-Dream- (Kimchay Short Story)

Regret and Remorse PT.2

Kim's POV

"Are you going to run away from me and your feelings again?!"

Yes, because I'm a coward.

I can't keep on standing here knowing I'm the cause of your pain and misfortune.

I don't see you as a toy, Chay. You're the source of my happiness.

But I can't keep on going with a relationship that started with lies and deception.

I turned around to face him, he was teary eyed. It made me regret everything I've done to him.

"Chay, I-im sorry"

As soon as I uttered those words with my cracking voice, he broke down in front of me. He was crying, very hard. Harder than the last time I left him.

He fell into my arms and my body automatically catched him.

I looked into his state right now, his eyes that were tightly closed, tears streaming from its corners.

I can feel his pain in every sobbing breaths he took.

He's in so much pain right now and it's not his fault–it will never be his. It's always mine.

I can't see him like this anymore.

"Porchay, get up please"

He kept his eyes closed as if he doesn't want to let go of me. He's afraid that I will leave him broken again like the last time.

Tears kept flowing from his eyes as he bit his lips hard that blood started to came out of it. He's so fragile. He's always been like this. And I'm an asshole that broke his every being.

"Chay, please I can't see you like this anymore"

Please, stop hurting me the way I hurt you.

He started to get up and before I knew it, our eyes met in the most heartfelt way.

I wasn't prepared.

I looked into his eyes hoping he didn't see my pain that was laced in them.

But I was wrong, he seemed shock when he took a proper gaze at me.

My throat started to dry as I can feel heat building up in my eyes.

I looked away as fast as I could but it was no use. He already saw it

"P'Kim why–"

I didn't let him finish and quickly hugged him, the same hug he gave me when he confessed to me.

I couldn't keep lying to myself as well anymore.

My tears fell down my eyes before I even knew it.

"I'm sorry! I'm really really sorry, Porchay. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry I lied to you–Used you even. I admit that I was an asshole for dumping you even though you did nothing wrong except—loving me"

I said hugging him tightly while I continue my sentences. I closed my eyes and started to sob.

"I'm sorry you're in love with an asshole, I'm sorry I can't admit my feelings to you. I'm sorry about everything"

I apologized honestly and meaningfully.

I'm a person who doesn't like to show my feelings, but today I want to ask for forgiveness with the person who was the best thing that happened to me.

I want to let him know that he means so much to me. He doesn't deserve someone like me—he deserves the world.

"Chay, I love you."