Sugar-Coating it (Diabetic Hinata)

Cry

Hinata sat in the counsellor's office, digging his left fingernails into his right hand.

"So Shoyo, how are you today?" The counsellor asked. Hinata was at his local hospital, after being sent by his mother. He wasn't upset he was there, he knew he probably needed it after all the shit that'd happened to him, but he hated how awkward it felt. He had so much to say, but had no idea how to express any of it.

"Oh, um, fine." He said quietly, not looking up at the woman.

"So, your mum phoned us up the other day..." She continued, but Hinata wasn't really listening, he was more focused on ripping off the top layer of skin from his hands. "She says you like volleyball, huh?"

"Mhm.."

"It's good that you're keeping active, doing fun sports!" Hinata still didn't look up. "You're quite short though, but I'm sure you're still great."

"I can jump..."

"Of course you can. From what I've heard, you've been doing a few matches?"

"Yeah, uhm, we have one more left before the end of the preliminaries.." Hinata felt too uncomfortable for even volleyball to bring his mood up.

"But let's talk about some of the things that have happened at those matches." Hinata held back his annoyance, he knew that he was going to have to talk about this.

"Yeah... some stuff happened.."

"Can you tell me what stuff..?"

"Um, there was this fight, because this.. this guy thought that I didn't... I wasn't.." Hinata dug his thumb nail deeper into his palm. "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" She asked.

"I don't know..."

"Can you keep telling me about the fight?"

Hinata held still for a moment, before continuing. "Well, there was this guy...and, and he said something about me not having... not being good enough for volleyball, that I should leave it to people like him, who don't have diabetes... and he threw me to the floor and he..." Hinata slid his finger down the thin scar running down his face. "Did this..."

"That sounds really difficult." Hinata didn't respond. Instead he stared down at his shoes, keeping a straight face. His hands were clammy, and his head was pounding. "How did that affect you?"

"Um.. it.." Hinata hesitated for a few moments. "It made it more difficult for me to enjoy volleyball."

The councillor frowned at him for a moment. "And that wasn't all that happened with that fight, is it?"

"No.." Hinata whispered. "Uh, a clip of it went online... and a lot of people saw it and.. I don't know a lot of people j-just... I sometimes think that they all.." Trembling, Hinata began choking on his words.. "S-so many people... Like, thousands of people had opinions on- opinions on one of the worst things that's ever... like ever happened to me..." that was as far as Hinata could go, before slow tears started running down his face.

The woman frowned at him. "Do you want to keep talking, or is it too much?"

"I don't.. I don't know.."

"I don't mind if you can't talk right now, you can leave if you'd like.."

"Okay then.."

The councillor brought in Hinata's mother, and discussed what Hinata had said with her, but he remained zoned out, not wanting to hear what they had to say. When his mother stood up, Hinata followed silently, giving a quick wave to the lady. He treaded to the car, staring at the pavement. When he sat down in the passenger seat, his mother turned to him.

"I'm sorry it was so difficult for you to talk about..." She said.

"Not your fault." He whispered, only just audible.

"Well, at least you can go home and have a rest now."

"Mhm.."

Hinata sat in silence, listening to the car run along the road.

Timeskip

Kageyama and Hinata sat perched on a bench. Practice had finished long before, but they stayed just to talk. Kageyama's attitude towards Hinata had changed lately. He still saw Hinata as an overly energetic idiot, but he had Kageyama's respect for putting up with all the shit people had been giving him lately.

"So... um, did therapy go okay...?" He asked.

"Mm. Not really." Hinata murmured.

"Why?"

"I don't know, it just wasn't good.."

"Oh.." Kageyama tried to hide his disappointment. He missed how happy Hinata used to be.

"I feel like I can't talk... I can't talk about how I'm feeling to anyone."

"Really? Try telling me."

"I don't think you could understand.."

"Then show me how to understand." Kageyama looked down at Hinata, hoping what he was about to say wouldn't hurt too much.

"I just... I feel..." Hinata inhaled, preparing for an emotional breakdown. "Like, ever since I've been diagnosed, I just feel so separate from everyone else, and I don't know how to to deal with that, because I can't be independent, and I need other people to function, but I feel like- like I can't rely on other people, like, Oikawa!? Because he was never lovely, I'll admit, but it's like his whole attitude towards me changed the second he found out I have this whole diabetes thing, which I can't deal with, because it makes me think that... that..." Kageyama looked down at Hinata in shock, his eyes were wet, though he wasn't crying. After a few deep breaths, Hinata continued "And I don't even know if volleyball is w-worth it, because it's putting me through so much shit, and I-"

Kageyama wrapped his arms around Hinata's shoulders. "You want to give up volleyball!?" Hinata stayed silent. "You can't give up volleyball, just because some assholes are being awful to you. See, Karma's getting them back, Oikawa broke his knee, the Wakutani captain got expelled from his school.. if you quit now, you're just proving their point." Hinata, at this point, was sobbing.

"Why am I dealing with this? No one else is, it's just me doing stupid shit just to live and I don't want to.. I don't fucking want to.." Hinata was clearly exhausted, and was reaching the point where he was too tired to cry.

"We'll sort this out. I'll be here every day, and I'll watch you get better at volleyball, so we can play more. I don't want you to quit. Setting to anyone else isn't the same." Hinata didn't give a verbal response, but Kageyama knew his words had an impact. "I'll take you home." He said, standing up.

The walk home was silent, but better than either of them being alone. Kageyama knocked on the door of Hinata's house, and his mother promptly answered. "You've been doing volleyball late, boys..." but her talking stopped when she saw Shoyo's tear stained face. She pulled him into her arms, and thanked Kageyama for bringing him home. When Kageyama left, Mrs. Hinata looked down at Shoyo.

"What happened, Love?"

"I don't know." Hinata whispered hoarsely.

"Did you get into a fight with Kageyama?" Hinata's eyes were stained red by tears, and his throat felt tight.

"No..." He paused for a few moments. "Mum, can I just go to bed?"

"What about dinner?"

"No thanks.. I feel kind of sick.." He said, walking up the stairs.

"Alright love just..." Mrs. Hinata looked up the stairs, to see her son had already vanished from sight. "Call me if you need anything..." She whispered.

A/N Is anyone still reading this or is it just dead?