Voyage 2002

"That's why I hugged him. I thought he was so brave." April 2002 / Frida

She didn't know exactly what it was, but it tasted okay. In a container in Benny's freezer, she had found something that was edible. Some mixture of potato and all kinds of vegetables. Not really something Benny would make, in her opinion, but whatever. She didn't care who made it. It was tasty and it was nutritious.

She hadn't even bothered to put it on a plate. It had been a long time since she had eaten so indifferently, but she had had a crazy day.

The night before they had finally talked, Benny and her. Around twelve o'clock she had arrived at Cirkus. Görel had gone to get Benny and she immediately started crying when she saw him. They went to his house, argued in his hallway. Into the kitchen, because he was nearly crying and wanted to drink water.

Right in her face: "The fact that you're tripping like this has to do with yourself. With your feelings and you know it!"

It took her a while to digest that comment.

His other comment, "The only thing is that you've noticed that I might want to sleep with you, yes. So?" had also taken a while.

Everything was out in the open now. His desire, her desire, her fear.

"Are you convinced of the fact that we will never be more than friends?"

She hadn't been able to answer that question. At three o'clock in the morning, she still hadn't figured it out. After she had explained it to him in a hundred different ways and in an extraordinarily incoherent manner, he had answered in her place. "I think I know enough..." They had left it at that. Then he had taken her suitcase out of the car and they had grabbed something to eat. At four in the morning. As if they were back in the seventies after a wild night out. The first time she opened her eyes, after she had fallen asleep in the early morning, across the guest bed with her clothes still on, it was two o'clock. She had heard Benny rumbling downstairs and had walked over to him.

"Wow, do you look good or what!" he had said, laughing.

"Shut it! Is there any coffee?"

"I thought you were into the healthy stuff, these days?"

"Don't preach."

Grinning, he had gone to pour a cup of coffee. She listened to the sounds he made, with her head between her hands and her elbows on the table. Moments later, he came to her with a tray with strawberries, a banana and a cup of coffee with milk and sugar.

"Thank you, dear," she had heard herself mutter.

"Did you get some sleep, Friddle?"

"Yes, but it didn't help much."

"It was quite intense last night, but I'm glad we talked it out."

"Me too."

She had eaten something, then taken a shower and slung her phone on the charger. When it had come back to life, she saw that Agnetha had called several times and sent her a text message.

"Hey Friddle, you're alive, right? I'm going to Björn now for the contrbct. Call me tomorrow? Love you. X, A."

Well, well, Agge was going to Björn to talk about the contract! It sounded like Björny had been his smart old self.... She had texted Agnetha back, "Hi A, I am still alive and we will definitely call tomorrow. I've got a lot to tell you. Have fun tonight and love u 2!"

Then she had plopped back down on the bed and had fallen asleep again. When she had woken up for the second time that day, Benny was already gone. He had written her a note. "Am off to Cirkus. See you tonight or tomorrow morning (if you're already asleep). Thanks for all your candor, Frida. Love."