Three

37 1 0
                                    

Y/N: I'm bored.
Namcha: Wanna commit first degree murder?
Y/N: Sure!
Irin, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Jin down!!

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Namcha: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Y/N: Killed without hesitation.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Irin: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Y/N: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Irin:
Irin: What?
Y/N: I need to feed my Neopets!

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Namcha: Did you know that you can't actually breathe when you're smiling?
Irin: *Smiles*
Namcha: Haha, gotcha! I just wanted to make you smile!
Irin: Motherfcker.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: Your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. "Here comes the warmth slab" It thinks.
Namcha: Wrong. It thinks "God, I hope this dipsht doesn't spill beans all over me again. Who the fck eats beans in bed?"

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Inn: I regret nothing!!!
Y/N: I regret everything!!!

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Namtan: Are you laughing at that video of Inn and Irin fighting?
Y/N: No.
Y/N: I'm laughing at the comments.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Irin: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: Have I ever told you that you cook well?
Namcha: Awww, no, you haven't!
Y/N: So why do you keep cooking?

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Inn: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Namcha: How would you like your coffee?
Irin: As dark as my soul.
Namcha: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Namcha: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Y/N: All I drank was Redbull!
Namcha: How many?
Y/N: Eighteen.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Jin: *angrily presses Y/N against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Y/N: ...
Y/N: Are we about to kiss-

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Inn: We need to distract these guys.
Y/N: Leave it to me.
Y/N: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Namcha & Jin: *immediately begin arguing*

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Irin: So what do you have planned for the future?
Y/N: Lunch.
Irin: No, like long term.
Y/N: Oh...um, dinner?

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: I owe you one.
Namcha: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Cop: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas?!
Namcha: You said I had one phone call.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Irin: wHat?
Y/N: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Irin: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: Everytime I move, I crunch like popcorn.
Namcha, singing: And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly!

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Namtan: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Y/N: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Namcha: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Irin: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Inn: *flips the board*

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Y/N: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?
Namcha: They're golden retrievers, love. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Incorrect Devil Sister and Astrophile QuotesWhere stories live. Discover now