I had been throwing up almost non-stop for maybe three weeks and Zack wouldn't leave me alone. He was constantly calling and showing up at my house. I started to feel like I was losing my mind and hadn't left my room for days, even though I was supposed to go back to school a week earlier. I knew Zack would be waiting for me there and so would Andy and everyone else. I couldn't think more than an hour into the future because if I did... all I could visualize or feel was the pain and darkness that had swallowed my life whole.
The doctors had given me a near perfect bill of health, which I couldn't understand with everything I had been feeling lately. My ribs were almost completely healed and my memory had returned in full; even the memory of the searing pain I felt when I hit the ground before I blacked out. Some things are best forgotten. Other than that, they said I was fine, but I wasn't. Like I had said, I had been throwing up for weeks and my back was sore. Something just felt... Wrong.
"Miss Heartly, your car is waiting out front." Carson's soft voice pulled me from my thoughts. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I took my head from my hands and looked up at the young butler sadly.
"Carson... I can't... I can't go." My voice cracked and I nearly began crying again but tried my hardest to stay composed. Though that didn't last as, when he came over and hugged me, I broke down in tears.
"Miss... Brooke, I'm sorry." He held me a bit, surprising me with his lack of formalities. "I have ever confidence that you will pull through, but you must go for yourself." He helped me up after the pep talk and offered me his handkerchief, wiping my tears.
"Thank you Carson, but-" before I could even finish my sentence, he had grabbed my bag and taken my hand, leading me downstairs and out the door to the car.
"Be brave Miss Heartly." He closed the door behind me once I was in the car, leaving me at a loss for what had just happened. All I knew was that I was now terrifyingly close to having to face what I had been avoiding for weeks.
The walk into school and to my locker felt like what I imagined walking to a pillory felt like; horrifying, exposing, and miserable. My heart only plummeted further seeing slurs such as "slut", "whore", and "bitch" scrawled all over my locker. Choking back the the tears and opening my locker, I kept trying to relax as I shoved my bag in and got my books out.
"Hey suger-tits." I froze, having to fight back a new surge of tears. "Just so you know, I'm having a party this Saturday and my hookers canceled. So, you should come." Andy scoffed and shoved my against my locker, getting uncomfortably close to my face and whispering in my ear. "This is why you don't cross me bitch." He laughed and shoved me against the locker once again before walking away, smirking.
I had never felt smaller, knowing everyone in the hall had seen the spectacle and was still staring. Damn, I still couldn't cry. I merely pulled on the sleeves of my baggy sweatshirt, grabbed my books and went to my classes.
The day both dragged on for ages as well as bled together in one massive blur. I think there was a test in there somewhere or a few words exchanged with a teacher, but there were two things I distinctly remember; Zacks stares and the one thing he had said to me as I was rushing from one class to the next.
"Meet me after school."
I wasn't going to. I couldn't, though I don't know what made me think I had a choice. I tried to dash out the front door of the school as quickly as humanly possible but was ripped back by his familiar strong grip.
"Zack. Wait!" He wasn't listening, I know he wasn't. He dragged me all the way to the back courtyard of the school near the woods and I don't know why, but I tried to fight. I kicked at him as best I could.
"Damnit!" I heard him shout and knee is nailed him, so I kept fighting, until it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was on the ground. In an instant it seemed, yet it felt like slow motion when his palm made contact with my cheek. "I can't believe I wanted to try talking to you! Ungrateful rich cunt!" It hurt. His words. His fist. His kicks. Somewhere in the haze it all went black, the muffled sounds of feet scuffling, shouts, and a concerned voice barely reaching me through the haze.
It was my fault. I was the stupid one. I was ungrateful. It was my fault....
Sitting in the hospital I had been so happy to get out of, I sobbed and held my stomach. I couldn't take it. He was right. They were all right, right? Pregnant. Zacks... Three weeks... I hadn't even wanted it but... I truly was hopeless... Wasn't I?
