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CAS WAS WORRIED ABOUT LUKE, plain and simple. Hoth wasn't exactly a habitable planet unless you had proper means of keeping yourself warm for a night, and Luke hadn't had his with him. Furthermore, he wouldn't have just disappeared; if he was okay, he would have contacted them, and they had her to receive any means of communication from him.
Her heart sank in her chest as the shield doors clanked shut. She wasn't worried about Han; he was too stubborn to die, as she told Chewbacca and Leia moments earlier, and he had brought his tent with him. Her thoughts—as they often did—remained on Luke. Hoth was a world of nothingness, looking for Luke would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. If Han couldn't find him in time...
She didn't want to think about it, but it wasn't as if she could just flick a switch and turn her brain off for the night. She would surely continue to think about the former farmboy she had grown so attached to over the past few years, the one she was to protect at all costs, the one who never failed to make her feel worthy.
Cas thought about how much he had grown as a person in those three years since she tackled him on the Death Star. Once a boy who had never seen anything without sand on it, he had done an incredible job of adapting to his surroundings. Not only did he adapt, but he also wanted to be there, which was admirable; he wanted to fight, to take down the Empire and help the Rebellion. He wanted to command, to put down roots in the organization...he wanted to stick around her, she realized, just as she wanted to stick around him.
But he hadn't changed, and that was a good thing as far as Cas was concerned. He was still that whiny, impatient boy from Tatooine who wasn't afraid to admit he wasn't the best at everything. He was still that sweet, caring, attentive farmhand from the Outer Rim who was constantly in awe of her and everything she did. He was still learning, still growing, but he was a natural at it at the same time. He was a natural leader and a genuine person and she loved—no, admired, not loved—him for that.
As random as they may seem, those were the thoughts running through Cas's head as she lay upon her cot that night, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. She and Luke, they had a good thing going, a good friendship. Even when she pushed herself away, he didn't resent her for it, and while it would have been easier if he had, the part of her that actually exhibited emotions was grateful. She had never gotten along with someone so well and naturally before, though Leia was a close second. Talking to and being with him just felt so comfortable.
Not to mention he could very well be the galaxy's savior and, in Cas's mind, her responsibility to keep safe. He couldn't just die lost on a shitty ice planet.
Cas drifted in and out of sleep that night, and from the sound across the room each time she woke she knew Leia was in the same boat. They each had their own reasons and neither felt too inclined to discuss them openly, but they were worried about people they cared deeply about.
They both got up early that next morning, wordlessly preparing themselves for what would surely be a day of worrying and feeling utterly helpless. Rogue Squadron would be heading out in about an hour when the sun was high enough to cast a light over the snow-covered planet. In the meantime, there was nothing anyone could do except hope like hell for the best but prepare themselves for the worst.
Cas wanted to reassure Leia, just as Leia wanted to reassure Cas, but neither of them had a clue what to say and they hated it. Usually when one of them was down, the other had something in them to lift their spirits, but it just so happened that they were both down, neither feeling all too optimistic.
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into the chaos! → luke skywalker ✓
Fanfic"they had exchanged so many words over the past few years, but their silent conversations were what always held the most meaning"