Met You When I Was Sixteen

30.

"Sweetheart," - "How are you feeling?"
"I can remember that hangovers are the absolute worst from my time." I nodded, gripping my forehead and breathing heavily. "I'm fine, mom."

It's weird to be able to call my only parental figure 'Mom' again. It's been a pretty long time since I last saw her, and it kind of sucks that it had to be like this. "If you say so, do you need anything in spectacular?"

"Like anything at all," I shook my head.

"I'm actually fine. I really don't need anything. Thanks for the offer tho." She smiled back at me. That kind of worried smile, but the kind of caring smile.  It's the sweetest smile, and the typical mom one. "Well, you look beautiful with that new hair cut darling." I remember my hair being longer than this. I cut it about a pretty long time ago, but I guess you could still
See it a little.

I smiled, those colognes forming in my cheeks. I didn't say anything. she knew I was thankful. But I'm just bad at wording things.

Afraid of blurting something out I might regret later. "Anyways, that cute brown haired boy downstairs was looking for you. Is hè your boyfriend?" Her face lightens up by the mention of a boyfriend. I chuckled. Oh right, I never told my mom about my relationship with sem.  "No, The.. other one is tho."

But maybe it's for the best that she doesn't know. Cause hearing that your daughter is in an incredibly toxic relationship with a boy who has been her boyfriend for literal years and not noticing a single thing nor being informed about it is kind of worrying. 

"Oh." Is all she said, but the following "He's cute too tho." Followed by a wink and an incredibly bright smile. "Yeah, He is. Isn't he?" Cute but toxic. "I really did miss you though, I really did." I nodded, while she grabbed my hand and rubbed her thumb against my skin. "I did too mom, I missed you so much." Don't cry right now. Whatever you do, don't cry.

She pulled me into a hug before pulling us apart. She had tears in her eyes, and for some reason I felt bad. Have I ever been this bad of a daughter all those years? I mean, I did leave my mother alone for a total of four years.

That's not something to be proud of. But I knew that she'd support me in any decision I'd make. She always has and always will.
Cause she's an amazing mom. And I'm a terrible daughter.

The only thing she wanted was for me to be happy and that -
That is the only thing I wasn't, the only thing I'm not.

I always thought that I'd be alone for the rest of my life, end up in a two story apartment with seven cats and a messy living room with a shitty job. But knowing that I'm in a relationship Nobody deserves to go through makes me wish that yes, I'd end up being that person. I couldn't wish for anything more.

Sem may have given up on us; he might be absolutely happy with the way lives going, things are handling.

But that doesn't mean I am. Not like this. Not if things won't change.