falling back in love with my ex

flashback

-this whole chapter is written as a flashback from the night that jessie and jacob broke up-
⚠️tw: suicide attempt, and talk about rape⚠️
-jessie's pov-
me and jacob have been fighting a lot recently. i hate that we are but there's nothing i can do about it. i don't wanna end things because i love him so fucking much but there's nothing else to do
"hey baby" jacob says walking into my apartment
"hi jacob" i say getting up and hugging him
"wanna order food for tonight" he says sitting in the couch
"i was actually going to go stay the night with bryce i'm sorry" i say and jacob looks sad
"no it's ok. sibling time i get it" he says smiling "but we do need to spend more time together" he says getting up kissing me with his hand on my ass
"jacob i am with you everyday" i say
"yeah i know i just love you. you know that right" he asks
"yeah i know that and i love you too. it's just we see each other everyday and-" he cuts me off
"and what your getting sick of me" he scoffs
"no jacob i never said that. i just wanna hang out with more people than you. i have other friends" i say
"oh so you wanna hang out with other people. so i can't be there" he says
"look jacob i know your protective and everything but one night without you won't kill me" i say with a slight laugh
"and how do i know you won't cheat. cuz you had a fine time cheating on your last boyfriend with me" he says madly
"ok jacob. cheating and breaking up before you kiss someone if different. i broke up with him before you kissed me" i say with a scoff
"yeah in the same fucking day. what am i just some rebound" he says
"HOLY FUCK JACOB HOW COULD YOU EVER SAY THAT. i was fucking there for you your entire break up. i was there making sure you were ok. i had feelings for you the second i saw you in the kitchen with bryce failing to make breakfast. how dare you ever fucking say that. jacob i remember a sweet boy who helped me when i got raped. he helped me get threw it. me ex fucking boyfriend raped me and you were there for me. i don't see the sweet boy you were anymore. instead i see the person asking me for sex every fucking second of the day. i see the person that thinks i will cheat because i don't like him. when it's fucking obvious that i love you. jacob if i didn't fucking love you i would be gone by now. i would have fucking left you" i say with tears running down my face and jacob just looks shocked
"well let me help you with that then" he says with his jaw clinched and with his fists in balls
"what do you mean" i say scared
"we are over. if you want this to end so badly let me do it for you" he yells and storms out. my heart breaks. the one person i love. the one person i would take a bullet for. is no longer mine. he's no longer the person i once knew. the sweet little boy is gone. i break down in tears. i scream. i punch things. i run to my bathroom and take the blades out of my razor. i wanted to feel pain. i wanted to die. nothing about this life treats me well. i wanna die i don't wanna be here. there's nothing to live for. i cut myself until i pass out from blood loss.

i wake up in a hospital with bryce and my mom sitting in chairs asleep. i look around and everything is fuzzy. i make a noise and my moms head shoots up.
"oh my god my baby" she says running her hands threw my hair "how could you ever do that to yourself" she asks
"me and jacob broke up. the one person i'm in love with dosnt love me back. i wanted to feel somthing i wanted to hurt myself so i did. i am in love with him and we got into a fight and he broke up with me. i don't wanna do this anymore. it feels like there is nothing to live for" i say answering her question
"oh baby. you have my and bryce to live for. i don't know what we would have done without you" my mom says in tears "we are so lucky that bryce notesed you didn't come to his apartment when you said you would so when he called you you didn't answer so he called jacob and he told bryce that you guys broke up.  so when bryce knocked on your apartment door you didn't answer so he went inside and saw the amount of blood on your bathroom floor and he saw you unconscious so he called the police then me. honey you are getting sent to a mental hospital to help with your depression so nothing like this happens ever again" my mom says in tears.
"when i saw your lifeless body on the floor it sent a shock threw my whole body it scared me to death. the thought of you gone. i couldn't do it. if you were dead i don't know what i would do with myself" bryce says crying
"i'm sorry" i say in tears
"oh baby" my mom says hugging me and bryce joins our hug. we are all crying then doctors come in
"i'm happy to see she's awake. normally someone who looses that much blood doesn't recover. i'm happy you did. but we will need to run some tests to make sure everything is ok the. oh guys will spend an hour with each other then she will need to come with us to the suicidal wing" the doctor says
-bryce's pov-
after they take jessie away i call jacob.
"hey man what's up" he says sounding fine
"jacob what the hell hoe did you break up with her" i ask
"we got into a fight and i ended it whats the deal" he asks
"she tried to fucking kill herself. she cut herself until she lost enough blood to make her go into shock. luckily i got there in time and saw her. she would have died" i yell
"w-what" jacob says sounding like he's in tears
"she tried to kill herself" then he hung up
"jacob pov-
"w-what" i say in tears. i did that.
"she tried to kill herself" then i hung up and cryed. i cryed for hours. i fucking did that. i fucking drove her to the point of suicide. i'm a fucking terrible person
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authors note: hey guys. this chapter is depressing af but that took place a year ago. when jessie and jacob broke up. so if you didn't see the warning that was a flashback to how they broke up and what happened