Voyage 2002

She burst out laughing. "Let me guess, Princess Fältskog?" May 2002 / Agnetha

With a jolt she sat up straight. Where the fuck was she! Bewildered, she looked around and slowly everything dawned on her.

London.

Asshole. "Well, Agnetha, do you enjoy playing the big star? The four of you have discovered Autotune at last? Or are Björn and Benny making Frida sing and using you as a decoy?" Too perplexed to say anything. She thought Björn had come in and had just said 'Hi sweetheart'. To Asshole... Where had he come from? How on earth had he found her? He walked up to her and pressed his lips to hers. With all the strength she had in her, she pushed him away. He fell against the dresser, but grabbed her shoulders, causing her to lose balance as well.

"Bitch!" He grabbed her. Her back against his chest. One hand on her mouth, the other at the hem of her sweatpants. The dresser banged against the wall as she tried to break free. She could hardly breathe, but she bit him. Hard. He was overwhelmed and let go of her. With all the power she had, she screamed. He lashed out and she kicked him, but he was stronger. She tried to turn around to get the hand off her mouth which he clamped around it again. A second later, Björn yanked him off her and pretty much rammed him to oblivion. She looked beside her. Björn was asleep. She had laid down beside him because she was scared and cold.

But now she was warm.

Hot even.

Hot and sweaty.

Her heart was pounding in her throat and she noted that she was breathing wrong. Nerves were coursing through her bloodstream. She had to get out of bed to drink water or so. She stood up and stretched, needed to feel her muscles to stay calm. As if her constrictor had been waiting for it... as fast as lightning it coiled around her neck. She couldn't breathe. Pure, paralyzing panic. She had to get out of here! She ran to her own room, but it didn't help. Hyperventilation and hot flashes. She had to go outside. Somewhere she found a pair of jeans. A bit away she saw a sweater. A cap and sunglasses. Training shoes on and off she went. She flew out of the suite, the  snake at her heels like a jaguar.

"I don't even feel that unsafe," she had said to Björn.

Such bullshit! She ran through the shared room and whizzed past a security guard who tried to stop her. He called her back. "Anjetta, Anjetta, where are you going?"

To Africa, okay?!

If she waited a little longer, this guy would make her answer to him.... Down the stairs. Step after step after step, in a rhythm. A few floors down she ran through the hallways to the other staircase. The guy probably expected her to be a dumb blonde and take one straight route. Faster, faster. Down the main hall. The night porter looked up. The security guard had also arrived by now and called her again. She raced outside. "Anjetta!" She dove into the bushes and sat still until he gave up. Then she started walking again. No idea where to, but she pretty much ran through the streets. Hunted like a prey animal. She was sweating and her heartbeat was popping through everything. If she knew how to breathe, she would have done it, but all she could do was gasp for air and keep going. At the hotel, later, she would go to her room. She'd go home tomorrow, book a ticket. Sweden, Stockholm, Ekerö. Her own bed. No commitments, no ABBA. She should never have agreed to it. To Björn she should have said no as well, for that matter. She couldn't possibly live up to what his expectations. She wanted to get back into her cocoon. Alone with herself, her children and her grandchild.

After a while, she looked around. For her idea, she had been walking for hours and she didn't know where she was anymore. Fuck it. Back again. A crossroad. If she wasn't mistaken, she had come from the left. As sweat broke out on her again and tears fogged up her sunglasses, blurring her view almost completely, she walked through the neighborhood as if by touch. Somewhere she was convinced she had to turn right, but that turned out to be wrong and then she had to go back the whole bit. She had no socks in her sneakers and she felt the skin of her feet burning. She walked and walked and just when she thought she might be able to get a cab somewhere, she discovered she didn't have her handbag with her. Everything was in the hotel. Her money and her phone. She had really thought that through nicely.... The street was quiet except for a bunch of young people. They stood outside with cans of beer in their hands. One was puking. She looked away, to the right and suddenly recognized the street that led to the hotel.