7 Minutes In Heaven (AOT MESSY LOVE)

7

I looked up from the table I sat at and met eyes with Hitch. Her bright eyes shimmered with an emotion I couldn't read; I'm sure I would be able to if I wasn't so stuck in my past.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?" She asked. I couldn't muster up the words to describe the pain that was haunting me. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I don't think I ever truly got over Mikasa; and knowing she not only deeply wounded me but Eren as well? I was devastated to say the least. "It was Eren, wasn't it?" I shook my head. I wish I could talk to people in their minds; instead of using words, all I'd have to do is touch them and they'd see all the images going through my mind. Life would be so much easier without having to talk about our feelings.

"Don't worry about it, Hitch." I said softy, trying my hardest to give her a gentle smile. She wasn't going for it, she was too smart to not see the hurt behind the mask I had on at the moment.

"I can't stand to see you so broken, Shy." I took a sip of my drink, not knowing what to say. Hitch took my hand and sighed. I could see her posture slump, her shoulders falling. "Why do you let stupid people hurt you?" As if i was burned, I ripped my hand away from her embrace.

"You think I want to feel like this? You think I asked for this?" The question tasted like acid on my tongue, my chest burned with anger. Hitches eyes rolled, her hand ruffled her bangs before falling back onto the table.

"You know that's not what I meant- I-"

"Then what did you mean, Hitch?" My eyes narrowed as I waited for her response; whatever it was, it had better be good, I was in no mood for bullshit right now.

She took a minute to respond but when she finally did, I could see her guard fall down. "You let people in so easily, Shiloh... not everyone deserves your heart." I stood up quickly, my eyes brimming with furious tears. I aggressively tossed the remainder of my drink in the garbage, making my way out of the shop.

I could hear Hitch following hastily behind.

"Wait up! Shiloh, stop!" She called. Her hand softly cupped my arm. She pulled me back to look at her; I tore my arm out of her grasp. Rage fueled my actions.

"It's not my fault everyone around me claims to be one thing just for their act to fall to pieces! Fake! Everyone's fake, Hitch!" I screamed. I didn't care that people witnessed my breakdown, I don't care if word gets back to my professors. The pain and agony I was feeling was too much to hold and the walls I built up were giving away.

"What, I'm fake, too?!" Hitch barked. "I've been here this whole time, giving you 100%, authentic me! And you couldn't give two shits!!!" I wanted to run, I wanted to hide. I didn't want to exist. "You beg for security; your step dad, Mikasa, I can already see you doing the same thing with Jaeger... they don't love you, Shiloh, they never did!" Tears ran down my cheeks as I looked to the sky hoping a beam of light would take me away to anywhere but here. "But you know who did?! You know who does?! Me, Shiloh, me. Hitch!" Like a crash, a mental force stopped me in my tracks. All emotion turned off in that moment, allowing me to fully understand what my best friend was saying. "You've been so absorbed in your own pity, you haven't even seen the obvious fact that I'm in love with you, Shiloh... since the day I met you, you were it for me..."

No. This can't be. "No, that's not true-"

"Yes, it is!" Hitch reached for my hand but I pulled away before she could hold it. She flinched back, hurt stormed her eyes. "Shy... I- I wanted to tell you so many times... but one thing after another; I didn't want to be selfish and make your misery about me." She looked down at her brown boots, the ones she wore every day. She tugged at her cream cropped sweater as she wiped her tears with the sleeve of it. "I'm in love with you, Shiloh." I shook my head. This was all too much. I backed away from Hitch, her hand outstretched to me. "Please, Shy, don't run away."