Double Trouble

10

James

Today was the day for couples therapy and I was more nervous then ever, I never really looked into the way that I act or deal with things but I know with this I've got to be brutally honest and fully allow myself to open up to a complete stranger
I know Riley was also extremely nervous too since she was being awfully quiet this morning meaning that she's in her head, I tried reassuring her last night but it's clear that my words didn't have an affect on her overthinking mind

"You alright Ri?" I ask softly as the twins are busy eating some breakfast whilst watching the tv
"I'm just really worried to be honest" Riley sighs
"So am I but we both need to do this don't we" I reply causing Riley to nod her head
"I know we do James I'm just worried that this won't work and it'll just show us we aren't compatible" Riley says
"No no we've been together for so long we just need to bring back what we did at the beginning, we've both run ourselves to the max which is why we've been the way we have been" I explain

"Yeah I get that it's just scary you never know what's going to happens do you" Riley says making me nod my head
"Who's coming to watch them again?" I ask
"Shelby is, she's got the day off so she can watch them for as long as we need! I'm not sure how long it's going to be so it's a good thing Shelby isn't busy today" Riley explains
"That is good, we won't have to worry about coming back quickly then either" James

—

We've been sat in the waiting area of this beige office for what felt like hours but in reality it was only for 10 minutes as we waited for the therapist and the longer we waited the more Riley would fiddle with her fingers staring at anything other then a pair of eyes
I mean I was the same, I've memorised the tall green plant and I know that it's got exactly 42 leaves it would of been 43 but it looks like something has been biting small bites out of them so I decided it doesn't count

"Riley and James?" A woman calls out peeking out of the doorway I'm assuming this woman is the therapist since the door is the only door in this room
We both stand up in unison, Riley takes the lead since she was the closest to the room we were walking into.
"My names Hayley Rogers, I'll be your therapist for as long as you decide to do this for" Hayley says with a slight chuckle at the end
We both introduce ourselves before taking a seat on the soft grey two seater sofa opposite Hayley who sits herself down onto the grey chair

Thankfully this room wasn't beige it had a tiny bit more of colour giving my eyes a treat from where we just was, this room was grey, muted pink and some white along with a touch of black here and there
It certainly didn't match the waiting room, in my opinion it should be the same throughout but that's just me and I'm most likely wrong in that, like most things

"So what we do at the beginning of this is just informing everybody about the issues you both face in your relationship and then we'll go through everything from the beginning to now and try and see what we can do to improve things, so we'll start with you Riley" Hayley softly says as her pen rests against her hand reading ti scribble down anything that Riley says

"Well over the last few years James has been extremely distant, he doesn't bother with her children and he's always giving me the cold shoulder, I'm never involved or invited anywhere or given a break at all. Since he's come back from his last work trip he has been better and things are going well but I'm worried it won't last" Riley says
I didn't realise that's how she felt about things.. have I truly been that bad? I suppose I have been but I didn't mean that

"Now James what about you?" Hayley asks
"For me it's that most days when I used to come home from work Riley would always be in a bad mood, we never used to really talk much or see each other a lot but before the twins we were so good.. I just don't know what happened" I say
"Well having children with someone is very stressful and by the sounds of it you both just needed to have more breaks so you can relax and neither of you prioritised the other which is also important as well. I'll like to know how long you've been together?" Hayley asks

"We used to date back in school so that would of been almost 2 years and then we broke up and I moved away but when I came back to town we bumped into each other and started seeing each other again and that's been almost 3 years now" Riley explains
"And how was the relationship back in school like?" Hayley questions
"That was really good, we had our ups and downs of course but we always worked things out, we were both very happy. There was drama though but that was mainly other people trying to mess with us and cause issues with us but we always stuck together" I say looking over at Riley who was staring up with me with her big hazel eyes and a small smile upon her dark red lips

"So why did you guys break up? If things were going so well what happened?" Hayley asks causing Riley to sigh
"I walked in on James cheating" Riley says
"Oh I see, is that still a common thing for you James?" Hayley asks with a raised eyebrow
"No it wasn't ever a common thing for me, I don't know why I did it to be honest but we were at a party and 2 girls came onto me.. the same 2 girls who caused us both so much drama, I just don't know why I did it" I say

"Has it happened since?" Hayley questions
"There was something the other week from his work trip, a girl had come into James and James never did anything but the girl assumed James was single since I'm not posted or mentioned, James will compliment this girl and undress her with his eyes too" Riley says
"So what is lacking in this relationship for you then James? You wouldn't be looking at girls that way if you felt completely settled within this relationship" Hayley replies

I didn't have an answer for her though, I'm not missing anything within my relationship with Riley.. there was no explanation on why I do those types of things, I'm just simply an asshole and Riley was too good for me
I should of changed for Riley years ago but why was I so oblivious to all of this? How could I not notice this?