To Be Made Whole (A Christian Romance) (On Hold)

Chapter 13: Quiet Reconciliation & Questions

I woke up to the sound of the Sunday morning alarm followed by a text notification. I felt exceptionally groggy on this early Spring day. The night before was filled with excessive page turning and highlighting as I prepared for my exam that would take place on Wednesday.

The re-do essay, that Professor Hadrick allowed me to turn in, had been sent in the moment I arrived home yesterday. Shortly after that, I began applying to part time jobs that I would have to attempt to juggle. So after all of that, my body was pooped on energy.

Rolling over slowly, I looked down at my phone. The bright screen attacked my eyes causing me to sharply look away.

"Ah! Why so bright?" I groaned whilst barely shielding my eyes.

Light had already begun pouring into the average sized bedroom in rays of gold and white. I knew that I had to begin getting ready now, no matter how tired and achy my body felt. The home had been bustling with noise as my parents could be heard opening and closing the refrigerator and cabinet doors in the kitchen.

I dared to look back down at the screen. It was a text from Ben. Both joy and relief swept over me as I read his message.

"Good morning Annie, do you mind if Jessica joins our friend date?" He had asked.

I was more than fine with that. I thought to myself.

"Of course she can. See you guys soon" I quickly replied.

Being around Ben was comfortable, but I could never allow myself to become too comfortable in his presence. It wasn't that it was impossible to have feelings for him. I knew that if Rafael weren't in the picture, it might have been possible for us, had he pursued me. Yet the thought made me uneasy and I couldn't push past those convictions.

I rolled off of the wrinkled bed sheets. My constant tossing and turning from the night before had caused my fitted sheet to pull from the upper bed corner and slowly pile up beneath me causing little indents against my skin. I sighed and slowly lifted myself from the comfy oasis that was my bed and walked over to the small closet within my room. A swift pull at the handle revealed the many colorful options before me.

Recently, my emotions had been all over the place and I just wanted, needed, to have a happy day. Yellow usually represented happiness, so I pulled the four yellow options from my closet, but immediately discarded two of them.

Before becoming a Christian, I had dressed however I pleased, yet I did love a good vintage style due to my grandmother and her sewing projects. After becoming saved, I began to feel uncomfortable wearing certain items that had fit a little too snug or too short. The two yellow cotton dresses that I discarded were sadly both snug and short. I held towards my convictions as well as the Word of God. So instead I began to look between the other two dresses.

The first dress was an old purchase. It had simplistic sleeves, with a classic O shape neckline and overall it had no real panache to it. The stitching around the waist gave a classic appearance, but it was rather plain. I wanted something a little more extravagant than my usual choices. Something that looked as joyful and vibrant as the color yellow did to me.

The second dress happened to be another creation of my grandmother's. It was silly to compare the two dresses when when hers would do.

The sleeves were full and puffed thoroughly similar to that of a princess inspired dress. The neckline was heart shaped, but placed much higher so that my cleavage would not show. The bodice smoothed with a criss cross pattern elegantly placed across it's front and the bottom flowed outward as though I had already placed a petticoat beneath it. Although, mama did stitch multiple layers of fabric which gave it an air of fullness and modesty.