Treasured

41)

Trigger Warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Mentions rape
Suicidal/thoughts relating to death

Wren

I felt cold as an iceberg, as I looked into two of the coldest, cruelest eyes I'd ever seen. I knew he was to return, I had braced for it, tried to set my mind to stone to prepare for it. But it's like watching a beast of prey hunt. It's mesmerizing, fearful, paralyzing to the mind, the body, but never to the soul. My mind just froze, not able to turn over a single thought, going blank and white from sheer terror. My body was still, not daring to blink, to move, to breathe lest the terrible beast strike out.

But my heart? Oh, it was galloping in my chest, thundering into my throat, and pulsating in my temples. The fear, the raw anguish, the helpless terror that ripped through me like a shard of glass, it would stop at nothing. I felt every single barrier drop, every defense I had flatten, and every willful idea dissolve as if it had never been there.

And he? The beast of prey, the monster that haunted me? He smiled.

"Mother, sisters," Richard acknowledged them politely, coming to sit by my chair in the cooler shade of the room.

"Richard," Aunt Matilda responded, ringing for tea. "How was your journey?"

"Uneventful," Richard curtly said. "And it was dreadfully warm."

"And what of your business," Celia inquired, picking out some of her stitching in her latest sewing project. "Did it come about as pleasantly as expected?"

"Why, yes. I daresay it did," Richard nodded. "And Mother, how are things here since I left?"

"Progressing quite well," Aunt Matilda smiled happily.

I wanted nothing more than to leave the room, but I didn't dare. If I were to leave alone, then Richard would find his way to me and take whatever he wished from me. I could not bear to endure such things again. It would shatter my soul. My very heart would shrivel and wilt until it was nought but dust.

How I wished to have one of the boys with me. Branson would protect me, I knew he would. Cee-Cee would fly into a rage. Sal and Robin would hug me tight and warm me from the inside out. And Fletcher would mend my broken heart until it fluttered to life. June would simply be there in whatever capacity I needed. And Eddie...

I swallowed a sob, and blinked. The tea had arrived.

~

I crept up the cold staircase, ignoring my throbbing leg, and trying to numb my thoughts as well. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I wanted to hide behind a wall of ice, void of pain, of suffering, and the absence of love.

Maria was waiting for me in my room, and had a fresh set of clothes set out for dinner. She was just the person I needed to see after the horrid hour I had just spent.

She gave me a soft smile, and proceeded to chat in that pleasant, mothering way of hers, thawing my heart just a bit. I almost felt serene, if it weren't for the niggling worry at the back of my mind.

"Here, dearie, sit for a minute! You look pale and pained," Maria fretted, going about the room in a bustle of skirts and words. "Dinner isn't for another two hours, so you'll be able to sit for a bit and calm yourself."

I sat as I was instructed, but Maria insisted that a footstool was put beneath my feet. She ordered me to take my shoes and hose off, and then she rolled my short pants above the knee and rubbed a soothing salve into the muscles. Dr. Farre had been kind enough to give me two tins of the ointment before I left, and explained it would warm the tendons and muscles and make the limb less stiff and sore, although the nerves would not be helped. Still, it took the edge off and reduced the difficulty of walking although it was far from a cure.