trigger warnings- Mentions of suicidal thoughts, stay safe xxx
Charlies POV
the car ride home was silent
I dont feel anything
I cant feel anything
I think.....
I think I might have died.
Nicks POV
I wonder whether Charlie is angry at me his face is contorted into a look of fear and confusion. the lady at the police station was nice and told me that Charlie will probably suffer some PTSD from the event I'm worried that he wont ever be able to cuddle me again or what if he sees me as ben he might be scared of me as well.
Charlies POV
I wait until we are home I walk inside nicks house and run up the stairs to his bathroom. I lock the door and throw up violently into the toilet, I can hear nick banging his fist against the door shouting for me to come out.
"I dont want to live anymore" my voice is horse and quite almost a whisper but the silence on the other side of the door is deadening I know what ive just done to nick. I unlock the door and nick is sat at the bathroom door crying silently into his knees my heart shatters into pieces he looks up and without thinking throws his arms around me and we sit and cry I think we stay like that for a while just sitting and crying softly into each others shoulders nick looks up at me "please dont leave" I the pain in his voice is hurting every inch of my skin. "you would only be letting Ben win if you left" nicks voice is louder this time stronger he pulls up onto his knees "you will never get to see us get married you will never get to move into apartments together we wouldn't get another movie night" I cry "Charlie please dont leave" my body convulses as the tears spill out of my eyes "I wont leave nick, I wont leave" he scoops me up and place me softly on his bed and that is how we spend the rest of the night my head laying in his arms my hair probably tickling his nose.
