Met You When I Was Sixteen

15.

We came to the conclusion that none of us really had any money on hand, and if we did we'd only have enough for two bikes, knowing we were with three, it should be stressful.

But we decided to do it, what do we have to lose after all?

I hired two bikes, but the half of my and sems money and atlas paid some ten dollars, since he was the one with the less money on hand.

The only problems we came to face were the suitcases, and the fact that one of us had to cycle on the back of one of the bikes, and of course.. that person had to be me.

"Jezus Brooklynn, your quiet the heavy type." Sem laughed, also meaning it as an insult. I immediately froze, laughing back fakely, while Atlas seemed to not catch a thing of what Sem said, or he did, or he saw me struggling and being uncomfortable.

If only you knew Sem, that I didn't eat for days.

Atlas smiled lightly at me, patting the back of his bike as an opportunity for me to sit with him, except of sem.

I smiled kindly at him, releasing breaths I once again didn't know I was holding. "Thank you.." I sat down and held the suitcase in my hand, letting it roll over the streets while holding the handle in a strong grip. Sem, and Atlas did the same.

Atlas didn't say anything, except he just looked at me with pity, while Sem on the other hand, looked between Atlas and me, annoyed that I'd rather choose Atlas over Sem.

I never said I'd choose him over Sem, but I think that if you'd ask me that and made me choose, I would indeed choose atlas. But I got to deal with the fact that I've chosen Sem to be called my boyfriend, oh how I wish I could return time and be in high school again.

But no matter what happens. Some parts of me will always love sem.

Most people would say that they hope to never relive high school all over again at all, but I'm not one of them. I'd rather relive high school than relive the toxic threat of our destroyed relationship.

But I guess that's just me.

I think Sem's very proud of the way things turned out. I think he's very proud of the goals he achieved and the person he has become.

I on the other hand, hate myself. I'm absolutely disgusted with the way I deal with things, the way I am and the fact that no matter what Sem accomplished on doing, I'd still go back to him. I'll still be with him. But if in any universe he ever asked me to marry him, I think I would say no. At Least no to present Sem. I would say yes to past Sem. And it would be without hesitation.

But that, will never happen in this universe. Cause this universe is actually fucked, this fucked that I'll never find myself, and by that I mean the real me. Cause Sem broke it in pieces and never repaired it; he never glued it back together. Sem created me, and oh how I wish I'd never let it go this far.