To the Well-Organized Mind

Chapter Thirty-Eight

[Nia]

Humanity doesn't want freedom. To be wholly free means you have responsibility and the need to make choices. It is far easier to blame your predicament on events as if they're out of your control.

-from Ridge's scattered papers

***

The journey back to Asis feels ten times longer than the journey out did. Although we pause to redo Ridge's bandages and I tie my sling around the leg as a tourniquet, that's the only break we take. The rain eventually peters out, and while we remain soaked by brushing against wet foliage, it's nice not having a constant drizzle.

Through it all, the gang of ferals follows behind us, quietly. It's the eeriest thing I've ever experienced.

Fen tries to lighten the mood by talking about what we'll do when we're back in Asis. "First thing we'll do is gorge on all the new food that came to fruition during the rainy season."

I haven't eaten in almost an entire day, so his words make my stomach growl.

"No, scratch that. First thing we'll do is get out of these wet clothes, dry off, and finally have feet that don't ooze water."

He continues in this vein for a bit, and I tune him out, focusing instead on finding the best path for us to wind our way through.

"And maybe Ridge will want to start a school."

I suddenly snap my focus back to Fen's words. "What?"

"Ridge. Once he's cured of feralism, I bet he'd make a good school teacher. Asis could use one, couldn't it?"

Asis may be able to use a school teacher to teach things besides survival, but Ridge will not be the one filling that role. Thinking of that makes my throat close, however.

"I wonder if there are enough homes for all these new additions?" Fen ponders next.

His prattling has gone too far. "What makes you think they're joining Asis? What makes you think they can all be cured?" He opens his mouth to reply, and I snap, "Just stop! Let's walk in silence."

Fen obliges, but already, his daydreams are giving me a migraine. Eyeing the crowd of ferals behind us, I wonder how many of them can be cured. How many are already on the path to being cured? But if only a portion of them return to Asis, what does that mean for the remainder?

And most of all, why do I care what happens to ferals?

***

When we finally reach the gate, dusk is falling. I let the ferals clump up behind us, gathering around us in wait. Then I knock.

"It's Nia and Fen! Let us in!"

The door doesn't open. A voice calls out, incredulous: "Nia? Gregg said you aren't to return. I...I can't let you in."

I roll my eyes. Of course he said that. I'm about to reply, when Cookie pushes up to us. I'm taken aback and momentarily alarmed. Is she finally going to attack?

But she focuses on the door. "Duran! Duran."

I gape at her, astounded that she's aware of and can speak the man's name.

On the other side of the door, there is silence. Then, breathless: "Cookie?"

The gate is flung wide. Duran stands there, holding a lantern against the approaching night. His eyes latch onto Cookie, and suddenly he is crying and holding her in his arms. She stands somewhat stiffly, not looking at ease, and Cookie's child stands uncomfortably behind them, shifting feet. After his reunion with his wife, Duran looks at the child and gasps.