Kᴀɴᴛʜᴏɴʏ Oɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs

A dramatic night

Modern AU

Warning: self-harm

~~~

Ever since I found out about Anthony being suicidal, I have been overly conscious. My eyes never really moved away from him. I always tried to be as alerted as possible.

I didn't want to lose him. I just couldn't. He was my everything. My reason to breathe, to live for. If something happened to him, I'd be dead too. If not physically, mentally. My soul would be diminished.

Anthony and I have been dating for 5 months now. Till last month, I didn't know about his instincts. Of course he was always a bit gloomy, and less happy. But I thought it was because of his past with his father and all. But earlier this month, his sister, Daphne, told me all about how he tried to kill himself twice.

He was carrying too much on his shoulders. He felt too lonely and refused any kind of help. He denied the fact that people wanted to be there for him, to be able to help him. He was in complete chaos, all within himself. He was fighting a war, without any weapon and he knew he'd lose eventually.

My heart cried for him. All the fibre in my being screamed, ached to be the shield that protects him. But it was possible only if he lets me.

I haven't told him yet. I wanted him to open up to me on his own. I wouldn't force him to share. I'd be there in silence untill he's ready to come to me.

Today was an exceptional day. He was being rather gloomy, moody. He didn't have breakfast and remained in his room all day.

I had to go to school and pick up our works, but my attention was at home. With him.

Three of us, Anthony, Daphne and I, we bought this apartment for our commute purposes. So it was even easier for me to check up on him.

I pleaded Daph to stay home as well, so I could get updates on him. My hands fidgeted and heart hammered as the teacher kept on with the lesson. I just wanted to sprint home and spend the rest of the day with Anthony.

'Anthony's been in the toilet for half an hour'

Daph's text came just when I started the engine of my car.

My heart dropped and sweat beads started to form on my head as I sped up, silently praying for nothing bad to happen to him. I couldn't ever lose him.

I slammed the breaks on the driveway and raced inside the house, speeding up the stairs and stopping against the washroom door.

"Anthony? Babe, are you okay in there?" I asked, calming my breathing down and gently holding the door knob.

Daphne was anxiously biting her lip as she waited for an answer.

When I decided to open the door with a spare, a timid voice came through from behind the locked door.

"It's open. Come in."

I gestured for Daphne to stay and walked in, shutting the door behind me.

The sight infront made my blood run cold.

Anthony was sitting on the edge of the tub, a shiney razor twirling between his fingers as he monotonously gazed down at it.

I swallowed hard.

"Hey."

He didn't look up at me. His left foot tapped on the floor, the twirling of the razor got rapid as he seemed more anxious.

"Uhm, did you have dinner?" I tried to cool the atmosphere.

He was silent.

My patience was breaking.