The campers, most of whom were not the least bit homosexually inclined (yet), trudged to their old cabins to prepare for the beginning of a new season.
"Ugh, I hate gay people!" groaned Scott. "Why do they feel the need to make it their entire personality?"
Cody, who was walking next to Noah, gave him a side eyed look that said 'get a load of this guy'. Noah returned the glance.
Suddenly, Chris flew overhead with a jetpack. The flames were rainbow colored somehow.
"Oh, campers! I forgot to mention-"
"How are those flames multicolored?" Courtney asked.
"They're so pretty!" said Lindsay.
"Uhhh, chemicals I guess." responded Chris. "I think aluminium sulfate was one of them? Turns the fire green, haha."
"YOU CAN'T PUT THAT IN FIRE CHRIS!!!" screamed Courtney.
"What's wrong- oh, god. oh no." Chris tried to stop the jetpack as sulfuric acid started sparking and flying everywhere. The 18 campers screamed and ran different directions, trying not to get hit. Bits of grass turned black as acid splashed around the ground.
Chris was able to fly down safely and land on a rock that went untouched by the acid. He took off the jetpack and flung it into the woods, probably starting a highly corrosive forest fire.
"Sorry about that, guys!" he said nonchalantly. "Anyway, what I came to tell you is that although you won't be in teams, you WILL be in duos. To make things more interesting. Haha."
"I hope you and I get paired, Lindsay!" said Beth.
"OMG that would be so much fun!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"Luckily for you all- or, maybe unluckily, I dunno- the duos were selected by our production team! However, with the elimination of our two lovebirds, it makes our two sides uneven for pairing."
"There's still an even number of us though!" said Zoey.
"Yeah, but not of boys and girls separately. Remember our number one rule?"
"Oh. Right." No straights on Camp Yaoinakwa.
"So, each side will have one group of 3!" finished Chris.
Everyone heard a choir of moronic giggles from behind the cabins.
"...Guys." said Chris.
Sierra, Sadie, and Katie came out.
"Hehe, sorry!" said Sierra. "We just wanted to be in on the sinful action!"
"Omg, poly yaoi..." sighed Katie.
"Just like the Boyfriends comic!" giggled Sadie.
All three laughed in unison like a group of hyenas.
"OMG I just remembered something, girlies" said Katie. "It's this thing I learned where you can say silly faces out loud! Watch this: UwU"
The other two gasped.
"OMG..." said Sierra. "Lemme try... XD"
"Woah O-O" said Sadie.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" yelled Chris. "It's time to assign duos!"
"Hehe alright >w<"
"Ahem. I will list the duos in order, ladies first. We have Gwen and Courtney, Zoey and Beth, and Lindsay and Heather."
"What?" cried Lindsay. "I don't wanna be with Heather!"
"Yeah, this stinks!" said Gwen.
"Didn't ask. And lastly for the girls, our trio will consist of Eva, Izzy, and Anne Maria!"
"You're telling me I gots to be with these two nut jobs?" scoffed Anne Maria. "Whatever."
"Yay, we're together Eva!!" said Izzy.
"Awesome. Moving on to our dudes!" continued Chris. "First up, we have Duncan and Trent..."
The two high fived.
"Tyler and Alejandro, and Cody and Noah."
"Sweet, dude!" said Cody. "We'll be great together."
"Haha. Yeah." Noah was going to kill himself
"And that leaves our trio, with Brick, Owen, and Scott!"
"GOD! FUCKING! DAMMIT!!!!!!!" yelled Scott, then proceeded to yell a bunch of slurs.
"Riiiight... I hope you two have fun with your ray of sunshine." said Chris. "Anyway, the first challenge starts tomorrow! You're all safe for now. Unpack your stuff and mentally prepare yourself for the next thrilling chapter of Total Drama Pride Month!"
YOU ARE READING
Total Drama Pride Month!
FanfictionWhat's up, campers! Its a brand new season of Total Drama, hosted by your one and only Chris Mclean! You thought this show was over, and so did I, until a brilliant team of producers came up with a new idea for a season. How much queerbaiting can I...
