Guy of my dreams

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Chay's POV

"How are you?"

The words kept echoing in my head as I stood still keeping my cool in front of the guy i once called my home.

The same guy who used me, hurt me, lied to me....

My heart started to beat frantically as I avoided his gaze.

That voice...

I missed that voice, that face, that-

Everything

I missed everything about this guy

I sighed before answering

"Good, because all the bad things I've forgotten them all"

I lied.

Just like he did to me.

I can never forget him. No matter how hard I try to forget everything about him, about us, I just can't.

I love him way too much that I feel like I've lost myself. He changed me for who I am.

And I will always hold a grudge at him for that.

In the end, it all comes back to me.

"Mhm good"

He said apathetically.

I gathered all my strength and looked straight at his eyes.

We were just five feet apart from each other right now but I feel like he's too far from me. Way too far for me to reach.

He's always been like that with me.

He has always been my dream guy. I dreamt of him being with me, taking care of me, loving me. But I guess I was the only one who has that plan.

His gaze landed with mine for a split second, there was no emotion in them. It was too dark inside that I felt like it could suffocate me if I dive into them.

He was always so hard for me to read.

How many times have I tried to cross the wall between us before? How many times i have tried to climb the barrier between us?

In spite all of my efforts, it meant nothing to him. He kept pushing me away as if I am just an outsider.

Sometimes, I just wonder did he never felt anything from me? Even just for a slightest bit.

There was always a chance, and even though I felt so much pain from him, deep down I'm still holding on to that chance.

I was lost within my thoughts that i didn't notice him walking away.

I turned my head and watched as he turned his back to me.

In an instant, my thoughts flew everywhere. My mind began to panic, I want to do this right.

I just couldn't do this anymore.

Not knowing what to do, I called him senselessly.

"P'kim"


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