Tara, Kape

Part 3

Hindi naman kasi madaling sabihin kung kailan nga ba "too soon" or "too early" ang mga bagay. Based on how long Xeng has been dating, however, she discovered na things are only too early when you don't want the person enough or don't like yourself adequately. 

When something is lacking—attraction man ito sa ka-connect mo, o kumpyansa mo sa sarili—things would never be on time no matter how long you wait.

For Xeng, the reality is, that you're just ready for some people and some make you feel ready. 

Si Jake... he makes her feel ready; He makes her wanna try again.

Maraming pagkakataong pinalagpas si Xeng. She's always been held back by hesitation. 

E kasi mukhang manloloko.

Ugh. Noong high school kami, pinahiran niya ng kulangot 'yong buhok ko.

He uses way too many emojis, and the cringe ones too.

He... he likes polygamy.

Momol lang gusto niya.

Nagpapabili ng sapatos on the first date?

He kept staring at my boobs.

Wala na bang darating pa? She's so close to giving up on love. Madalas, iniisip niya na baka siya talaga ang problema at hindi naman ang mga tao sa paligid niya.

Then, dating apps happened. Doon napagtanto ni Xeng na hindi siya ang problema. Madalas, lalaki talaga. O kaya kung siya man, mas malaking isyu pa rin ang lalaki.

Ayaw niyang maging man-hater, pero kasi.

But Jake. He feels different. There's a spark with him. May excitement na para bang unang beses ka pa lang makakatikim ng alak. 

Sa hindi mabilang na pagkakataon, nagpigil na naman ng ngiti si Xeng. She sits back in her chair, tucks her purple hair behind her ear and looks at Jake.

Ito 'yong tingin na hindi ka nahihiyang obserbahan ang kaharap mo. She does it openly, and with a tiny grin.

Ibinaba ni Jake ang hawak na cellphone at binaliktad ito sa lamesa saka ngumiti sa kanya. Ang gwapo talaga nito, and he looks as if he always smells nice. "What?" he asks with a laugh.

Natawa rin siya saka umiling. "Wala. You're just cute."

"Wow naman, Miss Xeng. That was super smooth. Looks like I need to up my game ah."

"Grabe naman! Do I look like I'm that hard to please?"

Jake adjusts himself in his seat. He bites on his lower lip, thinking, and the time he uses to settle in his seat and adjust his cuffs makes Xeng sweat. Shit, oo talaga?

"Hindi naman," he finally says and she discreetly releases an exhale of anxiousness. "Out of all the women I'm dating, you just seem the most uptight."

Her eyes widen. Hold up. Anak ng tinapa, bangus, daing, at tuyo. Rewind nga tayo, please.

"Women...?"

Saglit na nagulat si Jake sa reaksyon ni niya, pero saglit lang naman. He scratches his head then grins with her as if there's something he cannot understand. "Yes?"

PUTANG. INANG. MALUTONG. 

Xeng tries to gather herself. Hindi siya puwedeng umiyak dito at manuntok. She can't let her emotions get the best of her. Oo nga naman. They met at a dating app. What does she expect—for him to drop all of the other women he talks to for her?