Sweet and Sour

Chapter 22 - That was a long time ago

Warnings: PTSD/nightmares, references to story's earlier violence/threat of sexual assault, sexual content

You couldn't see, everything was black and you felt the pressure of something wrapped around your head – you must be blindfolded. You couldn't move your arms, your wrists are tied. There are hands gripping your shoulders pushing you to step forward. You can hear laughter and jeering near your face but they somehow seem far away at the same time.

"Let's just hope she's not been too used up by Barnes for us to have some fun with her" someone snarls into your ear.

You realise you're stepping on something. Something soft, but not entirely – there are hard bits too. It's unsettlingly warm under your bare feet. It suddenly hits you that you're walking on people. Bodies. Flesh. You try to get away but everywhere you step you touch another with your foot. You're screaming now. There is the sound of guns in the background behind you, far away for now but getting closer. There must be so many of them.

The shots are much louder. You try to run but the unseen hands holding you tight around your shoulders won't let you go. You continue to stumble across the soft flesh under your feet, pleading with your assailant to let you run.

The guns are close now. Very close...

You can't hear anything else but the gunshots. And the screaming. So much screaming.

You're shouting, panicking. You try to flee but you're caught in some sort of material, tangled up in a knot. You kick your legs and swing your arms to get loose. Then a strong pair of hands are on you and you're pinned down, you can't move. Someone is speaking to you.

"Doll...Doll...It's okay...It was only a dream. You're safe with me".

You know that voice. You look up, it's Bucky. You gaze into his azure eyes and they invoke a sudden calmness within you. You know those eyes well. You're safe.

He's looking at you with worry, his arms are wrapped around you, holding you down as he tries to soothe you. He's dressed in a grey t-shirt and sweatpants. You're laying in a bed with him.

With Bucky?

Oh yes. Now you remember.

You're wrapped up in the bedsheets. Your chest rising and falling as you calm down and look around at your surroundings. Bucky's guest room. You're alright, you're with Bucky.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry" you mutter.

He shakes his head, cooing softly. "It's alright, you don't have to apologise for anything".

He kisses the side of your head and tenderly lays you back on the pillow.

A firm knock is coming from the bedroom door and Steve pokes his head round a second later, looking into the room with concern.

"Thanks Steve, we're okay. Just bad dreams" Bucky explains, waving him away.

Steve nods, looking at you sympathetically before ducking out again.

"Fuck..." you whisper.

"I know" Bucky replies, holding your back against his chest.

"What time is it?" you ask groggily.

"A little after ten".

You nod, relieved you're off work today.

"Do you need to be up doing stuff?" you ask quietly.

"No. You're my priority" he responds.

"Bucky, you don't have to-"

"No. This is where I need to be" he sternly cuts you off, and you know there's no room for argument.