Part 1 triggers mention of suicide and drugs
Memoir of a young girl.
~ The Boy who Never Healed.
The boy from the wrong side of the tracks, your heart got broken, so you rebelled. Your mother passed, your father gassed on drugs, had no care for anything else. The next thing you knew, you found yourself, sitting in a jail cell. Phoning home, calling friends - not a single help in sight - you went back into thinking about your life choices.
You contemplated, you compartmentalized your life, and in a stunning silence you realised. You lost yourself in the vertigo, spinning in an endless storm, unmovable. Caught on the high of the popularity, you immersed so deep into the stereotypes that you lost your way. The girl you crushed with your cruel actions and barbed words, stood outside making bail, your unlikely savior. While the clique you followed laughed, giggling and chuckling over the news of your arrest and posting about it on their socials.
You did not get better, but she helped as much as she could, and you tried, tried and failed - over and over again. You, who were lost in the pressure, this mimeomia - uncontrollable and unshakeable, let go. At home, where laughter used to ring echoed a haunting tone. One chair went missing from the dining table, one voice went adrift from your life forever. Every time the lights went out in your home, so did you. Your world started shifting, its axis overturned and your heart came undone. You abused drugs, trampled over your enemies and shattered the soul of the girl who saved you.
Blinded, you were drunk on the rage like a clown on a fool's stage. You got into the atrocities of this age unable to escape. Falling deeper and deeper in the abyss, you lost the love of the saving angel. You spiralled some more, deeper and deeper into the dark when you lost her. Your world stopped, breath stalled and your eyes lost their light with every punch life threw your way. You fell into the violence, you instigated the brawls and let the pain come to you.
When you got hit, you felt at peace. When you drank and vaped, you forgot the dumpster fire your life was ending up to be. When you cut your arms, you felt more brave, and you went closer and closer to your wrists everyday. You never realized, though, that she waited with abated breath, the girl you pushed away. She was watching over you as your guardian angel waiting for you to heal. You never did.
