Exhausted

Chapter III

I stepped away from the fence slowly, with my mouth open, tears in my eyes and my heart racing so fast, I felt like I was going to faint. "What's going on, why was he here, why would he do this, and WHY THE HELL WAS JAKE WORKING WITH HIM?!!!!" I had so many questions running through my head as I'm backing up, that I forgot to pay attention to where I was going. I bumped into a large box that knocked over some paint cans. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

The voice came from my dad. I grabbed my bike and hid behind the wall near the trash. I heard all of the boys come out of the yard. "Look around, see if you see anyone. If you do, bring them to me!" While behind the wall I held my breath, I didn't want them to even get the slightest sniff of my breath. I was so scared, my bladder was weakening, causing a trickle of pee to escape my pants and into my socks. "Yuck", I thought, "I have to get out of here." I stayed for only a moment longer. Once they couldn't find me, I crept out of the alley with my bike.
The entire ride home I cried, I laughed, I screamed, and I would stop and looked around wherever I was and try and put things together. "WHAT THE HELL?!!!"

I yelled so loud that it attracted the attention of Ms. Carolyn, the old lady that lived in the little red house with plants in the window. She came to her door, "you want to watch your mouth honey?"o I know your parents raised you better than that!" "Humph, my parents, do I even know who they are anymore?" My mom acts like the private detective of my life, while my dad is out paying teenage boys to do his dirty work!" "Are we in the mob?" All of these thoughts were haunting me. "Did you here what I said?" "Yes, I'm sorry Ms. Carolyn." "Now that's more like it. You're a good girl, don't let whatever it is that's bothering you, make you change your ways." She was right! I stood up, got myself together while still in fear, I headed home.

I placed my bike on the front sidewalk by our fence, went in the house, and started towards my room. "Hey, what am I invisible over here?" "Sorry, hey mom." "What's wrong my love?" "Nothing, I'm okay." "Uh huh, that usually means something's wrong, come talk to me, what's going on honey?" It took me a few more seconds, but I started walking towards her. She was sitting on the couch with her arms open welcoming me to her. I wanted to cry, I really did, but I didn't want her to dig to deep into what was wrong with me. My mom always had a way of getting the whole truth out of me, It's a gift she posses. I sat next to her, laid my head on her lap, and she began playing in my hair.

I started to relax more now because playing in my hair and asking me questions is like giving me butter pecan ice cream while watching 21 Jump Street, it's heaven.

"Sweetheart, what's got you so focused that you left your bike outside, your books at the front door, and you never even noticed that I was sitting here?" "It's nothing Mom, I really don't want to talk about it." "Are you sure sweetie?" "Yeah, I just need some time to myself." "Is it boys?" I didn't want to, but I knew I had to, so I lied to her. "Why are they so annoying Mom?" "I mean, I don't understand why it's so hard for them to see when someone is interested in them!" This was my best performance to date. I had tears, the puppy dog eyes, and convincing voice, I even fell to the floor and held onto her legs. Inside I felt so bad, but she couldn't know the truth, it would kill her. "Listen my love, boys are very complicated at your age. They don't know what they want, so there is no way they know what you want or how to treat you." "But mom..." "Sweetheart, don't worry too much about boys right now, give them time to mature to your level and then make a decision as to whether or not you want to deal with these boys." I lowered my gaze and softly said, "okay, thanks mom." "You're welcome my love, now go upstairs and get yourself comfortable and ready for dinner."

I slowly walked up the stairs, continuing my award winning performance, in order to keep my mom off of my tail. If she knew the terrible things my father had those boys doing, she would lose it! Now my mom has always been very serene in her demeanor, but she can be a loose cannon when she's upset. So I made it my business to camouflage my true feelings in every way possible.
I went to bed that night thinking "how will I act when I see Jake?" I had to play this one out, so I got up and I acted out both sides as if Jake were with me. I guess I was ready to see him now, hopefully. I laid down and closed my eyes only to see my fathers face as he handed over the money to those boys. "How could he do this?" "Why did he do this?" "Will I ever fall asleep?" I had to do something because I don't like the look of exhaustion and my mother was too nosy to hide anything from. So I got up and drank a glass of warm water, I was out after that. The next morning I rose to the sound of loud voices and things being thrown around the house. "What's going on?" I ran down the stairs to find my mother chanting, "you think it's okay to keep secrets from me? We are a team!" As she threw yet another one of my skates into the closet. "Mom, what's wrong?!" "Not now Cali!" "Why are you throwing things and talking to yourself?!" "What's the matter mom?!"

Here I go again, asking all the questions and being the annoying one. "I said not now Cali! Just let it go!" "NO!" I still couldn't believe I said it. "This is not like you, tell me what's going on!" "Young lady, when I say..." "Okay, okay mom." I knew I had to get out of there, this was not a good place to be when my mom was upset.
I got dressed for school, came down the stairs and headed towards the door. I turned to see where my mom was and I noticed her on the couch, with her hanky in her hand while holding what appeared to be a photo. "I'm leaving for the bus, are you okay mom?" Crying, "I'm fine honey, have a great day at school." I walked out of the door slowly, but everything inside of me wanted to hug my mom and make whatever was hurting her go away, but I knew she would only keep it from me to stay face. I made it to the bus stop where all the kids were standing, there were a little more kids than usual today.

Then I noticed why, Jake had his buddies with him from the job that they did at Mr. C's store. "Hey Cali come here!" Jake says while gesture to me with his hand. I had to play it off, he could get wind that I knew what was going on. "Oh now you want to chit chat huh?" "Don't be like that, come here." Again with the hand gesture, only this time his eyes are squinted and his voice is deeper, almost seductive. "Yuck, are you trying to be sexy?" "WHAT, NO!!" His friends begin to laugh loudly. Then the boy, Lou looks at me and says, "I'd try and be sexy for her, look at her." Okay, now I'm no Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman, when she wore her real hair, but I'm about five feet six inches tall with brownish-red hair and green eyes. My mom and dad love me, so I always look nice, and I don't like to be out of season, if you know what I mean.

"Please keep your thoughts to yourself." I made sure Lou heard me so that he didn't get any ideas. Of course his buddies made the situation worse by instigating. He was embarrassed and called me a bitch. "Hey, what's your problem dude, that's was uncalled for!" Jake got off of the stoop that he was sitting on and walked right up to Lou, grabbed his shirt, looked him dead in the eyes and says, "apologize!" "What, for what?" Says Lou. "APOLOGIZE NOW OR ELSE!" Lou rolls his eyes at me, looks at Jake and says, "I'm sorry." "To her!" Jake says while holding his shirt tighter. "Psst" "yeah, okay, I'm sorry, girl with the nasty attitude!" What a jerk I thought, but Jake was not about to let up. "Are you serious? Apologize the right way Lou!" "In your dreams, I'm outta here!" Lou walked away, rolling his eyes at me and trying to be cool while walking through the crowd of kids at the bus stop. I looked over at Jake and to my surprise, he was handsome. Dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, full lips, and olive colored skin, he was almost a Baldwin. How come I never noticed this before?

It was weird, my heart would race now that I'm sitting with him, when we would converse, my words would stammer. "Get it together," I thought to myself. At lunch, we sat together again, only now my palms were sweaty, my eyes were widen, and I couldn't stop giggling. "Dude, are you alright?" Jake says as he looks under at me. "What, yeah, I'm great." "Why do you ask?" "You just seem a little different. "You know you didn't have to take up for me earlier, I had that covered." "It's no problem, what kind of person would I be if I didn't stand up for someone that I care about?" "Awe, you care about me?" I replied in a joking voice, but I meant every word of it. "Don't make me eat your fries, and don't look too far into that, we are best dudes, I would never let anyone disrespect you." Best dudes, really?!!

As I took in those words, I realized the "care" that Jake has for me is of the sister type of nature. I looked at him again, this time without the googly eyes. He was still very handsome, but he ate his food so barbaric, and he spoke while he ate, he kept digging in my tray and.... oh my gosh, did he just drink my milk? I think I'm gonna be sick. Yeah, we were definitely best dudes.