do wonder why Father has changed. He's no longer the loving man he was years ago. And my mother? My mother was murdered. The one responsible for her murder has yet to be caught, but because her body was never discovered, they only reported her as missing.

Time will truly change, as my mother once told me, and you cannot avoid change, no matter how desperately you don't want it to.

I sigh at the final words my mother said before opening my eyes. I take a peek at Xiao who has his weight shifted onto his left arm and has his other resting on his knee. His tattoo. The one thing that really grabs my attention besides his majestic eyes.

I crawl towards him and gently trace the design with my finger. He stares at me before deciding to speak.

"What are you doing?" He grumbles under his breath. I continue to trace in silence before stopping at the tip of his shoulder.

"Do you enjoy living like this?" I ask. "Do you not wish to be free?"

"I'll never be free with this karmic debt that consumes me. This is nothing a mere human will understand."

But I can tell you're in pain.

I never told once told him this, but it feels as if something is trying to cut into my skin, like an animal trying to dig into flesh. It's only a small portion of my body, and it's in a random spot everyday. It annoys me to the point where either scratch it or bite at it. Is this what he feels too, or is it much worse?

I stare into his golden eyes, searching for some answer to relieve him of his debt, but all I see is something dark, something black, something that'll forever haunt him. My hand moves on its own and I find myself trying to caress his cheek. I imagined he'd flinch, but he stays still. Instead, it looks like he's waiting for my hand to meet his cheek because he leans in a little.

The bell rings and I flinch. My hand retracts inches away from his face and my eyes are glued to the ground. He stands up and shoves any lingering dust from his pants.

"It's time for class Lady (Y/N), let me escort you to class." He extends his hand and waits for my answer. And for once, I take his hand as if I don't want to be separated from him.

He picks me up and cradles me in his arms. I can feel his heartbeat pulsing rhythmically. A feeling of deja vu swarms my body, and I begin to feel tired. Has his touch always brought me this much comfort? I don't even remember why I didn't like Xiao staying by my side. In fact, I feel like most of my childhood memories were erased by someone, or something. It's a pain to try to remember, literally. My head feels like it'll explode whenever I think about my forgotten past, and I've talked to Albedo about it, but his answers are always short. Whatever, I guess.

When I no longer hear the sound of the wind blowing in my ear, I feel my legs touch the ground. We are outside our classroom and begin to head in when a group of people surround me and start talking over one another.

"How was it with Childe?!"

"God you are so lucky!"

"Is he really the gentlemen he is?"

"Can you set me up with him this time?!"

I noticed Xiao was pushed out of the circle and thought I was going to be stuck in a barrier with no way out, but a hand yanks me from the group surrounding me.

"Jeez, these people don't understand personal space. Are you alright?" Keqing asks as she scrubs off my uniform.

"Yeah, thank you." I respond. My reaction causes her to jerk her head back a little. I smile at her and find my way to my seat. I seem to enjoy thanking others, because I felt so warm inside.

But I wonder, what changed? Why did I become so stuck-up these last few years?