Hard Rock and Heartache

Mend Me

    It would rain. I would be stuck walking down a damn isolated, backwoods highway, in the rain. My arms crossed over my chest in an attempt to shield myself, shivering against the cold downpour. Though there was really no point, my dark red long sleeve shirt was clinging to my skin, my jeans were soaked from top to bottom, and I swore I felt a pool of water sloshing around in each of my vans. But thankfully, my issues and everything that had just happened kept my mind preoccupied enough that it didn't entirely bother me.

    It wasn't till my feet hit a crunch of asphalt did I look up and realized where I had subconsciously walked to. Before me was the sign that read Forest Hills Trailer Park, and my heart clenched with need and a rush of emotions, tears instantly falling again as I turned into the driveway and quickly walked toward the only person I wanted to see right now.

    My feet were heavy with exhaustion when I walked up Eddie's trailer steps, approaching the door with a soft knock at first. But I could hear music playing loudly on the other side, meaning it was unlikely he heard me. Wiping tears or rainwater, I wasn't sure which, away from my face, I pounded harder on the door and this time I could tell, he'd heard.

    The music turned down and I could hear thudding feet coming my way as I impatiently waited, trembling and yet somehow lacking all feeling in my body. And with an inconvenienced, "What?" I was face to face with him again, and it only made the tears fall faster.

    All the color in Eddie's face vanished at the sight of me, soaked all the way through, my cheeks and eyes red and puffy from crying. "I'm sorry..." I exhaled harshly, my sobbing turning manic when I realized how things must look. "Steve, he..."

    "What did he do?" Eddie's eyes darkened, cutting me off when his hands reached out to take my arms into a soft, protective hold when it seemed I might collapse. "Did he hurt you?"

    "No, it was my fault... I hurt him and..." I choked on my words, looking back at him where I watched the sympathy fill his brown eyes. I knew it was entirely my fault, not Steve's, and yet, I stood here, uncomfortable in my own skin at the very thought of the ways he touched me and how wrong it all felt. And though he did nothing to deserve the outcome that occurred, I knew he was probably blaming himself right this moment.

    "Let's get you inside..." Eddie said soothingly, wrapping me in his arms before leading me into the warmth of his trailer.

    I followed quietly, my body feeling numb yet freezing, soaking wet, and Eddie instantly jumped into action, leading me down the hallway and into his bathroom. "Your lips are blue. Jesus, you're so cold..." He said worriedly, and when I looked up at my reflection, I saw how ghostly I looked aside from the redness in my eyes.

     Behind me, the shower started, filling the room with loud white noise of the water spraying against the wall. Eddie just stood there, silently watching me, testing the warmth until steam was rolling out from behind the curtains. "There ya go,'' Eddie spoke so gently as he walked toward the door, "You take a shower, get warm, I'll be out here when you're finished."

    "Eddie..." I said, almost too urgently, my voice not my own as I turned toward him to grab his arm desperate not to be alone. He looked at me with alarm, at first, before it melted into understanding at the expression on my face. "Stay with me, please." He swallowed, taking in a long breath before nodding. "Yeah, whatever you need."

    Giving a quick, weak smile that didn't quite reach my eyes, I nodded too, lifting my hands while I began undoing the buttons on my shirt. One at a time, until I was able to undress, struggling out of my jeans with his help until I stood there in only my underwear. Though I didn't feel exposed or vulnerable with him. I felt comfortable and safe.